In my opinion you judged it correctly . Right now you are angry and annoyed . Whenever we are in a situation that bothers us , the very first thing we do is to try to get out of it . Its human nature . But mashaAllah you are very well educated and successful person . You know that decisions in life are connected . One bad decision can lead to another . Future of your daughters is connected with it and also peace of your mind .
In my opinion this is time for patience and taking steps with wisdom . Please keep on trying to communicate with bahbi and inshaAllah she will talk to you . There must be something more to it . Try to discover that . See what is bothering her .
May Allah give you and her patience and wisdom to solve this issue . Ameen.