Have you let yourself go a bit, because you’re comfortable; because he loves you how you are;
or Do you make an effort from the moment you get up for him (or the majority of the time)
Re: After marriage
i am not getting love part. 
does love really exist?
how could one identify it?
Re: After marriage
i hope she will make an effort :)
Re: After marriage
why do u ppl think marriage is such a difficult thing?
Re: After marriage
^isnt it??
Re: After marriage
Have you let yourself go a bit, because you're comfortable; because he loves you how you are; or Do you make an effort from the moment you get up for him (or the majority of the time)
Back when I was single (almost 3 years ago), I always took care of myself. Nails, make-up when going out, blow drying/straightening hair, going to gym....I did all that when I was single. He has seen me all dolled up...and he has also seen me while I was sick in the hospital at my worst. He sees me with full make-up when we "go out"....he also sees me in a old t-shirt/jeans, no make-up/hair up when we're casually hanging out.
When I started dating him, nothing changed in my "beauty/self-care" routine.
When we got engaged, nothing changed either.
When we get married next year, I don't plan on changing anything.
Why? B/C all those things....I did them (and still do it) for ME. :) I make an effort b/c I want to like what I see in the mirror...b/c I want to present the best "me" to the world. "Catching" a man while doing it all for myself is just a bonus. :)
Re: After marriage
yeah big time but i'm trying to be back on track.
Re: After marriage
I guess women need to take care of themselves more than they did when they were single. Zamana bohot kharab hai. Husbands get easily get attracted to other women if they don't find their wives attractive.
Re: After marriage
I guess women need to take care of themselves more than they did when they were single. Zamana bohot kharab hai. Husbands get easily get attracted to other women if they don't find their wives attractive.
That's one heckuva pathetic partner to have then...if they think like that....
Re: After marriage
its a piece of cake
i mean its not like climbing mount everest
^isnt it??
Re: After marriage
There are days where I stay in PJ's all day my hair undone no makeup and we have the best time just hanging out and then there are days where I'll wear a shirt he likes or a perfume he likes but I do those things because I like to and I like the way it makes me feel.
I think it would be exhausting to be made up all the time for your husband.
Re: After marriage
That's one heckuva pathetic partner to have then...if they think like that....
Think like what?
Re: After marriage
That's one heckuva pathetic partner to have then...if they think like that....
Yes, its pathetic. But such men do exist in this world.
Re: After marriage
There always are trade offs.
Silky hair, trimmed eye brows, finished nails and well toned body very rarely co-exists with home made parathey, fresh from Tawa Roti, A+ Grades of kids, washed and pressed cloths, and well looked after husband (and sometimes in-laws). If guy is understanding he picks either red or green and love the wife for what she is and what she is doing for him/his family. If guy want both, then he has to take up some from greens.
Re: After marriage
Going back to what Ashy *said........does marriage mean that one would CEASE to find someone else (other than their partner) attractive? And thinking that someone is attractive does not necessarily entail flirting or having an affair, right? Sure it sounds *"pathetic"...since it's natural for one to be posessive of their spouse. But I don't think what she's said is entirely wrong....it's a good thing to maintain yourself. Human nature is such that we are drawn to attractive things...(attractive clothes, cars, homes, scenes, even people). I don't think that innate aspect of us shuts off....though YES you do have the responsibility to keep your emotions in check and not translate them into actions that will hurt others (your partner) and would be a gunnah.
Our bodies are are a blessing/gift from Allah to us.....our bodies have a right upon us (and this is mentioned in a hadith as well)...so (even from a religious perspective) it's important to maintain ourselves. Not only outwardly (in terms of makeup/hair, etc)...but it also includes diet, exercise, etc. Apart from that ...it's necessary for our self-esteem and it's among the many things that helps a marriage.
Re: After marriage
I havn't read all replies here, but I can tell you I have been married coming upto 18 years in December mashallah and I still like to look nice for him and for ME too. It makes me feel so good if I have made an effort, it doesn't have to mean the full on works with make up, but just so you can look presentable, smell nice, nice clothes, hair tidy and that's it.
I do have my off days when I don't make too much effort or non at all but thats not a problem because mostly I do. Women complain of their hubbies straying, or not giving enough attention, if they made themselves look nice, a teeny bit of effort I am sure this problem would be alot less unless the hubby is a casanova by default lol
Re: After marriage
I haven't changed at all.
Re: After marriage
I don't think you can wholely blame husbands straying because their wives weren't 'attractive enough' anymore or slightly let themselves go. If a man is going to stray, he is going to stray.