Aik Chotee Se Arzi.............

SJ · September 19, 2007, 7:38am

Tum mujh ko ik din chaho gay

Ye baat hala’nkay Farzi hai

Par toor k Ik nazuk dil ko

Yun jeena bhi khud gharzi hai

Chalo Aoo Aisa kartay hain…

ya mujh ko Qail kar lo tum

Ya meray Qail ho jao

Mujhay khud mein basa lo

ya phir tum

Maree Zaat mein shamil ho jao

teray dil k chokhat pay Humdum

maree ye chootee se arzee hai

tu rud karay,Manzoor karay

Ab agay taree Marzi hai

redidentity · September 19, 2007, 7:43am

Re: Aik Chotee Se Arzi…

Amazing.. aisay mazameen kahaan se atay hain demagh main.. its really very sweet thought.. very beautiful poem.. n very well presented..

SJ · September 19, 2007, 7:44am

Re: Aik Chotee Se Arzi…

yaar khali demagh hota hai…kuch na kuch aa k bus he jata hai…
waisee jahan Arzee bhayjee thee…wahan say rud ho ge:teary2:

redidentity · September 19, 2007, 7:47am

Re: Aik Chotee Se Arzi…

kaheen aur try ker lo.. em sure k it will be accepted..

i know k person having U will be very lucky.. n lucky to sab ban’na chahtay haina..

dil chhota nahi kertay.. khush rehna chaheay

samjhay.. abb paali shi billi ban k dekhao

SJ · September 19, 2007, 7:49am

Re: Aik Chotee Se Arzi…

jeey looooo…

yaar try kahan karni hai…
qismat k meharbaan honay ka wait kar rahee hon:)

Shumaisa · September 19, 2007, 7:55am

Re: Aik Chotee Se Arzi…

woww.. zabardasstt sonia..

SJ · September 19, 2007, 7:57am

Re: Aik Chotee Se Arzi…

Parhee bhi hai ya nahin:)
agar parhee hai tu thanks:)

tum_bin_1 · September 19, 2007, 8:40am

Re: Aik Chotee Se Arzi.............

Very Nice :)

GuL-e-Tasbeeh · September 19, 2007, 10:14am

Re: Aik Chotee Se Arzi.............

Very well written sonia ,yoonhi likhti rahiye aur share karti rahiye:-)

AQ · September 19, 2007, 10:17am

Re: Aik Chotee Se Arzi.............

beautiful poem...

though I feel the word "table" in the following sher should be replaced by an appropriate word:

teray dil k table pay Humdum
maree ye chootee se arzee hai

may be:

teray dil k dar par humdum

I know why you are using "table" and the connotation but for some reason I feel it can have a better replacement

PS: please, do not mind my rant ... ignore it :o

SJ · September 19, 2007, 11:39am

Re: Aik Chotee Se Arzi.............

nahin AQ bhai mind karnay wali koi baat nahin................
mujhay guidience ki zarorat rahtee hai.......kyun k mein perfect writer nahin hon................:)
app ka idea pasand aayaa:)

SJ · September 19, 2007, 11:47am

Re: Aik Chotee Se Arzi.............

ab batain AQ bhai..............theek lag raha hai??????????

GuL-e-Tasbeeh · September 19, 2007, 12:59pm

Re: Aik Chotee Se Arzi.............

teray dil k table pay Humdum
maree ye chootee se arzee hai

I think word table use karney sey peom meiN masoomiyat ki jhalak nazar aati hey, mujhey lafz table acha lag raha hey :~) baaqi i am not a poet, you guys know better:-)

deadsoul · September 19, 2007, 7:19pm

Re: Aik Chotee Se Arzi.............

beautiful
amazing
zabardast
sonia buhat he achay

chacha_Ghalib · September 19, 2007, 7:25pm

Re: Aik Chotee Se Arzi…

wah wah… kaya baat hai
kaya rawanagi hai. bohat achay :k:

SJ · September 20, 2007, 12:11pm

Re: Aik Chotee Se Arzi.............

Thanks Deadsoul.................
:)

SJ · September 20, 2007, 12:12pm

Re: Aik Chotee Se Arzi…

psand karay ka shukriya chacha jee:)

Shab-e-Hijar · September 20, 2007, 1:03pm

Re: Aik Chotee Se Arzi…

wah sonia gi kya baat hai maza agya parh kar
keep it up

SJ · September 20, 2007, 2:07pm

Re: Aik Chotee Se Arzi…

thanks for the flower shabbo…

P_G · September 20, 2007, 2:39pm

Re: Aik Chotee Se Arzi.............

wow so sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet : )