salam
inshallah ill be a pakistani bride in 2010…as far as i came to know abt all marriage proccess there i know there is mehndi..barat…rukhsati…mayoun…valima…
but yet i dont know much abt them & how these function r going on & wats detials abt them…as i dont know wats diffrent between mayoun & mehndi or rukhsati & barat…
ill be thankfull to u to describe clearly for me…wish to know more abt there
waiting to hear from u…as more as experince ill be happy more
First of all, lets get them in the right order:
Mayoun is, in my opinion, just pointless! I moved to Ireland about a decade ago and back then there was no mayoun, atleast we never attended a wedding that had a day of mayoun. It only came into play over the last few years. Mayoun is the day where u may or may not invite some guests and when u put UBTAN on the bride. Ubtan is a paste made from gram flour, turmeric powder, milk and god-knows-what, and all the close relatives/friends or guests (if u invited any) put this ubtan on the bride. Its supposed to bring a glow to the bride's skin! See why I think its pointless? Why dedicate a full day's ceremony towards this? Besides, your skin is NOT going to glow with just one day's treatment. It takes a healthy diet, lots of water and daily skin treatments to get that perfect skin. I would eliminate this day of mayoun from my list if I was you, unless your family really wants it.
For the rest of the functions, please read up on "Marriage in Pakistan" in WIKIPEDIA. It explains everything quite well. And there's many more articles available on the internet explaining these ceremonies so just google them.
In summary, Mehendi is when u put henna on the bride's hands. Only close friends and relatives are invited. Traditionally, mehendi for the bride and the groom were held separately in their own houses, but now people have started doing it together.
Baraat and Rukhsati happen on the same day. Baraat is the actually wedding day. Thats when the groom and his relatives are going to come to your house with "band baja", the nikah ceremony will take place, and u will be pronounced husband and wife, and then there will be photoshoots, food, music etc. And then the groom takes u away to his house i.e. rukhsati.
Valima is a reception from the groom's sides. This time, your relatives are going to come over to the groom's place.
Sorry, if I confused u even more. Have a look at Wikipedia, it explains it very well.
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Mayoun is, in my opinion, just pointless! I moved to Ireland about a decade ago and back then there was no mayoun, atleast we never attended a wedding that had a day of mayoun. It only came into play over the last few years.
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That is completely incorrect. Mayoun/Manjha ceremonies existed long before you were born, and definitely were still "in play" a decade ago. Traditionally, the Mayoun was two or three weeks before the wedding, on which the groom's family would send a plain yellow jora and trays of ubtan, mehndi, perfume, sandalwood oil, surma, glass bangles (known as "suhaagpura") to the bride. This was supposed to mark the beginning of the wedding festivities...and after that day, the bride would only wear that one yellow dress and go into seclusion, and receive nightly beauty treatments with the uptan and all those other things. The whole process was called "mayoun baithna." People don't have time to sit mayoun for 3 weeks, so now they just have it for 1 evening.
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See why I think its pointless? Why dedicate a full day's ceremony towards this?
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On that same token, why dedicate a full night's ceremony to smearing some mehndi on a paan leaf? Why dedicate a full night's ceremony to having the groom's family host an entire second wedding reception? They all seem kinda pointless when you break it down like that.
Re: all abt pakistanies wedding
^janab-e-ali, whilst mayoun ceremonies have existed for a long time, i think it's true to say for many pakistani families it was not part of their tradition. until this generation, no one in my family had a mayoun ceremony and the same in my extended family who have different traditions based on their ancestry.
it would be interesting to know in what parts of pakistan or people's the mayoun has existed as far back as they can remember.
Re: all abt pakistanies wedding
as far as i know, urdu speaking karachi families do mayoun. in which the bride is essentially treated like a princess. she isn't allowed to do any chores, or step out of the house, or anything. it's called "mayon baithna". also, from a friend, the bride can't even take a shower while she is in mayon :D
it isn't a tradition in punjabi weddings, it's just a new thing. ubtan and mayon are now combined together to make 1 function, whereas ubtan was supposed to be a different function from mehndi and mayon.
Re: all abt pakistanies wedding
^ahh, cool. yea, that's probably why then. our family and most of extended relations are punjabi. and yea as you said, it's a new thing in punjabi weddings and they usually combine ubtan and mayoun, although i think one of my cousins did both (i only went to the mehndi :p).
Re: all abt pakistanies wedding
hannnnnnnn girls...
so my sis in law said mayoun is same as mehndi :P
so now im thinking pakistan cities r so diffrent & cultures then....
but main new thing for me is that one day wedding held by girl one day from boy side...
here we do one wedding all by groom!!!!
Ok , point noted, mayoun has been in existence for a long time but only became popular in the last decade or so.
I still think Mayoun and Mehendi is pointless.
