Re: Aek teen saal puraani ghazal
Thanx Shab-e-Hijar, Innocent_Smile, for liking it :)
&Passionate, thanx for the 'guest appearance' :(
Dilsay, :)
Re: Aek teen saal puraani ghazal
:biggthumb
Aray kia bat he aap ki Amal Sahab
Re: Aek teen saal puraani ghazal
:-)
yadin buss yadain rah jaati hain!
Re: Aek teen saal puraani ghazal
amal sahib... I simply love reading your poems :~)....
each one shows a different side of your talent...
Re: Aek teen saal puraani ghazal
And you are appearing in my thread after how many years? :(
Re: Aek teen saal puraani ghazal
nice one amal:)
Re: Aek teen saal puraani ghazal
Another niceone.Iwant to ask you did you ever write for magzines?In urdu version with an artistic back ground ,Il ike it.
Re: Aek teen saal puraani ghazal
Thanx for liking it Sami :)
Yes Shahana, some of my earlier work was published in my college magazine. But I don't think that backgrounds used were very artistic. You know na all those simple college magazines. Thanx for liking the ghazal by the way :)
Re: Aek teen saal puraani ghazal
Amal, I have some suggestions if you like. If you make these changes, the poem will come in a rhythm.
Meri hasratoon ki dharti rahi sari umer banjar
Teri qurbatoon kay badal kaheen aur jakay barsay
Meray dil ke gulistan ko youn zardiyon ne loota
Aayen na ab baharain shayad khizan ke darr say
Teri aarzo ko le ke main kahan kahan na bhatka
Na mili koi basharat mujhay mojzon ke darr se
Main lay kay jugnoyon ko, betha hoon rastay mein
Shayad ke lot aye thak har ke safar se
Ik pal ko lot aao gar hosakay ae hamdam
Ye kashmakash ki bailain, inhain noch dalo jard say
Just suggestions.
Re: Aek teen saal puraani ghazal
Shahana thank you very much for your suggestions about this ghazal. You have picked many of the points that could be improved. I hope you will keep giving me as well as other writers on this forum your valuable suggestions. Thanx again :)
adaabz amal
salaam and 10000000s duas
aap ko kafi saalon se yahan dekh raha hon lekin kabhi aap se contact nahi kia ,....
what i like to know is aap ki purani ghazals have dispeared from the board .
jo ghazals aap nay shrooh shrooh mein likhi thien jab gupshup form ki apni site thi .jab se yeh forum paklinks se join hua hay aap ki sab purani ghazals have gone ....
in year 1999 i had a massiv stroke (falage) , and while i was in hospital, my family deleted all my poetry from computer then last year i tried to find your poems but no...i cant find them.
as i am severly disabled now i like to read good ghazals like the ones u wrote...at the start when u 1st started to post poems on this forum
i hope u can help me ,
Dr Iqbal Punjabi
27 waukglen ave.
southpark village
glasgow Uk
email: [EMAIL="[email protected]"][email protected]
Re: Aek teen saal puraani ghazal
Kisi be’wafaa ki yaadeiN kisi dil’ruba ke perchey
bhala aur kya miley ga ab kisi ko merey ghar sey
Wah Amal woh shyr yad agiya kis ka hy bhla??
Bad mrny ky mery ghar sy yeh saaman nikla:)
Chand tsweery butan kuch hasinon ky khutot
Re: Aek teen saal puraani ghazal
Greeeeeeeeeb loggoon ky passs!