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A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he’d found a cat, but it was dead.
How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil.
“Because I pissed in its ear and it didn’t move,” answered the child innocently.
You did WHAT? ! ?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise.
"You know, "explained the boy, “I leaned over and went ‘Pssst!’
and it didn’t move.” -
An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief,
finally asked him “How do you expect to get into Heaven?”
The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I’ll run in and out and
in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, ‘For
Heaven’s sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!’
3, When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year
old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get
into the shower. She said, “Mommy, you are getting fat!”
I replied, “Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy.”
“I know,” she replied, "but what’s growing in your butt
4, One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to
her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken
Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, "… and so Chicken Little went
up to the farmer and said, “The sky is falling, the sky is falling!”
The teacher paused then asked the class, “And what do you think that farmer said?”
One little girl raised her hand and said, “I think he said: ‘Holy $hit!
A talking chicken!’”
@ 3 & 4