[QUOTE]
First of all, lets get them in the right order:
Mayoun is, in my opinion, just pointless! I moved to Ireland about a decade ago and back then there was no mayoun, atleast we never attended a wedding that had a day of mayoun. It only came into play over the last few years. Mayoun is the day where u may or may not invite some guests and when u put UBTAN on the bride. Ubtan is a paste made from gram flour, turmeric powder, milk and god-knows-what, and all the close relatives/friends or guests (if u invited any) put this ubtan on the bride. Its supposed to bring a glow to the bride's skin! See why I think its pointless? Why dedicate a full day's ceremony towards this? Besides, your skin is NOT going to glow with just one day's treatment. It takes a healthy diet, lots of water and daily skin treatments to get that perfect skin. I would eliminate this day of mayoun from my list if I was you, unless your family really wants it.
For the rest of the functions, please read up on "Marriage in Pakistan" in WIKIPEDIA. It explains everything quite well. And there's many more articles available on the internet explaining these ceremonies so just google them.
In summary, Mehendi is when u put henna on the bride's hands. Only close friends and relatives are invited. Traditionally, mehendi for the bride and the groom were held separately in their own houses, but now people have started doing it together.
Baraat and Rukhsati happen on the same day. Baraat is the actually wedding day. Thats when the groom and his relatives are going to come to your house with "band baja", the nikah ceremony will take place, and u will be pronounced husband and wife, and then there will be photoshoots, food, music etc. And then the groom takes u away to his house i.e. rukhsati.
Valima is a reception from the groom's sides. This time, your relatives are going to come over to the groom's place.
Sorry, if I confused u even more. Have a look at Wikipedia, it explains it very well.
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OMG ur from ireland???? finally someone else.....u in dublin? :D
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I still think Mayoun and Mehendi is pointless.
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so really in that case, you shouldn't be having a baraat either- a nikah in the morning and the valima in the evening should suffice, no?
mayyoun baithna is a part of my family's traditions- yes these days no one has time to do it for a week, which is a shame IMHO, because i remember when my youngest phuppo got married in pakistan, she had the nightly ubtan treatments and the maalish lady would come and do it for her- imagine having your own personal masseuse for a whole week! she was totally spoiled in that time and loved it! and why not, you only get married once- it was a beautifying process for her and relaxation too before the hecticness that is a desi wedding.
Re: All about Pakistani wedding
Re: mayyouns, its a part of most families...punjabi or not i'm not sure but all the weddings i have seen hav mayyouns..i did.. all the mayouns i saw were done at home, with close family and friends..thats it. thse days i am seeing them done in halls, with the bride dressed up, dancing, music, food, etc. just like a bridal reception. Thats what i find kind of weird (because then tehy have a mehndi too...)
butyes mayoun is done..
**OMG ur from ireland???? finally someone else.....u in dublin? **
Nope, I'm in Limerick.
***so really in that case, you shouldn't be having a baraat either- a nikah in the morning and the valima in the evening should suffice, no?
mayyoun baithna is a part of my family's traditions- yes these days no one has time to do it for a week, which is a shame IMHO, because i remember when my youngest phuppo got married in pakistan, she had the nightly ubtan treatments and the maalish lady would come and do it for her- imagine having your own personal masseuse for a whole week! she was totally spoiled in that time and loved it! and why not, you only get married once- it was a beautifying process for her and relaxation too before the hecticness that is a desi wedding.***
By baraat day I meant the nikah ceremony, groom comes to take the bride away etc. Can't leave that out can we? Well baraat day is organised by the bride's family and only the bride's relatives are invited (only 20-30 of groom's relatives come to baraat) and Valima is organised by the groom's family and only the groom's relatives are invited, only the immediate family members of the bride attend the valima.
So one thing which can be done, as u said, is to combine the two days into one. Organise one day of reception, invite both the groom's relatives and the bride's relatives to one venue. Both families can share the expenses.
So I can leave out mayoun, mehendi etc but I would consider it important to have atleast one day of reception where I can invite all relatives to be a part of our happiness.
so really in that case, you shouldn't be having a baraat either- a nikah in the morning and the valima in the evening should suffice, no?
you would still have a baraat as the groom would still come with his relatives for the nikkah ceremony. there is no reason to do the walima in the evening unless you want to invite more people than attended the nikkah. but a dinner feast immediately after the nikkah will suffice as walima.
Re: All about Pakistani wedding
is there any other idea abt difrences of customs????
Re: All about Pakistani wedding
I love Mayoon functions, maybe coz im a wedding planner :P but i think wedding is a once in a life time event for most of us and you need to enjoy it to the max!
even if that means having a silly tradition and make a party out of it and have ur fav girlies over...why not
Ofcourse you dont have to have a lavish one...just a small gathering at home wud be great....
depends on how much you can afford :)