Am i Right or Wrong??

Lifestyle Relationships
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Cut a **LONG **story short! (Please bear with me )

Basically i couldnt get intouch with my bf, After ringing him for so long. I decided to contact his brother. Which then his brother txtd back saying he has no idea who i am! (Which is a lie he knows who i am as their family have contacted my dad and done a rishta. He also knows we’ve been a item for quite some time too) Anyways i go to him I’m bla bla’s gf, You know who i am!

He then replys back saying how dare you say your my brothers gf, I’m not gonna get him for you your jus one of his gf’s your a kanjari your batameez and bhagarat.

I am absoloutly GOBSMACKED!! i cudnt believe he spoke to me like that. So i then txtd him back saying im gonna tell my uncle. (My uncle and him are best friends btw) (Oh and my brothers bf is no way innocent his wife was his gf and went against her parents wishes to marry him) Anyway…

So i then finally got hold of my bf and told him what happend. He had argument with his brother etc. Then He told his dad what happend and that me and him are actually bf and gf and have been for quite some time. (He didnt kno) His dad said to him i’ve always had my suspicions but i’m happy. He then said i will get him to apologize to her.

My bf then asked his brother to apologize to me. He replied saying ‘’ i’m **NEVER **gonna apologize to her’’

What the hell is up with that?? Whats his problem??

Anyway i wanted to tell my uncle about what happend, bcoz i didnt want my uncle to carry on being friends with him after he disrespected me. My bf told me not to tell him, I have no idea why, So i said ok. So last night i told my bf to get him to apologize, my bf said i’ve asked him b4 and he said he wont, so i’m not gonna bring it up again.

I’m absoloutly fuming, i’m so angry that why didnt he ask him to apologize to me again?? After he cud see how hurt i am abt it. He said stop bringing it up!

Ok so after that i told my uncle everything, I told my bf i told my uncle. He went absoloutly mental with me and he is not talking to me now. I dont even kno if were together or not. My stupidity i’ve rang him a few times but he hasnt answerd.

Now how the hell can he be pissed off about that?? Its about ME not him! He shud be apologising to ME right??? So why is it that HE’S not talking to me?? It doesnt make no sense!!

Now was i right in telling my uncle or not? I feel i was right but i need to know what you lot think, Its driving me crazy. He’s made all this issue about HIM. His brother disrespected ME! and my bf aint talking to ME bcoz i told my uncle what HIS brother said!!

I’m soooo pissed off! What shall i do now? Where shall i go from now?

(Sorry about the long post)…

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Re: Am i Right or Wrong??

Your bf's brother sounds like a prat. I don't think you did the wrong thing by telling your uncle as your bf's brother and he are best friends. Maybe he can knock some sense in to him on how you should respect others.

Do you and your bf's brother have some other underlying issues?

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Re: Am i Right or Wrong??

Okay first of all your bf talked to his brother and his dad for you and now if the brother is not listening to him for watever xyz reason he really can't do much about it. So, you have to atleast give him credit for wat he did and tried to make things clear. Secondly, your boyfrnd couldn't get you (his soon to be wife) to do one thing he asked (not talkin to your uncle) then how do u expect him to get his brother, older i'm assuming, to apologize to you.
I am not suggesting that what his brother was right infact i think it was wrong in every way possible but I can tell you that your bf tried to make things right and you should have let things go after your bf apologized to you and talked to him dad to make things right.

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Re: Am i Right or Wrong??

edited

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Nope no issues with me n him. Never spoke to him in my life.

Queen and CG..!!
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Your old fashion'd

Punjab Rangers begin covert operation in Punjab.
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Hence the 'edit' - didnt think it would be appreciated, so removed.

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I know. But the thing that really trigger'd it for me was, When i brought it up he said dont bring it up. And he's not gonna bring up the issue again. It really made my blood boil. But jus bcoz i've told my uncle, Why wud HE not talk to me? Thats really bugging me.

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:)

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Re: Am i Right or Wrong??

What did your uncle say about the situation?

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I agree with Libran. Your bf talked to his brother but his brother did not want to apologize - that's his brother's problem not your bf's.

Sometimes siblings don't get long very well "socially". If your bf does not see eye to eye with his brother YET if he STILL suggested his brother to apologize - I think that's a BIG deal in itself.

You should not have told your bf second time to MAKE his brother apologize... sorry. I think you went wrong there.

