Advise

[SindSagar]

@choti_jaan

HiI everyone, I'm new here. I'm getting engaged soon inshallah, to what seems like a really nice guy- hopefully he wont turn out to be one of those scary people in the unfortunate rishtas.

Anyways I really want to be a good wife, sincerely. My problem is is that I was brought up as the only girl with three brothers and i got everything i always wanted. So whenever I don't get my way, i get very rude very fast- and then my mom scares the hell out me about how if i act like that i will be sent back home the next day.

Well I noticed that a lot of my friends that were like me are getting divorced, and I don't want to get divorced. I really don't want to be rude. I've really really tried not blowing up or talking back with my parents and brothers but sometimes it just happens on accident- and i always feel really awful. My sister in law is very different and she IS NEVER angry or mad or pissed at anything. I really want to be like her. How do you do that? I'm really scared that I'll blow up over something stupid like not wiping the bathroom counters after wudu and then my hubby will send me straight back.

What everybody said plus also try some "MOOD FOOD".......Congratulations and Good Luck.

The most important step was ....what you have already done!

you have recognized that there is a problem........it is all down hill now Insha Allah!

[shahwaiz]

Re: Advise

i would share my experience as i used to have the same temper, furry, independence, ego and a lot more which i feel are not demirts of your personality as my these qualities were admired by my husband but after marriage a contempt was displayed, for which i was not prepared but life teaches us. actually, at ur parents home you are least bothered by the ill-effects of being out-spoken. your parents do not criticise your every move and they understand you well bcoz they have fostered you since birth.
but later the beginning time can b a bit harsh for you as all the eyes are at u and ur every move is calculated. i have won my in-laws just bcoz i was brought up in a large family and i knew relations well. but with the husband u have to be quite submissive, at least not to speak wen he is assertive. say yes to him at all of his orders bcoz this is what he demands, which are the attributes of ownership.