a guy at work has quite a dry sense of humor and i laugh along with all of his jokes even if some tend to be a bit hurtful
but i feel like he speaks without thinking sometimes like when another woman said that she worked in a school where a few kids had south asian names, the names were muslim and when she asked me “what kind of name does it sound like, is it pakistani?” this guy that i’m speaking of says “it sounds terroristic” i guess he was trying to constantly be funny but
i just feel like there is a limit to be ‘funny’
i do laugh at his jokes all the time, this is the first time he’s made a racist offensive joke he says that he got the quote from the show “family guy”
he’s shown how much he dislikes hispanics, that whenever he speaks to a client that has a strong hispanic accent or someone that can’t speak english well, he kind of asks me to speak with them.
am i just being too sensitive? probably right?
edit: had to edit this first post because for some reason people tend not to read the following posts by me in this thread
There is a thin line between being funny and being offensive. He is certainly being the latter hence you are justified in feeling that. Had i been in your place i would have def shut him up for making such jibes esp about my country!
where do you work? in US..in most companies what he is doing can be grounds for discipline.
but you have to let him know that you do not find it amusing, but offensive.
whats he going to do? be hurt, star calling you sensitive or spoil sport?
what else..?
i never really got angry with him b/c i’m working on being less sensitive and taking things lightly when people joke around with me but i really didn’t get angry at him, confrontation is hard for me. i tried to be funny back and since he has german heritage and when i came across a german name on the news, I kind of gave him a taste of his own medicine, like the name sounds Nazi-ish is what i said to him “ha ha ha”…at work we want to try to get along with everybody so the work day goes smoothly
i hated doing that but i hope he got the clue i don’t like racist comments and knowing him, i still think the message didn’t get through
yes i am living in the States but i guess it also depends on what part of the United states we live in. It is diverse here and there are loads of south asians here but it’s first generation
GG, is your own laughter possibly a nervous reaction? Some people laugh in awkward situations not because they find it funny, but as a nervous habit.
If this guy isn't even a superior, why be worried about it? When you laugh at his jokes....he sees that as encouragement. So, to an extent, you're fueling the problem. Just don't laugh. Try it. Take it a step further and roll your eyes at him...to show him it's not funny. What's he going to do? Complain to the higher ups that he failed to make you laugh? I highly doubt that. Even if you were to matter-of-factly tell him "I'm Pakistani and a Muslim and I find that comment immature and offensive." Even then...what is he really gonna do? I bet you anything that if someone had made less than positive remarks about his country/religion....he won't stand for it...he'd fire back with some remark or the other. If you can't tell him that you think he's rude...then the LEAST you can do is stop laughing.
redvelvet and all others the terroristic comment was the first time he made a racist offensive(to me) joke, i didn't laugh at that one, I ignored him and made the nazi comment so it was more of a childish tit for tat situation. the other 50 something woman that i work with laughed along when he said the terroristic comment, when they said something that had offended me before, i did get angry and made it clear that i was offended and i did object to it because i felt he went too far, it's a small group of people so word got around that i was "sensitive" about it
when it comes to humor sometimes that fine line is hard to define. I want to get along with everybody at work, when i did get angry i felt so uncomfortable after that with everybody that i work with, as you can tell i'm the only brown person working there. everybody else is white and there's just one black woman but she can kick anybody's a-s-s that offends her the slightest bit.
the ass that made all these comments is someone that has a speech impediment so he stutters and everybody treats him like he's disabled. he's also the boss's friend's son so he gets treated special, disabled or not, a huge stutterer or not, he's an ass.
so anybody here would get offended with that comment just like me?
when I told the 50 something woman that he had offended me by saying terroristic to a pakistani sounding name and he better stop or he'd get punched in the face by someone that isn't so polite, she said that her friend mohammad would find his comment funny.......I really didn't buy what she said but she seemed certain that it wasnt offensive.
ok well looked up the name on the internet because i wasn't sure myself what type of name it was, it ended up being indian hindu but when she asked whether it was pakistani and then he made this comment, it's obvious that most whites or blacks have no idea what is hindu or muslim or pakistani or indian or middle eastern, they are ignorant to the umpteenth degree
so i did get up the courage and told him over the phone this evening that the terroristic comment was offensive to me regardless of whether the name was pakistani or indian,it's not funny in the least. he did stutter but i kept strong and i'm glad i told him in private because the women in that office are such gossips
if a similar comment or "joke" is made again i will report it, i'm getting stronger now and confrontation won't be hard,especially when it's standing up to do something that would make my work environment better :)
GlobalGal, somewhere on the internet that guy might be asking people that a girl always laughs at racist jokes, is she a racist? The point is if you laugh at the jokes it means you are encouraging them.
What happens with people who flirt with that professional boundary is that eventually someone calls them out on it. There will be someone he comes across in his work place that will have him walked out and until that day comes...he will not learn his lesson.
I worked with a guy like that once and for a while I also thought I might be the sensitive one but I know I am not. He made some comments along the same lines but took it one step further. I thought about it for a day and then went to my HR Department. Someone else found out that I went (office gossip!) and the next day over 30 people followed suit. He was fired.
If you work in a diverse environment, this should not be happening. I have zero tolerance for this type of BS so apologies if I come across annoyed. This is all very basic, common sense, workplace etiquette. Nothing too difficult to grasp or understand. If he is old enough to hold down a job, he is definitely old enough to control his mouth.
I think the minimum you should do is give him an idea that his jokes are not funny. Just pull him to the side and have a friendly chat. But you do need to make a move of some sort because IF you don't...this will continue.
…at work we want to try to get along with everybody so the work day goes smoothly
i don’t like racist comments and knowing him, i still think the message didn’t get through