American looking for some advice,

[bigbob]

Re: American looking for some advice,

@Code_Red

oh Bholey badshah Decent fellow & 5ho@b sahab please try to focus and dont pass judgment in haste.

bigbob, it seems you are trying hard to paint the picture as bleak as possible. no offense but these Lies are quite ummm say insignificant/irrelevent if you dont explain to us how adversely they affected(or is affecting ) you daughter.

I am not advocating that guy, he might be a moron or worse and there are 30 more lies about him you dont know yet, but i hope and pray that Lord make your daughter’s married life blissfull

Lets analyze :

** 1. said he was 40 when he’s really 50**

How old is your daughter. Your daughter found it accidently or he told her himself ?

** 2. said he divorced his wife, she divorced him (she’s Pakistani)
**
That is irrelevent. Only thing relevent for you and your daugter’s future is the reason of divorce.

**3. Lied that he would not take a new job in another state and then did just that (she’ll be moving 1200 miles from her family and friends).

Technically that would be a promise not lie! and depending on situation it could also be his priority. but priorities can change. a person can accept an offer if it is good for his career growth. Lots of people change states / country due to many reasons But if the guy is not allowing his wife to meet her parent then your concerns are valid.
**
4. Lied that his last girlfriend was a drunk that stole money from him, she’s not a drunk and did not steal any money from him. (she’s an honor student that’s also 20 years younger than him)

you can be sure about this only if there was a case registered and court of law gave this ruling. In any case how is this affecting the current relationship. Is she ( last girlfriend ) still part of his life ?

** 5. Lied about a court case that he lost.**

Ok. would you like to tell us the nature of this case ?

** 6. Lied about owning his house , he was renting it.**

thats wrong

7. She caught him in the bathroom injecting himself with a syringe, he told her he had diabetes and was afraid she’d leave him if he told her, she had not ever seen any diabetic supplies in the house.
**
Again thats quite bad too. Lack of trust in such an intimate relationship is dangerous
**
8. He told his neighbor to stay away from my daughter because he didn’t want anyone bothering her.

That can be perfectly fine if they are bothering her, otherwise i dont think there is any reason for such behaviour.

Making sick joke about any religion is quite ignorant and unislamic (assuming he is a muslim)

Rest of your concerns sound very valid, as a parent i respect your concerns.

some very important questions

Does he respect your daughter and her wishes (overall )?

Is he a faithfull husband ?

Only the wife can answer these questions , and if answer of any of these questions is in negative then she should consider separation, otherwise they should try to build trust and understanding

No I’m not trying to paint the picture as being bleak, I tried to like the man but that’s not going to happen.

As to your questions,

1. My daughter is 28 , she discovered it on his passport.

2. Its another lie and they all add up.

3. He told her that he wasn’t going to apply for the job, but did so anyway.

4. He has slandered this other woman in order to make himself look good.

5. I found the court documents online, he started a psychiatry business several years ago with two other men from Pakistan, they were hiring other Pakistani doctors through the J1 Visa program. His partners had to take him to court because he was mis-handling the money, he then locked them out of the business. He lost the case and had to pay monies back to the other two partners. I have the court documents and its too involved to list it all here.

6 & 7. we agree on

8. The neighbor is also his landlord, my daughter is still unaware that the house was rented not owned by him. I found the real estate records proving that the neighbor is in fact the home owner. My daughter should have figured this out for herself because the neighbors daughter lives in the other unit (duplex) and they take care of all the house repair and upkeep. The neighbor had never bothered my daughter before, he just didn’t want my daughter talking to her and finding out that the house belonged to her and not him. My daughter thinks he was being very considerate for her well being, That’s how Stupid my daughter has become!!

9. He is a muslim and I was quite surprised to hear he had made sick jokes about her religion and in front of company.

10. No he doesn’t. He put on a show in the beginning but after 6 months it all began to change and is only getting worst.

11. Their not married yet, I have no idea wether or not he’s being faithful to her, I have my doubts about his trips to Brazil for the festivals there.