^ This! My mother had a habit of going through my things when I lived at home and it drove me nuts! I can’t even imagine my MIL doing this. I don’t understand why anyone in their right mind thinks its ok for someone to go through the items in a married couple’s bedroom. Forget cash, gold etc…as a married couple, they might have other intimate items that they don’t want anyone else…particularly someone like the MIL…seeing or TOUCHING! What woman out there would be ok with her MIL looking at/touching her undergarments, tampons/pads, birth control pills/condoms, lingerie etc.
Heck…why even bother putting a door to their bedroom. Since they shouldn’t have anything to “hide”, lets just take the door off so they can be watched by the entire family 24/7.
i would be so incredibly bothered by this and can completely understand your need to want your own privacy. it is VERY UNFAIR of your husband to react that way and no one has a right to go through someone else's things. especially anyones MIL does not unless she has some reason to believe something is wrong but just with the intention of snooping, very wrong. you should definitely take some stronger steps, yes it will create issues but in the end you will have your privacy back and like everything else the issue will die down. that is truly gross like reha said. i dont agree with paheli about doing it yourself unless your completely desperate but your husband SHOULD understand especially if he gives you your own right to your and each others privacy. his mom does not have a right to snoop at all. and i can imagine the need for you wanting to make him understand the issue at hand, its about principal and therefore taking it on himself to get it done.
what do you think shes trying to look for anyway? and whats this about your mom? just tell her?
That’s the thing. People think its nothing to worry about if you nothing to hide. Why are these women bothered if someone - especially a woman they say is like their mother - goes into their room?
If it was me (and it was at one point), I’d be mortified because I have no idea what she’s seen or thinks if she were to find my private things. Why would anyone get bent out of shape over keys and such? Its about maintaining some sort of respect. Just because she’s a DIL doesn’t mean she’s a tamasha.
You have three options:
A) take a strong stand and put a lock on your bedroom door.
B) be sneaky and make sure your room is full of things to mortify her - eventually she’ll stop on her own. go all out for this because subtlety will not do the trick.
I was in this situation with my own mother and it was mortifying!
If my MIL was doing this to me…not only would I worry about what she’s thinking, I would be horrified to think who she’s talking to about what she sees in my room! If the MIL has such a lack of respect for the DIL that she’s going through her (DIL’s) bedroom, then there’s no reason to believe that the MIL won’t publicize what she finds while she’s in there.
The fact that she feels entitled to go through your things is alarming. Next time you see her in your room, you should confront her right away, preferably in front of the whole family: "I saw you in my room a few times, were you trying to find something?".
Maybe she thinks no one has noticed and she can get away with it.
if ur husband cant do anythn regardin that den u should talk to ur MIL directly or indirectly that you dont like nosy people and you love your privacy.. make her feel dat u know dat she use to come to ur room in ur absence ...
i would go ahead and replace the lock on your room (do it yourself or get a handyman). if your husband has issues with that, then lock up all your stuff in a cupboard/closet and let him keep his things in the open.
Well I have same issues with my MIL too. And trust me I think I might be the only one who doesn’t essentially have any disputes over it. When I was a student my Mom use to sneak the same way my MIL does. To pop into my room when I use to be out. Check out things around. I used to hate it then.
I think locking up the entire Room is really rude. If she doesn’t touch your valuables then why to create such a mess. When living within a joint family one should learn how to compromise. Take your MIL as your own mom.
LOL.. been through seen that. when i was unmarried my room was solely my room. any book's position changed would also not go unnoticed from my eye. i wud ask mom who was here and all that. but here its diff.. this master bedroom was my mil's room before my marriage. hence when i came here. there are innumerable things which are hers.. like in a big multicabinet she owns two cupboards which are still hers.. though she does not bother me much.. her presence is inevitable.
i ve just learnt to live with it. thats simple than adding more stress in our lives.
i just keep everything locked when i go out. take the keys with me.
just a little bit extra effort but have to do it... dont wanna complicate
I think It's in MILS' blood to spy on their bahus. I have also been going through this BS. As a result, I used to lock my wardrobes and drawers, I used to lock my room whenever I was out of home but my husband and his mother didn't like it, they made a huge issue out of it. His mother was like "Me koi chor hoon?" Mazay ki baat I didn't let her know that I had fixed the locks in my wardrobes but she got to know this, HOW? obviously she might have tried to open them. Majority of MILs have this psyche.
Well, I don't suggest you anything. just don't expect your hubby to stand beside you in this matter. be clam and do what you want to keep your privacy.
I don’t understand why anyone in their right mind thinks its ok for someone to go through the items in a married couple’s bedroom. 
Forget cash, gold etc…as a married couple, they might have other intimate items that they don’t want anyone else…particularly someone like the MIL…seeing or TOUCHING! 
What woman out there would be ok with her MIL looking at/touching her undergarments, tampons/pads, birth control pills/condoms, lingerie etc. 
