My granddad is quite old and he has now started to suffer from memory loss. I just cant handle this right :( I dont know what to say or do when he doesn t recognize me or remember something. I just feel like crying every time. I know he cant do anything about it or even doctors cant. But I cant even explain that feeling when someone who you love and who you have known whole your life does not recognize you anymore, it hurts so much. He has sometimes these moments when he forgets, but sometimes he is “normal” and remembers almost everything. Im just afraid that he will soon forget everything because he gets now memory loses more often than few months ago. And the hardest thing was to see my granny upset when my granddad said to her “I have to call and ask from my wife” after she asked from him that should they go for few days holiday to my aunts (who lives in different city). I have never seen her like that. I cant even imagine how hard it is. They have been married 54 years now.
I feel like avoiding going there because Im afraid that he won`t recognize me anymore and I hate myself for even thinking to avoid going there. Because if I dont go, I will regret it rest of my life. I just have never been in situation like this, and its just so hard for me because my grandparents means to world to me and I just dont know how to act normal when I see my granddad and he doesn’t remember anything and is like another person.
Have anyone else been situation like this? Do you have some advises, how to handle situation like this?
We do not stop loving those who we have love ever since we remember. We care for them even more with a big heart and a strong mind.
Even if you have to remind him everyday how much you love him, so be it.
That`s beautifully said. And thank you for ur words, because those gave me something to thought. And I know my thinking is wrong, but it is just hard to see when someone who you love gets sicks and you know there is no cure so this evening just everything kinda fell apart. But really thank you :)
When my grandmother was alive, I never thought how would my life/world be without her. Today when I think about her sometimes, I only wish I could have cared for her and loved her more day and night. She used to asked to sleep beside her when I was a kid, she used to put her hand on my shoulder. Sometimes I used to say no. These kind of things weaken even the strongest of us.
Do whatever you can for him, for however long you can. You will so miss him when he will not be around.
But truth will be always be, you loved him fiercely.
Well may Allah help your Grandfather and give sabr to ya're family. We should remember that someday Allah na karay when we are old..we might be like that too. My nani gone through exactly what your grandfather is going through. And ya know..when my nani would forget us..i would still remind her.."nani jan..i know you're going through alot..when you forget..we want to be your strength." And would always pray for you and remind of us. She passed away couple of years ago after long sickness and suffering. May Allah help those in need.
I remember once meeting this family whose grandmother had this disease and i just felt so sad for them so i can feel and understand how someone dealing this in their own family would feel. I wish you strength to cope with this situation and just get a grip on your emotions and don't let anything hold back you spending more time with him and expressing your love for him.
When my grandmother was alive, I never thought how would my life/world be without her. Today when I think about her sometimes, I only wish I could have cared for her and loved her more day and night. She used to asked to sleep beside her when I was a kid, she used to put her hand on my shoulder. Sometimes I used to say no. These kind of things weaken even the strongest of us.
Do whatever you can for him, for however long you can. You will so miss him when he will not be around.
But truth will be always be, you loved him so much.
Im so sorry about ur grandmother. My dadhi passed away few years ago, and it was really toughest time in my life. She passed away so suddenly that I didnt even had time to realize that. Everything happened so quickly and I will always regret that I didnt spend that much time with her and really after she passed away I realized how much I love her and how much I miss her. That will bother me rest of my life. But Im really grateful that I was there when she passed away.
So now Im really scared that everything happens again.
But like u said I will try to do everything what I can do and be there. And I should change my thinking to positive way and live in the moment, that's just bit hard for me.
Well may Allah help your Grandfather and give sabr to ya're family. We should remember that someday Allah na karay when we are old..we might be like that too. My nani gone through exactly what your grandfather is going through. And ya know..when my nani would forget us..i would still remind her.."nani jan..i know you're going through alot..when you forget..we want to be your strength." And would always pray for you and remind of us. She passed away couple of years ago after long sickness and suffering. May Allah help those in need.