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I agree. In your bf's eyes he did his best (so did his dad) and then asked one thing of you. You went against that so to him, you didn't respect his opinion.

What will have this achieved anyway? This guy is going to be your BIL so do you really expect your Uncle and him can stop being friends or should? Making relationships sour before marriage is really not the best course of action.

Better to let him (brother) be in the wrong and your future husband and future FIL to know he's in the wrong. They would always support you within that family unit.
Now you've made yourself look bad too by making your bf's family look bad in the eyes of your own family (your uncle).

Sometimes you just have to know when to let things go.

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Re: Am i Right or Wrong??

Complicated stuff.

If you two i.e you and yr bf's bro can't solve your issue its not gonna be pretty. Because no matter what at the end of the day he will be your husband's bro and you his bhabhi and if you two are not getting along it is gonna affect your relationship with your husband too. So i dont know what but you need to find a way to get rid of this animosity.

As to whether you did right or wrong....well why didnt u ask yr bf for a valid reason for you not to be telling your uncle? you should have spoken to him about it in detail b4 making the decision to go against his wish.

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I agree completely :k:

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They did get on very well. Infact my bfs brothers wife, used to txt/call my bf ALL the time b4 they got married. even after they got married she used to txt/ call him for stupid things. My bf didnt say anything to her. After all the problems she caused too. And all i did was ask his brother to get my bf and he calls me that?

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Re: Am i Right or Wrong??

rgers a casting for gossip gurl & 90210 desi version bn u shld try out...u r natural at this!

gurl RULE NO.1

DONT NAG TO UR HUSBAND/BOYFRIEND ABOUT HIS FAMILY MEMBERS!!!!

tumney khud apne pao per kulhari mari hai aab dard to hoga!

stop creating drama,even if it means u hv to lick the bros feet in front of ur guy n ***** about him in ur mind..do it!!! otherwise ull always be the ***** n disliked afterall u r the outsider not him..n family cnt b rong!

learn right n learn quick!!!!

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Re: Am i Right or Wrong??

I don't think there is any harm in discussing behaviour of other family members with your husband - but I guess this can only really be done where yourself and your husband have a very understanding and open relationship with each other and you know that what you say will not go beyond the two of you.

Licking the brothers feet is taking it a bit far... just because she's an 'outsider' it doesn't mean she'll always be in the wrong. I would never treat my sister in law in that way because that isn't how I would want/expect to be treated as a sister/daughter in law.

MixedBeauty - just speak with your bf and sort it out with him. It isn't worth the agro its creating.

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rudeeeeeeeeeeee

anyways guess i'll never fit in with the inlaws then coz i'd never do that!!

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Re: Am i Right or Wrong??

^I think you're not wanting to understand. 4 people have said the same thing to you now.

You vented to your bf, that's fine. I vent to my husband about his family and he listens because he knows if I don't vent to him who will I vent to? But they are guys, they will have enough at some point and you need to get the hint.

Further to that, if you marry him, this will be your family. My brother can be an ass but I don't go telling everyone. In the same way, you shouldn't be telling your family unless there is reason. If your bf and his dad didn't stand up for you, then you had reason.

You will have to fit in with the inlaws if you want a marriage with this guy. You will need to be civil to his brother, even if you don't like him. If you aren't prepared to do that, better that you end things coz unless your bf is prepared to leave his family for you, he won't take it.

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Re: Am i Right or Wrong??

gosh i can't believe he would say such horrible things to u. ive texted my bf's brother so many times before when i couldnt get through to my bf and he has always been polite to me. i can imagine how hurt u r feeling right now cos i would be the same if he had responded to me like that.

as for ur bf what more can he do? he's told his dad about it and told his brother to apologise to u and its not really his fault if his brother is a jerk. im assuming he's older than ur bf and he probably doesnt like being told what to do by someone younger than him. i dont think u did the right thing by telling ur uncle because now another person has been dragged into it and it could make the situation worse. i agree with stoppit when she said that ur future family would have supported u because they know ur bf's brother is in the wrong.

if i were u i'd call up bf and tell him that ur sorry and it was wrong of u to tell ur uncle. i think u should also tell ur bf that next time if his brother says anything bad towards u that he should make it clear and tell him again that he does not appreciate anyone including his family speaking in this way about his future wife and he should respect u just the same as ur bf respects his bhabi.

btw ru gonna be living in the same house as ur future BIL after marriage?