i know someone who is 21 years and has fallen in love with someone 38 years! they are getting married in 2 weeks time. when they are together you just can't tell that they have almost 20 years apart!
Well what i think is Age difference matters,matters alot.Donot know what love exactly is?maybe its an understand(good one)between two people...or something else.donot know!
For example you marry a person lets say 15 years older than you ,you will have a different level of maturity than the other person.It never works.Never.
For example you marry a person lets say 15 years older than you ,you will have a different level of maturity than the other person.It never works.Never.
Never is a strong word.
And the thing is, it HAS worked. I've seen lots of people with big age differences - sometimes more than 15 years - live a very happy life.
It's possible. It simply depends on the two people involved.
I got a rishta from a 31 year old recently and Im 21! my parents didn't seem to mind lol
But I know how you feel..One of my cousins recently married a guy who is 9 years older than her and told me how she was reluctant to even check him out when the rishta had first came. Mashallah everything worked out and now they're happily married. So don't worry about the 7 year age difference
anyway i just wanted peoples opinions? is a 7 year age difference in a potential partner too much?
I havnt met the guy yet but im put off already :S
Alvena, for some couples even a 15 year age difference is no big deal. And for others, even a 5 year difference can be too much. I know of a couple with a 10 year age difference who have had a very rocky marriage. At the same time I know of another couple with a 10 year age difference who have a more mature and stable marriage.
With that said, none of us can give you an absolute answer because none of us know YOU better than YOU. Get to meet the guy and then base your decision. It's possible that, despite his age, he could have a very youthful personality or he might even look considerably younger than his age.
In the end, do what YOU know is best for you. Do you feel that you connect more easily to people closer to your age? Or do you prefer an older partner? Everyone is different. For example, I prefer someone closer to my age because I KNOW my personality well enough to know that I'd find it tougher connecting to a guy who is considerable older. If YOU as an individual feel that you'll have a hard time connecting to the guy, regardless of how much your parents might brush off the age issue or pressure you, do voice your concerns and opinions. Think about things carefully before making a decision. Best wishes.
^ How do you usually act when your mom tells you that she has invited guests whom you've never met before (let's say that it's not for rishta purposes)??? Ever been in that situation?
Don't you usually just dress nicely, say salam, ask how are you, serve the food if necessary, sit on the sofa in the living room with your parents and answer any questions the guests might have for you? This is what you'll be DOING.
I doubt that the guy will be asking you any serious questions in front of his parents and yours. Usually parents allow the guy and the girl to talk separately. If it even gets to that stage, that would be the part where you get to know him more.
When it's all over and you've breathed a sigh of relief, do tell us how it went.
Ok so they have come and gone, and back to the age difference topic....
I am 22 he is 29....and i felt older than him!!! i thought he would be some grandad but he was actually childish...:( i was dissapointed in a way because i thought he was the younger brother who is like 23 so when we got to talk one on one, i was doing alot of the talking and felt much more confident and almost a little over powering....which i found unattractive...
i think the family liked me, the guy seems nuetral and the kind to do what his parents say.....but i didnt feel attracted to him there was not much chemistry in this very breif meeting...
Ok so they have come and gone, and back to the age difference topic....
I am 22 he is 29....and i felt older than him!!! i thought he would be some grandad but he was actually childish...:( i was dissapointed in a way because i thought he was the younger brother who is like 23 so when we got to talk one on one, i was doing alot of the talking and felt much more confident and almost a little over powering....which i found unattractive...
i think the family liked me, the guy seems nuetral and the kind to do what his parents say.....but i didnt feel attracted to him there was not much chemistry in this very breif meeting...
but lets see what happens lets see what they say
Okay, so you personally don't feel attracted to him. It's important to voice your opinions, because irrespective of parental pressure, it is YOU who will have to manage the marriage and not them. How do your parents feel about the guy and his family? Let them know how you feel about him.
You say that the guy's parents seemed to like you. But you can never be certain about these things because most people tend to be polite as guests. If they don't respond back, you can assume that they're not interested, which works out for you because you're not interested the guy yourself. And in the event that they are interested, it's up to you to decide whether your want to give the guy another chance to get to know him a little better OR whether you just want your parents to tell him that you're not interested.
Okay, so you personally don't feel attracted to him. It's important to voice your opinions, because irrespective of parental pressure, it is YOU who will have to manage the marriage and not them. How do your parents feel about the guy and his family? Let them know how you feel about him.
You say that the guy's parents seemed to like you. But you can never be certain about these things because most people tend to be polite as guests. If they don't respond back, you can assume that they're not interested, which works out for you because you're not interested the guy yourself. And in the event that they are interested, it's up to you to decide whether your want to give the guy another chance to get to know him a little better OR whether you just want your parents to tell him that you're not interested.
I have voiced my opinion, my parents are telling me to still remain open minded and see what they say first, if there is no response fair enough. If there is a positive response then i think i would probably give him one more chance. Maybe he was really shy/awkward due to the situation?
Yeah i cant be too certain if they liked me but the dad seemed to be really fatherly with me, but maybe thats just how he is.
My family seemed to like his family, but werent too sure about the guy just because he was pretty shy and a little childish...