clad
July 7, 2013, 9:06pm
19
Re: advise needed
hi,
I have the following issue.
I sponsored my husband, after 3 years he finally got his spouse visa. Once we got our Nikha he started being really mean. He was super nice during the engagement but after we did the nikha, he stared to be super mean. I would say things like I don’t want you to work, and would randomly tell me to stop going to work. Obvously I didn’t listen to him and continued to work. Then he started like accusing me of like having a boyfriend or being “avara” he didn’t actually say it, but he implied it several times. the first three times I was like politely saying hey don’t say that, im not likle that Im from a good family and I have a great job, why would I be that kind of girl. After he said it a couple if times, I just said hey your family must be like that so that’s why ur so worried about me and basically ended it right there. Then he appologied, and called me like 3 times. After that he would like call me randomly from 7-10 weekdays to see if I was home. Im an accountant, and sometimes I have really late hours, but I started working from home in the evenings, like I would just take my laptop home with me and continue working at home incase he called. Then on the weekends he calls randomly to check to see if im home. I mean, come on lets be honest if I work all week, I need Saturday/sunday to do my stuff. But I tried to stay home on the weekends too. When he didn’t have his visa, he would say lets have a kid now, but I was against it as I wanted him to be in the US and be a part of the kid’s life, I mean I wanted a baby to see him. I got worried and didn’t want to be a single parent. Now he says that oh, since you didn’t want a kid then Im going to wait 2 years and then have a kid. I have a feeling that either A he will wait for his greencard to be a 10 year card, and then leave. or B he is just giving me a hard time, and will attend the wedding and will have a kid. My problem is if I leave this guy, obviously relatives will be like really mean and talk **** and be happy with my downfall. dIf I stay, and he breaks up with me later, its even worse, because I will have had set him up and did everything for him. Finally, again im going to be 30 next year, and I don’t know my chances of finding some one in the US. I mean does any one see a way of making this relationship work? or what should I do? Any examples of girls who did a marrage overseas?
Every one here is telling you to leave the guy and how to cancel his visa and all . Listen I would advice you to talk to the guy give him another chance , long distance relationships are mostly very difficult to deal with specially when its arranged some times we assume things , may be he just calls you late because thats the only time he can call , may be some one is giving you wrong information about you , there are men who like women to be a full time house wife , well you both should’ve discussed that before the commitment , All Im trying to say is there is no harm in giving him another chance understand him , well i hope he is not doing it all for the passport .