Re: Am I missing out on my 'fun years' ?
mmmm, A lot of different opinions to dwell on : )
Re: Am I missing out on my 'fun years' ?
Salam. Dude, I was in the same position as you and probably still am. After high school where I had a lot of friends, I came to realise that most of my so called 'friends' started drifting away from me. They would not reply properly and not bother to meet up, long story short, I ended up losing quite a lot of friends as they did not act like a friend. After high school during my 1st year at Uni, I hardly interacted with my friends as we were all busy with uni and exams and assignments etc etc so there wasn't ever enough time.... after my first year I truly realised who my true friends were: like 2/3. So when holidays rolled around I found myself in a position where I had so much free time (friends had gotten less) that I just used to think about the good times and become depressed. My hair started falling out with stress. When I used to go around shopping by myself or with my mum or someone I used to become very sad and feel so sorry for myself, when I used to see people hanging around as groups of friends having a fun time etc etc and because my friends were such flakes (always cancelling etc) I never had this. So I started to think, people have so much fun at uni etc etc and here I am, with hardly any friends and a sad pathetic life. But however after moping around for a year I decided enough was enough. I was going to become stronger. My life should not depend on other people. My happiness is down to me. So I decided to get a job to network and make more friends and throw myself into my studies so that I could get a good degree, using it as something to work towards. Graduation rolled around and I obtained the highest in my entire Uni. As for friends, the close types that I wanted, they just happened naturally as life went on, sometimes you have to have patience rather then going out and getting it. So although you may be having difficulties now, life goes on it will just happen naturally. Don't dwell too much on what you haven't have a waste a year like me :/ Instead do something productive. Sorry for the long reply, I just identified too much to this post. Hope it helps and good luck! :)
WOW dude, i can really relate to you, I never had a lot of friends but the two that I had slowly pushed me away too. I used to go to gym with gym and then slowly, they stopped replying all together. And now, I have become content with being alone, so much so, sometimes, I think I don't really need friends. I don't know if you feel the same.... : )
Re: Am I missing out on my 'fun years' ?
bitter much?
kya hua beta, tell aunty sweets all about it. did she leave you for a hotter guy? :(
Assume much? No body left me... :'(
Re: Am I missing out on my ‘fun years’ ?
oh, the irony 
Re: Am I missing out on my ‘fun years’ ?
One of my pet peeves is that i can’t stand the shy type, we could never be friends. :evil:
Re: Am I missing out on my 'fun years' ?
Hello/ Salam Guys, I have been reading a lot of threads on this forum and had a question of my own since many of you seem to be experienced and offer fairly good advise (apart from some of you jokers lol). Anyways, I am 20 years old living in U.S. I go to college and work full time to support myself (I live with parents, but I don't let them pay my bills). Anyways, My question is am I missing out on my fun years of college since I don't have a Girlfriend or for that matter any friends? I am fairly introverted and shy, and whatever time I have left after working or studying i spend in the gym, but sometimes this takes a toll on me when I see other kids my age hanging out with friends or their girlfriends, but to combat this I have this false sense of assurance where I tell myself, :don't worry, after you graduate you'll have plenty of time to make friends or find a girlfriend lol. Am i right on this logic or is it just a way to make myself feel good temporarily?
Teenage/college life is fun in it self dont relate it with having a girlfriend.If you are avoiding to have a girlfriend in order to have more fun once you graduate thn stop doing it, you have greediness involve in your plans, that will not take you in anywhere.Keep yourself clean for the purpose of Allah SWT, that would def. benefit you in a long run.
Having girlfriends doesnt make you a man, IT HAS NOTHING to do with masculine.
Re: Am I missing out on my 'fun years' ?
Yeah, I'll jump in too and say that not having a girlfriend is an admirable quality as it is an Islamically commendable aspect of life to avoid such things.
Not having friends, though, is more worrying. College is a much easier time to make friends than afterwards. Once you get into working life it becomes harder to meet a broad enough group of people to select which ones will be your friends.
Re: Am I missing out on my ‘fun years’ ?
Tu Rehn dey*
Re: Am I missing out on my 'fun years' ?
OP - I can relate to this. Alhamdulillah, I was blessed with a good group of friends - my bffs are still the ones I was close with from high school. Sometimes, it can be harder to make friends in college. My uni is huge, as are my classes in my program. I actually made more friends through my part-time jobs and student clubs on campus than classes. Stay involved and always work to grow professionally but don't put so much pressure on yourself. See if you can work part-time. That might make it a bit easier on you and give you more free time to socialize.
I'm also 20, starting senior year now and I also think I wasted the first three years as I was always too busy studying and doing internships and working (same as you, didn't want to burden parents) instead of partying or meeting people. But I have no regrets. I was able to make a few good friends in that time span as opposed to meeting 100 new people that I don't care about. Don't try to force it - pursue your passion and hobbies/interests and you will meet like minded people along the way. You still have a lot of time to make good friends and meet someone so don't stress. Life doesn't stop being fun just cause we graduate! :P
Re: Am I missing out on my 'fun years' ?
You are missing out on a lot. Having gf's, flings, dating, hooking up etc is the spice of life. Dont let anyone tell you that "Its not important and it doesn't make you a man" You know you're gut feeling tells you that its an important aspect of life.
You know you don't want to end up like the 29 yr old Pakistani virgin who imports a bride from Pakistan because he is worthless in the dating & sexual marketplace abroad. You know you want validation as a sexual being and marriage (the Pakistani arranged version of it anyway) doesn't provide you any of that.
However your success with women will depend upon your looks. If you're not good looking then this fun stuff is not for you. You might as well rationalize away like others.