I am looking for some serious insights.
i have a friend who is anemic and has a passive nature. She’s gotten a proposal by a guy who is her office mate. The guy is very aggressive in nature,he’s into sales of high tech products and that makes his nature of job really stressful. He has a very aggressive attitude towards his work and career. This sounds good i know, but the issue here is that it is assumed by my friend that the people with aggressive behaviors will have higher sex drive as well. Now she being anemic is worried about this and that she might not be able to satiate his wishes. Also, since his work is stressful, she’s concerned that he might need too much of it as its generally heard that its one of the best way to release stress.
She can’t talk to him about this as they are not in any relationship, just work at the same place, the guy liked her, approached her and sent proposal.
i just need your insight if it is true that people with aggressive behavior have high sex drives than the others? Do people who are anemic and passive can be as good as others in making out?
Re: Aggressive men
Eh? This question did not go the way I was expecting it to. I would be more worried about being mentally exhausted with a super aggressive guy rather than physically. She should get herself checked out by a good doctor if she feels her sex drive is too low because you can't judge a book by its cover and even average Joe could be super sexed up.
Re: Aggressive men
A very valid one.
Just in case, if she does ends up marrying this guy, she should not smoke it out, major exposure of weaknesses like this can lead to really nasty relationship. She should leave it God, Faith and Strive.
We (as men) often establish that hyper active (sexually) woman and average active man, make good couple.
Now that said, Aggressive and Career oriented men, have it all calculated (usually). They don’t require equally aggressive woman(usually). They consistently require someone to support them(always). Some one confident, logical, and a good neutral assessor works out just fine(always). I am pretty sure, she blows away her negatives (from worldly perspective) by her positives (by his perspective), Aggressive men usually require someone really stable, and we know, when they see one!
Now for Anemia, I am not really sure, how far it extends itself to subject, check this out
can anemia affect sex drive in women? (wife, friend, reason) - Relationships -Dating, marriage, boyfriends, girlfriends, men, women, friends, attraction … - City-Data Forum
but If i were her, I’d seriously think about fixing it, prior to my marriage, Medicine, treatment, herbs, black seeds, exercise, etc . .
She should really ask people, who had/have anemia, and how they neutralised it for sex . .warning: world is full of people who just complain in any case.
And sometime when you really can’t solve the problem, why not go at a war with it and make yourself tough enough! Start doing pilates, zumba what works better . .
We hear it all the time, how some people couldn’t conceive, and they just prayed to God, and were blessed with kids (I am talking 90s -IVF etc), so in her situation, It’s just anemia …
so many things on the table before you really start to doubt (or should i say, never!)!
Re: Aggressive men
Really? I am at loss where to start
Re: Aggressive men
I'm with pisiform on this one. Anemic? Sex drives? What?
Re: Aggressive men
Lol. I'm sorry. Lol.
Re: Aggressive men
Soooo…this girl got a marriage proposal from a co-worker who she is NOT dating. She doesn’t know him as a person and hasn’t talked about ANYTHING else to find out if their personality/values are compatible. Her #1](http://www.paklinks.com/gs/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) concern towards this arranged rishta is their SEXUAL compatibility?! Wow…
Well, I’ll say this much…if sex is the #1](http://www.paklinks.com/gs/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=1) thing that enters her thoughts when she considers this potential rishta…I don’t think there will be an issue with her not being into him. :@:
On a side note…not too long ago we had some guy here claiming sperms cause STDs. And now this. Seriously people…desis are in NEED of proper sex education filled with FACTS. :chai:
Re: Aggressive men
I did a cursory search on Google and it appears that anaemia does affect sex drive. That said, Gudia, I would suggest that your friend consult a doctor who would (hopefully) answer her questions and remove any misconceptions she has about sexual intimacy and anaemia in a professional manner and without condescension and amusement. Kisi ko tanziyya andaaz main jawab denay se kya haasil hoga? Kuch bhi nahi. Not even the best and most learned among us is aqalmand 24/7.
While it may be too soon for your friend to worry about the sexual equation with this guy especially when she doesn't know him that well, I do think that it's very natural and understandable to have concerns and even fears about sexual intimacy. It's not the only aspect of a marriage, but it is still a very very significant part of marriage. And our conservative culture along with having zero experience can exacerbate the fear of the unknown. So, consult your doctor and also get to know this guy's personality and character. His fieriness may or may not transfer into the bedroom, but I can see why you'd make that connection. I'm guessing it's based on the assumption that his aggressiveness indicates higher testosterone levels which may mean a higher sex drive. Try to find out whether the aggressiveness he shows at work is also evident in his personal relationships. Does he apologize for his mistakes or does he have an ego? Does he compromise or is he inflexible? How does he communicate during conflicts? Don't only worry about sexual intimacy; look at other aspects of this guy too and do istikhara.
