Am I taking a really extreme step?

[Sara516]

@jaadugar

Alright, I am starting a thread after a long time and this time it’s my personal matter.
I have been married for seven years and have two beautiful children. It was a total arranged marriage (what a joke!) that took place in Pakistan and I barely knew the girl before the marriage. I frequently talked to her on the phone during the time between our engagement and the marriage. Today, I can testify that talking on the phone is no where closer to talking (seeing) in person. I thought I had known her quite a bit before the marriage but I was totally wrong. Even though she had done her masters but she lacked her general knowlege big time. We had totally two different mind sets.
Anyway, I have always thought that things would improve and she would get better with time. She has imroved a bit but not at the rate an average person would have done it. She still spells color as kalar
I added her name into my bank account as a joint owner right after she came to US. I have taken her to vacations at NYC, Canada, Vegas, San Diego, Bahamas, Hawaii, Alaska Cruise etc. She learnt driving fast and I bought her own car right away. As far as I know she was not deprived of anything she wanted to do. Alhamdulillah I am very hard working and am blessed, so money has never been an issue. I let her open a seperate bank account where she could keep her savings even though she doesn’t work at all. I have also bought a house on her name alone (no mertgage) and she collects a decent rent from it. Rent money goes to her personal account. The house we live in is masha Allah big. She has 2 cars for herself including a brand new SUV. She has made two trips 2 Pakistan during past 6 years and went home loaded with gifts for her family.
One big problem she has is getting mad on such trival things and when she gets mad she stops talking to me. That really pisses me off. I try to talk to her but she doesn’t respond. Being a full-time house maker, she stops cooking or doing any other household thing for me.
In the past three weeks, she told me a couple of times that she wanted to go to Pakistan but she had to see whether she could afford tickets or not. I looked at her face and asked why would that be a problem? She said, “I don’t know if you have any money for me or not”? I told her that money would not be a problem so she could go anytime she wanted to. Last Monday, she told me that she was going to go purchase her and kids’ tickets. I said, “but lets discuss first about how long you are going and also whether I should also go with you or not”. That is all… She stopped talking to me, stopped cooking food etc. I must say that I am used to the fact that she always cooked food and served me. I have tried to talk to her a couple of times but no response. I am going bunkers now. She doesn’t listen to anybody from her family either so there is not point in talking to anybody.

I feel like ending this relationship altogether… In fact I have just filled in a petition for legal seperation.

Am I taking a really extreme step? I can’t take it any more though.

It looks like you think money should buy her happiness, and while i dont doubt the importance of being financialy stable, there is so much more to keepnig a couple happy than just money. a dude can provide all the riches and comforts but be a total jerk to the wife (not that i’m saying you are).

Have you spoken to her about her habit of not talking to you and not doing anything? I can understand why you’d e frustrated and annoyed…anyone would be in this situaiton..but you must talk to her first before taking the step of a seperation.

Also, how do you think divorce would help matters? You realize if you divorce, esp in USA, ull probably left with absolutely nothing. not to mention you stand a good chance of losing your children as well…