Hi all, i was having a minor argument with my fiance over sumthing and suddenly he said:
If u think this is not a type of relationship that u were looking for then its up to you whether u want to make it or break it
i was lyk :-o:-o:-o
Well baat yeh hoi thi k i called him by a name which he didin’t like…but he didnt say anything, he just went quite and later on he said i didn’t like wat u said to me and we had an a little argument on this
i said to him I WANTED TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WHERE I CAN SHARE EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING, AND THERE WONT BE ANY LIMITS IN THAT RELATIONSHIP
And he said that line to me and i was shocked…i mean i don’t want to break this relaionship how could he even think like this does he not trust me? does he not think that i trust him and i am willing to ignor all this little arguments
we also had a little argument 2-3 days ago but we sorted it out and even then he said some weired stuff to me and i was really hurt
I don’t know why i have a feeling that he is not happy with what i am offering him…i am really confused why he’s making an issue out f this litle thing
he never did this before
am i wrong to think like this or is there really something going on that i am not aware of?
please give me ur sincere advice. Thanks
yeah he is facing some really hard time in life and i am trying to support him as much as i can .......but i think he is expecting tooo much from me
mai b aik insan ho mujay b khuch bura lag sakta hy but he says DUN EVER GET UPSET WITH ME I CANNOT TOLERATE UR RUDE BEHEAVIOUR
so what am i supposed to do when i dn't like something that he says to me?
he is wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy to much sensitive AND THAT IS THE MAIN PROBLEM :-O
Just an aside though: You can't have a relationship without limits. You can't say just about anything, not if it hurts the other person. And you will learn with time about what he can and can not take. The relationship will succeed if both of you learn to become the people that the other person can live with, without changing yourselves too much. There is definitely tolerance, patience and compassion necessary there.
Sahar02 i did apologise to him but things went further and now he is tawking bwt breaking the relationship
is it normal for a guy to say sumthing like this to her fiance over somthing VERY SMALL
if i break the relationship would he not get hurt? would he not want me to come back OR DOES HE EVEN WANT ME TO DO THIS?
i really don't know why he said this to me but i am hurt :(
TLK i said to him ur luking very cute just like a monkey
and beleive me it was a PURE JOKE.......NOT AN INSULT
he went quite for a bit and then he said tum to mazak mai khuch b keh daite ho kesi din mujay kutta na keh daina
i was shocked........i can never even think like this for him
he SHUD know it was a joke....but thats how he replied to me
there is a clear diffrence between a monkey and a dog and WHY would i even call him a dog?
of fine everyone's nature is different.....he didn't like ma joke but he could av just told me k ainda aisa na kehna mujay acha nahe lagta but he just started arguing and now it has ended like this
do i not have the right to get upset for what he said to me??? this shows how much he trusts me
he thinks i will say anything and everything to him even if its insulting for him :(
It couldn't just be about what you said. You can try talking to him and find out why he got so offended, without you getting angry at him. Try to understand what caused him to overreact.
And no, that is not normal. So, don't let that become a norm.
Honestly, this is less about you and more about him. Don't worry, it is not that he doesn't trust you or doesn't want to be with you or anything. It is clearly something else. So, don't take it personally, ask him what is up with him why he overreacted (listen to him (not obey)!) and then ask him to not make such comments about your feelings about the relationship.
Do you joke around like this a lot? Maybe he kept it to himself for a long time but the monkey comment pushed him over the edge and he let it out.
The thing is, everyone has different pet peeves and hot buttons. Some people can take all kinds of jokes while others only like them to a certain degree. Your fiance might be one of those guys who expects you to respect him and in his eyes...your joke was disrespectful.
Talk to him calmly about this and tell him you dont mean to come across disrespectful. It truly was a joke and it wont happen again. You cant control what offends people. You can only control your reaction to it.
Do you joke around like this a lot? Maybe he kept it to himself for a long time but the monkey comment pushed him over the edge and he let it out.
The thing is, everyone has different pet peeves and hot buttons. Some people can take all kinds of jokes while others only like them to a certain degree. Your fiance might be one of those guys who expects you to respect him and in his eyes...your joke was disrespectful.
Talk to him calmly about this and tell him you dont mean to come across disrespectful. It truly was a joke and it wont happen again. You cant control what offends people. You can only control your reaction to it.
some guys are very insecure and sensitive. If this becomes a habit, where small non-hurtful jokes even bother him...then that a issue you will have to face and deal with (if that is what you want) For now, just don't joke like that, see what happens...if he jokes like that with you, and then gets mad at you when you do it and tries to call off the rishta...then he seems more like an emotionally abusive guy..where they want you to feel bad in order to stay with them...idk...
but maybe for this time, he was just extra touchy b/c you mentioned he's stressed. Joke with your other friends and family..and with him just be careful. but this would bother me too...I would want a husband who I can be myself with, even if sometimes I'm not the greatest person at the moment. You can't expect him or yourself to be an angel every single second. Trick is in accepting that your spouse is capable of making mistakes or being wrong and in a relationship, you can't have unrealistic expectations about each other. Forgiving and moving on is a huge hurdle for some couples.
harmless joking should not be a such a big deal, but forgive his reaction and just make sure not to hurt his feelings later on. If he acts like that with you all the time...then you know he's just being ........
It really depends on the type of relationship with your fiance and the situation he is currently going through... if he is upset or tense about something, he might get offended easily...
but I think monkey might be bit strong for some people... there should always be respect for each other and the extent to which you can joke around will become lenient over the time which I still think should be in limits... Just consider his opinions on the way he puts limits on joking and try to be within those limits... if ur fiance allows u to joke around within certain limit, do so... otherwise be careful...
this kind of relationship is very interesting which is like friendship with a lot of respect on both sides.. anyone might feel bad if u attack them personally... thats what I feel... but he should not talking of breaking the relationship which must definitely be because of some stress or something... relax dear and evolve with your relationship which means revising and changing urself with time of course for the better :)
he is just tired of your behaviour.....the monkey comment triggered all that which he had in him from previous experiences.......its just not only the monkey comment...its the buildup of things....you seriously need to see if it can work out or not.
He expects some respect from you. To him monkey is an ugly animal and he did not like that comment. That should give you some clues as to what kind of jokes and comments sit well with him and which don't.
He has not been open with you about it. Some people are introvert and he seems to be one of them. So talk to him straight about it to sort it out and apologize and everything will be hunky dory .
He expects some respect from you. To him monkey is an ugly animal and he did not like that comment. That should give you some clues as to what kind of jokes and comments sit well with him and which don't.
He has not been open with you about it. Some people are introvert and he seems to be one of them. So talk to him straight about it to sort it out and apologize and everything will be hunky dory .
I agree with this. Plus, calling someone a monkey or saying you look like a monkey is a reallyyyyyyyy childish in my opinion.
He must have something else on his mind that was bothering him and didn't want to put up with childish comments like "you look like a monkey."
I would probably do the same.
Plus, if he's your fiance, you know best what irritates him and what doesnt. Stop calling him that. Period. You can't ever have a relationship without limits. Ya'll have to respect each other
TLK i said to him ur luking very cute just like a monkey and beleive me it was a PURE JOKE.......NOT AN INSULT
Ok in that case it was a joke gone bad. off course it was a cute comment on your behalf and for some reason he took it to his heart. I dont think you should worry about it too much