i do think my marriage is relatively normal compared.
but i still have a problem.
could it be my own needyness/insecurity/clingyness
?
AND YES before the get a life suggestions come out, i know all that.
How do i stop caring so much, stop expecting anything from him? how can i do this, i do try, like il try to be quieter, less in his face, but then he will come to me and ay kya huaaa jaan and make it up to me, and in 5mins im the same mad woman again expecting him to drop everything for me.
i need to maybe keep up with the quiet and reserved behaviour?or what.
although what if i do it too much and he gets used to that side of me and starts caring even less.
Its really a good sign that you know your problem. Now you can easily find the solution. There is nothing wrong with you. Many people needs more attention than others it is in their nature. Just try to be nice with people. keep your self buzy.
Identify within yourself, why do you get so possessed about him. How long has he been in your life? A few years, I guess. What about life before that, and now you have kids too, masha Allah. Your husband is not the only person needing and deserving all your energies and attentions.
but what about his family, not exactly treating me like im someone they love, more like an inconveniece, im their grandaughters mum, their sons wife. thats it.
his sister- shes ok, yet they all talk to me like im an idiot. like for eg- the pot of currys too hot, i know its hot, yet shel saynadz its hot so make sure u dnt touch it..like im a kid. ornadz pass that newspaper, it has to be an old one not todays paperil pass her an old paper yet shel ask me again is it an old one?
jesusss im the same age as herm, yet they talk to me like im an idiot and know nothing and have to be taught. i can cook, i have my own way of cooking, yet theyl say aise karo, waise to nahi hota....
its annoying.
my mum treats him like the prince of wales. sadly i do not get treated like a person with her own mind.
but what about his family, not exactly treating me like im someone they love, more like an inconveniece, im their grandaughters mum, their sons wife. thats it.
his sister- shes ok, yet they all talk to me like im an idiot. like for eg- the pot of currys too hot, i know its hot, yet shel saynadz its hot so make sure u dnt touch it..like im a kid. ornadz pass that newspaper, it has to be an old one not todays paperil pass her an old paper yet shel ask me again is it an old one?
jesusss im the same age as herm, yet they talk to me like im an idiot and know nothing and have to be taught. i can cook, i have my own way of cooking, yet theyl say aise karo, waise to nahi hota....
its annoying.
my mum treats him like the prince of wales. sadly i do not get treated like a person with her own mind.
maybe that's their way of being protective about you? or/and they just try to guide you since ur new here. Why do u feel they dnt think much of you?
Maybe your expectations of your in laws are too high? I think you need to get some hobbies to keep yourself busy so you'll have less time to think about these trivial issues, which is what they are, trivial! You need to learn to let them go. Are they really worth getting riled up over? What if God forbid something were to happen to your hubby or one of your in laws, you'd be left with guilt over the way maybe you dealt with the issues or the way you argued with your hubs.
okay thats so nice of your mom. This is always like that, everywhere. People are loving to their sons in law because of their daughter but sadly the son's mother wouldnt be that way. The best you can do is stop drawing comparisons. His family, your mom, you and him all are different persons and ought to behave differently. If someone cannot like you or be good to you its their problem, or is it yours?
if i m not wrong, you are the same woman who have issue with sil becuase your hubby give here more attention. and you are the one who left england and settle down in pakistan.
i dont know, why did you get marry him if you know he going to live in pakistan.
in you current situation, i dont see any bad behavior from your inlaw. it it you who think negative stuff.
i also understand your life in pakistan, it is really hard to live there especially when you have good life in england.
my advice for you is that you should deal with it nicely.
You know I have always believed I would let my children find their own spouses and as long as they were God fearing muslims I would always support them.
After reading your issues in Life1 nadz I have decided I will insist on a physiatric assessment of any potential dil.
Y do husbands get more angry ith their woives and not with their sisters. And I'm talking of decent husbands.
Maybe because said wife has alienated her husband with her constant nagging, crying and child like attention seeking. Maybe he just has more fun with his sister so his tolerance for her shortcomings is higher.
You know I have always believed I would let my children find their own spouses and as long as they were God fearing muslims I would always support them.
After reading your issues in Life1 nadz I have decided I will insist on a physiatric assessment of any potential dil.
Why do you expect so much from your Inlaws? I dont get it nadz.
Why do you think they will treat you like they treat his sister? Are you his sister? Is your MIL your real mother? Did she breast feed you? Did she change your poopy diapers? I dont think so.
Inlaws are inlaws...be respectful and nice to them. But expect nothing in return. I know it sounds unfair especially since your own mother is so good to your husband but thats just how it is. Girls' parents are nicer because they think of how their own daughter might be treated if they arent nice. Boys' parents dont care because they think their son is in control and what on earth would they fear?
