Re: Am I wrong?
Islamically speaking, anything that he owns is yours too. And anything you own, is ONLY yours :)
So that house is yours too...
Re: Am I wrong?
Since he brought it after you got married it isn't just HIS property! It's yours and his. Did he just say no without any explanation? I would get worried if my husband sold something of ours without asking me first.
No, I know the reason for the sale of the house. You missed the point I am talking about.
Re: Am I wrong?
You know its these little things that will cause riffs in marriages.
You're seeing it as you don't trust me; i promise you he'll see it as you dont trust my parents.
And Trust wasn't really and issue here to begin with.
His parents aren't going to run away with the money....
the cash will ultimately be used for your well being.
Its less responsibility to hold onto it.
Keep life simple.
Re: Am I wrong?
You know its these little things that will cause riffs in marriages.
You're seeing it as you don't trust me; i promise you he'll see it as you dont trust my parents. And Trust wasn't really and issue here to begin with.
His parents aren't going to run away with the money.... the cash will ultimately be used for your well being.
Its less responsibility to hold onto it.
Keep life simple.
I am ok with his father keeping the money and giving it back when we buy another home. I didn't force him afterwards but I just felt insulted because he gave money to third person instead of me.
Re: Am I wrong?
Think of it this way. If he isn't keeping the money himself in his account, or a joint account why would he give it to you? The point of giving it to a third party is to ensure it is not spent correct? Otherwise if it not for that reason what is the reason?
I guess, I missed the point as well. I too thought it was because you felt that he didn’t see the house as a shared asset & viewed the money as his own and/or didn’t trust you. What makes you sad/hurt about this situation? Did you husband explain his logic behind his parents’ account holding the money instead of yours/joint?
Either spouse making huge financial decisions without discussing with the other spouse are not doing justice to the partnership of marriage. If you already know the reason for the sale of ** your ** house, great. But it’s only fair for him to (at the very least) discuss with you where the money would be held temporarily until you bought the second home. It doesn’t matter if he and/or lives else where.
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I am ok with his father keeping the money and giving it back when we buy another home. I didn't force him afterwards but I just felt insulted because he gave money to third person instead of me.
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To tell you the truth, I would feel the same way if my husband did that. I'm glad that you are at peace with your husband's decision and hope your in-laws are trustworthy people who will return your money.
It's possible that his father is going to invest it, instead of the money just sitting in your/joint account.
Re: Am I wrong?
Wait…married for 3 years but you don’t live with him? 
So since you have no share in the house…based on his logic, you have no share/right to his income or ANY other decision he makes in his life. Sounds like the thought process of a single guy.
Personally, I wouldn’t put up with something like this. This is not about his parents running away with the money or him thinking that its best to keep it with a 3rd party so it’s not spent by either one of you wisely. Marriage is a partnership between 2 adults. The point is that this is a major financial decision that he made on his own. He does not think there’s any reason to discuss this with you (ie. his wife). And to me…I see it as a lack of respect for you as his wife.
Anyway…at the end of the day its your marriage and you seem satisfied with his explanation/with the situation so there’s not much left to say I guess.
I don't think I am the only one who missed the point?
What is your point?
[quote="thedoer"]
Since he brought it after you got married it isn't just HIS property! It's yours and his. Did he just say no without any explanation? I would get worried if my husband sold something of ours without asking me first.
No, I know the reason for the sale of the house. You missed the point I am talking about.
[/QUOTE]
I don't think I am the only one who missed the point?
What is your point?
Re: Am I wrong?
Guys we have to buy a big home and I agree with zafra, he wants his father to keep the money to make sure that I don´t spent them and he doesn´t run out of money to buy the home he is looking for. I just wanted him to trust me but I hope in future in sha Allah when my time comes he will trust me.
Re: Am I wrong?
thank you all for your inputs, i luv u all.
Re: Am I wrong?
he wants his father to keep the money to make sure that I don´t spent them and he doesn´t run out of money to buy the home he is looking for.
Are you saying that your husband's assumption that you would spend it if it was in your account, is a fair assumption?
If that's the case, then I guess he made the best decision by keeping the money out of your hands but it would've been nicer to discuss it with you before making that decision.
Re: Am I wrong?
Are you saying that your husband's assumption that you would spend it if it was in your account, is a fair assumption?
If that's the case, then I guess he made the best decision by keeping the money out of your hands but it would've been nicer to discuss it with you before making that decision.
yes this is his assumption and I know its not fair at all for which I feel bad but as he is not willing to give me either even after I discussed with him, so right now I have to just bear this instead of making an issue out of it to make it peaceful at home. Am I wrong now?
after discussing with you people I discussed with him and found that I should not make a big fuss if he doesn´t agree, correct?
Re: Am I wrong?
I am ok with his father keeping the money and giving it back when we buy another home. I didn't force him afterwards but I just felt insulted because he gave money to third person instead of me.
Woh third person uska baap hai!!!!! THE SEED HE CAME FROM!!! TUM ABHI KAAL AYEE HOOOOOOOOOOO
Sorry I'm not being mean... there is no other way of saying this.
Re: Am I wrong?
yes this is his assumption and I know its not fair at all for which I feel bad but as he is not willing to give me either even after I discussed with him, so right now I have to just bear this instead of making an issue out of it to make it peaceful at home**. Am I wrong now?
after discussing with you people I discussed with him and found that I should not make a big fuss if he doesn´t agree, correct?**
None of us can or should be telling you whether or not YOU should make a big fuss over this. We can only share what we should do if this was our marriage.
If this was happening in my marriage...all he*l would break lose b/c I refuse to tolerate being disrespected like this....especially in front of my in-laws. I would hate for my husband to get the impression that I'm ok with him making major decisions like this without discussing it with me first. But that's me. In your case, only you can decide whether or not this is worth creating a big fuss over. There is no right or wrong answer in this.
Re: Am I wrong?
Ditto^ The truth of the matter is no one can make a judgement call like this on YOUR relationship or tell you how you should feel.
I'm with paheli on this one. Hell would break loose and my husband would mysteriously disappear.