Bush Blames
Terrorists For Katrina
By Jim Moore
8-31-5
The tragedy of 9/11, whether a totally unexpected event, or some pre-planned, conspiratorial action (as some investigators suggest) was used as justification for President Bush’s attack on Iraq.
Since that time, the war has not been going too well. More of our troops are being killed daily. Thousands of Iraqi citizens are dying from “collateral” fire. The Iraq constitution is on its way to becoming a bust. Bush’s approval rating on his handling of the war has tanked. And the whole administration is getting collectively sweaty under the armpits.
The talk is that something as drastic as another 9/11 may be needed to get America’s mind off where to go on vacation with gas at $3.00 a gallon, and back on how to kill more terrorists, where it belongs. We could use another tragedy, is the quiet cry from the White Housetop which some of us suspect is happening, but no one ever gets to hear.
Then, along came Hurricane Katrina and the problem was solved. Killer hurricanes, like the one that inundated New Orleans, and other kinds of deadly storms, are rightly called natural disasters. Which means that nobody thinks of them as “man-made” catastrophes. That’s why the idea that Katrina might have been an “unnatural” disaster, perhaps a second terrorist attack on America, is absurd.
Too bad, because if the American public had known about a secret meeting in the Oval Office a month before Katrina bore down on the Big Easy, we would have a nation in revolt.
The meeting, attended by Karl Rove, Donald Rumsfeld, President George Bush, and nuclear scientist Dr. Harold Shuberger must have gone something like this:
BUSH: Are you telling us, Dr. Shuberger, that it’s now possible to steer a killer hurricane to the exact spot you want it to go?
SHU: With our new Atmosphonic Nuclide Ray Vehicle (ANRV), we can pinpoint a storm and put it down right on main street, U.S.A.
RUMSFELD: That’s fantastic! You can actually do that?
SHU: If I said we could, we can.
RUMSFELD: Good god, that’s better than we can do with bombs!
ROVE: Ah! You know what this means, Mr. President?
BUSH: No, Karl, but I’m sure you’ll tell us.
ROVE: It’s an answer to our prayer!
BUSH: Oh, I like that. Uh, what prayer?
ROVE: Pardon me, sir, but with your approval rating on a slide, we need another “event” to create renewed interest in the war on terror.
RUMSFELD: We don’t use “war on terror” anymore, Karl.
BUSH: Dr. Shuberger, just how does the Atmosphonic Nuclide Ray Vehicle work?
SHU: Sorry, sir, but I doubt if anyone in this room, but myself, can really understand the process. But I guarantee you this, Mr. President, the Ray Vehicle itself is 100% fool proof.
ROVE: That’s just what we need to get the public’s mind back on Iraq, where it belongs.
RUMSFELD: But this is fantasy, Mr. President. I’m in favor of ten thousand more boots on the ground, and salvos of massive bombing.
ROVE: Nuts! Look where that’s gotten us so far.
BUSH: How do we begin, professor?
SHU: Simple. We wait until a tropic wave leaves the African coast, then we track it with the Ray across the ocean. When it builds to a hurricane and gets on the designated target, we release the Vehicle, the storm automatically intensifies, and destroys anything in its path.
BUSH: I like it. Gentlemen, which city should be our target?
RUMSFELD: Nowhere near Key West. I got a house down there.
BUSH: Also, not close to the Texas coastline, or anywhere in Texas for that matter.
ROVE: Take your pick. Some city where there’ll be plenty of water and wind damage and lots of casualties. Then we can blame it on those damn terrorists again. We’ve got to get back into this war.
BUSH: I agree. Anyone for lunch?