Re: after a long time......
Selamat kembali Nisa. I was wondering recently about your whereabouts. Probably because of the short distance between where we live (rather lived), I have always felt that I am closer to you than anyone else here. After, reading what you have written, I don't feel sorry for you; I sort of feel proud. He is, indeed, a lucky man.
After living in the Orient for a long time, I realized that this sort of behavior is not uncommon there. Married men do such things and most of the time, women are aware of their behavior. I know a person from the same place where you live. He is a very nice guy, living with his wife and 2 kids. He does the same things, however. His wife is fully aware of his activities, but she is as happy as another married woman can be, because despite his behavior outside, he is a genuinely good husband(????) and apparently loves his family very much(????). Initially, we found it extremely strange but I guess people think differently in different places.
Obviously, despite your husband's follies, you love him. So it seems that he is a nice person. If you want to stay with him, it is your choice. The best thing is to sit with him in a completely non-hostile environment and ask him why is he doing the things he does. Try to find the truth behind his obsessions. Not being condescending or angry, try to open him up. Being the nice person he apparently is, there is a high probability that he is already sad about the state of affairs he has put his life in. The only person who can help him get out of this mess is you. Being quiet, angry, sad at him at this time will further push him in to depression and resentment and further follies.
Show him that there is a way out and you are willing to support him to come out of his darkness. However, let him know how damaged and torn you are because of his behavior. If he is a genuinely good at his heart, he will come back to you and you might find that you have unearthed a diamond out of this stone.
However, if your husband shows aggression against you and is not willing to talk, listen and improve his way (albeit gradually but definitely), I think it will be high time you think of moving on with your life without him.
Whatever you choose, may God help you with the right decision. Amen.