Re: Aggressive men
Lol!!! None of the scenarios (this one or std inducing sperm) are very surprising given how taboo the subject of sex is in our culture. Parents don’t talk about sex or attraction etc in age appropriate ways with their kids, don’t educate their kids on the basics and then get them married off without giving them a clue about marital relations…all of that is what gives us these entertaining threads 
Re: Aggressive men
Anemia has nothing to do with sex apart from the simple connection that if your anemia is that symptomatic that you get shortness of breath with exertion then any exertion including sex that would bring on that kind of level of shortness of breath would be problematic. The solution then isn't to address the sex and make it less aggressive but to fix the anemia and treat it's underlying cause if it is treatable. If in the case of a walking talking desi woman it's some sort of a thalassemia trait then she may need intermittent blood transfusions. That's all and fine but no doctor would discourage sex on the basis of anemia. I don't care what your doctor Google or cursory reading of medical topics or obscure research papers and their non-clinically guided conclusions tell you.
Re: Aggressive men
And even if she has something more rare like PNH or some hereditary anemia, again the recommendations are not to abstain from sex entirely but to treat the anemia and optimize her so that she can enjoy activities of daily living, one of them being sex.
There you go armchair doctors.
Re: Aggressive men
Never claimed to be a doctor much less the armchair variety. Didn't tell her address the sex and not the anaemia. I stressed consulting her doctor. The best that I can do is google. However, jo laug apnay aap ko pakkay doctors samajhtay hain aur agar unhe apni medical credentials par itna hi fakhar hai, to then they should respect the honorable profession enough to advise those that are less knowledgable in a more caring way.
Re: Aggressive men
....it is assumed by my friend that the people with aggressive behaviors will have higher sex drive as well.
assumption is the mother of all screw ups...
Re: Aggressive men
Is that an assumption or an observation
Re: Aggressive men
Really? I am at loss where to start
Start from the beginning.
Re: Aggressive men
i think you assume too many things on your own. where have i said that she doesn’t know anything about him? she knows about his behavior and personality, that’s why she knows he is aggressive. And if you read the whole post, i have mentioned she is passive by nature and the guy is not. If someone is concerned about one thing this doesn’t mean they haven’t thought about other things. if someone is coming on this forum, asking about any one thing you cant make judgement that that is the NO.1 thing or ONLY thing they are concerned about. And the query is for someone who is anemic, and while you might not be worried about this matter, she is.
And for your information, there are people who work at the same place and got married to each other but have not DATED.
Yeah too much on the need of proper sex education, yet when someone comes on this forum asking questions related to sex, the desis ridicule it.
Re: Aggressive men
Lol!!! None of the scenarios (this one or std inducing sperm) are very surprising given how taboo the subject of sex is in our culture. Parents don't talk about sex or attraction etc in age appropriate ways with their kids, don't educate their kids on the basics and then get them married off without giving them a clue about marital relations....all of that is what gives us these entertaining threads :D
and sex education will still be considered taboo as anyone asking a question related to it or is worried about it, is considered someone who is only thinking about sex. (As put up by one poster). You might find this thread entertaining because the issue doesn't concern you. Someone's worry can be a cause of entertainment for others.
Re: Aggressive men
I did a cursory search on Google and it appears that anaemia does affect sex drive. That said, Gudia, I would suggest that your friend consult a doctor who would (hopefully) answer her questions and remove any misconceptions she has about sexual intimacy and anaemia in a professional manner and without condescension and amusement. Kisi ko tanziyya andaaz main jawab denay se kya haasil hoga? Kuch bhi nahi. Not even the best and most learned among us is aqalmand 24/7.
While it may be too soon for your friend to worry about the sexual equation with this guy especially when she doesn't know him that well, I do think that it's very natural and understandable to have concerns and even fears about sexual intimacy. It's not the only aspect of a marriage, but it is still a very very significant part of marriage. And our conservative culture along with having zero experience can exacerbate the fear of the unknown. So, consult your doctor and also get to know this guy's personality and character. His fieriness may or may not transfer into the bedroom, but I can see why you'd make that connection. I'm guessing it's based on the assumption that his aggressiveness indicates higher testosterone levels which may mean a higher sex drive. Try to find out whether the aggressiveness he shows at work is also evident in his personal relationships. Does he apologize for his mistakes or does he have an ego? Does he compromise or is he inflexible? How does he communicate during conflicts? Don't only worry about sexual intimacy; look at other aspects of this guy too and do istikhara.
Thank you for the sensible advise.
OP... she will be fine. South Asian women are generally anaemic. But we sex it up just fine.
Re: Aggressive men
hmmm I think stess kills sex drive! so if he is in such a position where he is in stress most of the time, he will need to relax to be able to enjoy sex... so nothing to worry about.