After death or permanent separation of a beloved one, would you dispose off their belongings or keep them with you ?
Would you like the same for yourself after you die ?
Re: After D.E.A.T.H separate the beloved ones
you can only hold on to things for so long. There are other people in the world who can make use of things that you would just hold on to for sentimental reasons.
For our twins, we held on to their clothes, and supplies for a while, but giving it away to needy kids in orphanages was a cleansing exercise for us.
When I die, I hope that all of my personal belongings are given to charity. If there is a handful of sentimental items, that is okay, but the rest would need to go.
Re: After D.E.A.T.H separate the beloved ones
I would want my things given away too...but things like my wedding ring(in case i live to see my wedding) and things like that i want saved somewhere or buried with me..Can you do that actually, i mean Islamically? But everything else i dont really care for.
Re: After D.E.A.T.H separate the beloved ones
When my grandma passed away, we gave away a lot of her clothes, shoes, and other stuff that the less fortunate could use, but we kept the sentimental stuff. i kept a blanket that she used (i go wrap around in it when i miss her). And kept a few sarees and wear them regularly. I think keeping a few sentimental things gives value to them, and i use them in my daily routine so i am reminded of her often
Re: After D.E.A.T.H separate the beloved ones
^ Nice sharing. I think keeping the sentimental things help us in remembering them in our prayers more frequently which they are in "intense" need of, while in the grave.
Previously I didn't used to frequently remember my grand father in prayers, but after I saw a dream in which he was very unhappy with me. I told him that " I love him and miss him alot" and his response was something like that (not in words) " Than why don't you remember me in your prayers"
Re: After D.E.A.T.H separate the beloved ones
submission to peace
I actually saw my nana in my dream where he was concerned that after his passing the family had not supported his charity which was an orphanage. I immediateky got on the phone with my mum the next day and made sure my sadqa went there.
it was a dream out of nowhere...I dunno. I still have the advice my nana wrote to me, and I just want to frame it and keep it in front of me, but it is in a book and safe, i read it sometimes, it also has notes and advice from some of the people who helped shape me.
reminds me of my math teacher in saudi arabia who wrote " a true gentleman has no real enemies"..anyways, I digress.
Re: After D.E.A.T.H separate the beloved ones
^ Nice sharing brother, I am sure your nana was a very pious person like my dada. Such people are a blessing of Allah upon a family as it is not easy to find people with such a beautiful character, in the present time. They have a strong influence on their family and Allah make them a source of guidence for the whole family.
May Allah bless us all and our families with all the blessings of this life and hereafter.
Re: After D.E.A.T.H separate the beloved ones
We grew up with our grandparents, and my nana died when I was 8 and my nani when I was 16.
We gave away most of my nana's clothes to charity but kept other belongings, like watches etc etc
Same with nani.....
Even to this day, I ask my mum for stuff like "Can Ihave Abba's so and so, or Ammi's so and so"
I think it makes my mum happy that I do this (my sister doesn't)
For me it's something special to do this.......
Re: After D.E.A.T.H separate the beloved ones
My mother in law passed away almost an year ago. We didn't find it in our heart to give aay all her belongings, earlier.
But later on we gave almost all to needy ppl but kept a few things. Now all the dupattas/shawls etc. she ever gave me as a gift...i've a hard time letting it go. I usually don't hold onto things but somehow these things always remind me of her...n I just don't want to give these away...at least until i'm alive.
Re: After D.E.A.T.H separate the beloved ones
When my grandfather's brother died, we were his closest relatives in the same country. We ended up giving most of his belongings to his local mosque to give to the poor, but I asked my parents to save me his suits and ties since he was the same size as me at the time. I wore his suits for the next 4-5 years until I gained some weight and couldn't fit in them....
Re: After D.E.A.T.H separate the beloved ones
/\ Mads, although I understand it a bit. I find it disturbing at the same time.
I guess depends how close you were with the man.
Re: After D.E.A.T.H separate the beloved ones
I have kept my papa's passport watch n some letters ,my uncle's glasses etc but i cant give away my mom's clothes etc ..still ve em saved .
Re: After D.E.A.T.H separate the beloved ones
When my father passed away, my sisters and I went through his things 4-5 days after his death to sort through them. We gave away most of his things to charity...but kept the things that we thought had sentimental value.
I would want my family to do the same with my possessions as well.
Re: After D.E.A.T.H separate the beloved ones
I wasn’t that cose, but he used to love giving me gifts and things so I figured he would want me to have his suits…
Re: After D.E.A.T.H separate the beloved ones
i was too young when my nani passes away, so i'm not quite sure what they did with her clothes, but i do rememeber that a few of her dupattas were kept, this bag that she had my mum took it, and her jewellery was given to her granddaughters from her daughters. the dupatta im not sure where it is now. the bag i insisted that my mom give to me, and it was all phatta and stuff, so after a while my mom, with a heavy heart threw it out. the jewellery we recycled to make new pieces out of it.
my dad had bought a new suit for my dadi, but she passed away before he could go back home. so he gave away that new suit to charity. the old clothes i think were thrown away. and her jewellery is in limbo.
my aunt still keeps a suit of my uncle's in her almari. i'm not sure about the other stuff. and i don't feel comfortable asking either. nor do i wanna know. the suit thing slipped out of someone's mouth one day anyways.
Re: After D.E.A.T.H separate the beloved ones
^ that reminds me...my mom has this lovely looking ring that belonged to her mother (who passed way before i was born). It is antique looking but still in good shape. I wear it from time to time and so does my mom....it's def something that needs to be passed on from generation to generation.
Re: After D.E.A.T.H separate the beloved ones
We're just going thru this now. The precious things...my dad's flight suit, company jacket, favorite slippers - these are the kind of things we are keeping. The rest went to local charities. Same with all his medicines, he had literally thousands of dollars worth of all kinds of medicines.
I'll want the same to happen with my things.