Im so sorry about ur Nani :( Its hard when someone who u love is taken away. This is just so hard, like I dont know how to feel or react. And my granddad sometimes gets bit mad when someone reminds him about something, but I guess it is normal?
STA bro, although I am 20 something years old, lolss. I strongly believe in doing things right within the right time. We do make mistakes, and are not perfect, but to strive to work for betterment is every aspect of life is the real essence of life, don't you think so?
may Allah raise the status of your grandmothers/uncle Aameen
My uncle died recently after suffering form this disease for over 5 years. it was terrible as he was not able to recognise anyone towards the end.
Im sorry about ur uncle :( Im so afraid of that. I dont know how I can handle that situation when it comes. Even thinking about it makes me cry. Praying is maybe only thing now what gives me strength. I just hope that I find away how to control and handle my emotions.
STA bro, although I am 20 something years old, lolss. I strongly believe in doing things right within the right time. We do make mistakes, and are not perfect, but to strive to work for betterment is every aspect of life is the real essence of life, don't you think so?
Currently going through the same thing with one of my khalas and my dada.
There is nothing you can do except be there for your grandmother (and of course, your parents). Always remember you're not alone. Even though it's difficult...spend as much time as you can with your grandfather. Make sure you grandmother has as much support as you can give (physically and emotionally). If its this hard for you...just try to imagine how she must feel. :(
And also, please do not hide emotions. All the feelings of frustration, hurt, anger etc......talk about how you feel with your grandmother and parents....and encourage them to talk about theirs. Bottling up all the emotions only make the situation worse.
See if there are support groups for families who're dealing with this in your area. Believe me....talking to others in real life...and seeing with your own eyes that you're not alone makes a difference. And if there are support groups in your area....encourage your grandmother (and parents) to join them too.
Im sorry about ur uncle :( Im so afraid of that. I dont know how I can handle that situation when it comes. Even thinking about it makes me cry. Praying is maybe only thing now what gives me strength. I just hope that I find away how to control and handle my emotions.
stay strong, Allah will give you strength, Inshallah
my grandmother (nani) had same issue, wht nothing changed though she didnt recognized anyone but if you show them love n respect they respond you, nothing is in control you just need to lovem n take care of them.
i remember when my mamu died, she even didnt knew tht his son died, i still remmber her words"kiss ko shohar faut hua hai mujhe bato mei afsoos karu: she didnt realized he is his own son, somewht it was a blessing his disguise.
unfortunately she died last december,n the next day my dadi died, my dadi n nani were best friends thts how my parents got married, but my parents both lost their mothers at the same time n they were all alone me n bro both outside of country, but all this just makes u strong n reminds in the end u everyone has to go sooner or later.
just love ur grandmum , take care of her n pray for her :)
Currently going through the same thing with one of my khalas and my dada.
There is nothing you can do except be there for your grandmother (and of course, your parents). Always remember you're not alone. Even though it's difficult...spend as much time as you can with your grandfather. Make sure you grandmother has as much support as you can give (physically and emotionally). If its this hard for you...just try to imagine how she must feel. :(
And also, please do not hide emotions. All the feelings of frustration, hurt, anger etc......talk about how you feel with your grandmother and parents....and encourage them to talk about theirs. Bottling up all the emotions only make the situation worse.
See if there are support groups for families who're dealing with this in your area. Believe me....talking to others in real life...and seeing with your own eyes that you're not alone makes a difference. And if there are support groups in your area....encourage your grandmother (and parents) to join them too.
I know, always when I think how my grandmother feels, it feels wrong that Im just whining about this because even she gets upset and sad, front of my granddad she is always smiling and acting normal. She never brakes down front of him and that make me feel bad because I should be strong too.
Im really bad talking about my emotions. That`s why I think its easier to write things up, that makes me feel "easier". I know I should talk about it, but I just cant because I always cry if I talk something about this and I just dont want to cry. And even I know Im bottling up all the emotions, I still do it. And I feel like everyone else is handling this so well, that Im gonna just depress all with my problem and its wrong. But yeah I know I should talk with someone.
lolss