hmm.. i was having this debate with couple of my friends.. and apprently none of them agree with my view..
so i have decided to get ur support on it!
ok .. we were discussing the “appropiate age for marriage” .. please note that we did assume that it was a " pakistani mentality " marriage system.. (don’t blame me for the terminology)
i argued that if he/she is 20+ and if he/she thinks that he/she knows someone who is good for he/she then the parents shoud allow them to get married. Since, in this day and age, where the enviroment and life of a person at that age (and even before that age) is usually shaped by the peer pressure and other such things then by marrrying he/she is making her/him -self safe from a big sin… So it should be ok for him/her to get married..
now the rest of them were arguing that they shouldn’t marry until age 25 (for guys) .. [and i have no idea y a girl can get married after 20 but a guy can’t ]
First of all, getting married doesn't mean you will stop committing sin. Those who sinned before will more than likely sin afterwards.
Gregorian age shouldn't be a factor in deciding when to tie the knot. It should depend on how mentally one is ready to commitment. Also, one must be financially stable. Getting ready for marriage is a frame of mind and not something that can be achieved at a acertain age.
Gregorian age shouldn't be a factor in deciding when to tie the knot. It should depend on how mentally one is ready to commitment. Also, one must be financially stable. Getting ready for marriage is a frame of mind and not something that can be achieved at a acertain age.
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*Originally posted by funguy: *
First of all, getting married doesn't mean you will stop committing sin. Those who sinned before will more than likely sin afterwards.
Gregorian age shouldn't be a factor in deciding when to tie the knot. It should depend on how mentally one is ready to commitment. Also, one must be financially stable. Getting ready for marriage is a frame of mind and not something that can be achieved at a acertain age.
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I agree with him, you can commit a sin anytime, even if you are married. I know many people who get married only b/c they can do things like that, b/c they think that now there parents wont care too much about them.
yeap funguy said it all... there is no age for getting married.. u have to be mentally and financially prepared to get urself committed...
its only in our society that we marry girls and guys off young... (well used to) and that was due to various reasons...
so they dont commit sin (as in sleep around)
the life expectancy of people wasnt that much before
people were trying to increase the poppulation (and Islam).. and so they started off young...
hmm i cant think of others at the moment... but life has changed quite dramatically where females are now independant of men... (in some cultures).. it also depends on where ur living.. some places in pakistan still marry their kids (boys and girls) off before they are even 20.. and i know some people who wait till their late 20's..
this is what i am saying.. if a guy gets married early, then i think the bigger sin of Zina (sp?) can't be commited or the temptation of it isn't that much.. .. i hope i am clear in what i am trying to say.. the rest of the sins (minor ones) are totally dependent on the person .. he can commit them anywhere anytime..
exactly.... so the excuse people have for getting married young is to prevent them from committing sin.... that doesnt stand.. cus u can commit it afterwards too
Personally, I’m not at all against early marriages, as it isn’t a bad idea for people who think they would be able to cope with it.
I know of many sisters and brothers who did get married at an early age and are living very happily, Alhamdulillah.
Oh… and why is financial stability such a big issue these days? What do you do when your spouse is laid off from work and is unable to find another job for a while (and say he doesn’t have much savings)? I’m sure marriages don’t end because of that.
I also know of brothers and sisters who are studying and are married, but aren’t working. It’s either the brother’s parents who are happily paying for their expenses or the guy is living with his parents and the girl with hers. I think that also does work out quite nicely (at least from what I’ve seen).
Again, it all depends on the individual and the situation he/she is in. Also, I think it is very wrong of parents to prevent their children from getting married esp. if they realize that their children would be able to cope with it.
see a SIN (major or minor) can be commited anytime.. but look at this way.. if i like some girl.. then, i will be commiting sin while being with her as a boyfriend ..... (in a nutshell) so if i get married to that person then atleast i am not going to comit that sin.. that's what i am talking about.. remember marriage is service towards Allah (swt) .. so by doing it one gets 2 benefits (big ones)
satisfaction and happiness from Allah
can concentrate his thoughts on one person, who is allowed for him/her. This prevents, or atleast reduces the chance of that person commiting adultry by 99%..
that's all i am saying.. rest.. as Sadiya said.. financial stability is not a problem.. as Allah has promised it everyone of us .... so that's one part we shouldn't be worried about.. :)
This is exactly why many young practising Muslims are trying to get married at an early age. Besides, if you are mature, responsible and are getting married for the right reasons, then I’m sure you wouldn’t commit adultery, inshAllah. Consequently, early marriages save one from a lot of fitna and sinning. Also, one must perform istikhara to be absolutely sure that the step they are about to take is the right one and has Allah’s (SWT) approval for it, inshAllah.
funguy, i think your still not getting my point... i am saying, that some of the sins commited by us Young muslims (for example) in North America.. is the disobeying the order of looking at other non-mehrams and this can create "lust" in our heart.. which can lead to a major sin... one of the reasons y islamic scholars suggest getting married early is that once ur married, your chances of developing that "lust" is still there but ur chances of commiting that major sin are reduced! ( i am not saying they are gone) and i am also assuming that the person is trying his/her best to avoid sins in his/her life! so if you are trying not commit any sin and to purify urself for Allah, early marriage can help !.. there is not time frame or money frame on marriage.. coz its upto Allah to provide risk and its up to ppl getting married to support each other and pray for the best!...
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*Originally posted by Ansoon: *
hmm.. i was having this debate with couple of my friends.. and apprently none of them agree with my view..:(
so i have decided to get ur support on it! :D
ok .. we were discussing the "appropiate age for marriage" .. please note that we did assume that it was a " pakistani mentality " marriage system.. (don't blame me for the terminology)
i argued that if he/she is 20+ and if he/she thinks that he/she knows someone who is good for he/she then the parents shoud allow them to get married. Since, in this day and age, where the enviroment and life of a person at that age (and even before that age) is usually shaped by the peer pressure and other such things then by marrrying he/she is making her/him -self safe from a big sin... So it should be ok for him/her to get married..
now the rest of them were arguing that they shouldn't marry until age 25 (for guys) .. [and i have no idea y a girl can get married after 20 but a guy can't ]
so what do u guys think?
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The only answer I provide you is that the perfect age for marriage is when the person is ready for the responsibility. Although younger couples may look like the picture perfect pair they are not always the most mature.
