Ok im getting ready to go back home -wooohooooo london am comingggggg, going next week inshallah.
and im wanting some serious advice from fellow guppans. so u know a little about me now, since i vjoined,and u know all my whining and my issues here, especially since i been in pak.
what advice would u give me, i want to come back a better person, not that i think im a bad one now, but just a better one, someone who doesnt care for what inlaws say,someone who realises her husband is actually a decent man who does have faults, as i do. i need to grow up maybe, but i cant and i do tend to think about every nit picky thing that happens to me here especially since i dont like living here. should i expect my husband to pakc his bags and come with me to england to live just because i am not happy here? do we women aexpect that?
1 - Please engrave it in you that he has a life of his own too. He needs to attend to his mother and sister too & that he will not always be there to do everything or take you out all the time. The freedom will be limited when living with the in-laws.
2-You don't like living in Pakistan, fine! But since you agreed to the marriage knowing you'll be moving to Pakistan, its best you don't bug him with moving to UK stances any more.
3-Your husband is a good guy. Just give him his space some times. Keep your self busy and give a gap for a healthy relation sometimes too.
The fact that you acknowledge your flaws and issues is the first and most important step towards dealing with these problems, and that alone makes you better equipped to deal with your problems than anyone else. Good luck, and whether you and your husband end up living in London or Pakistan, either way, I wish you and your family a happy life. I am sure we all have our flaws. However, we mature as we go along, and learn from our mistakes. The fact that you are always here, 'complaining' about your inlaws may come across as negative, but at the same time, you do admit your mistakes. That is a step in the right direction.
My advice, dont take everything so seriously. An argument with your inlaws doesnt have to become grounds for moving away. God knows we have bigger arguments with our own parents at times, yet we resolve them and move on. Just think of your inlaws as your family, and you will find it much easier to find resolutions to your problems.
All you guppans can take note of this and apply it to your lives instead of whining and *****ing all the time.
Nadz the fact that you want to better yourself is the first step. You just need to realize sometimes not everything can be done your way. Compromise is a key aspect of your life and that if your MIL is being a pain. Sometimes its easier to kill something with honey than with poison.
.. and Nadz you are always welcome to whine here. I dont know for others but I totally salute you for your honesty & straightforwardness. At least you arent the sort who act things a certain way when they actually are different. You speak the truth & you speak your mind no matter how bad an impression it would give to others.
You realize your mistakes & try for improvement, this is a great step!
Nadz start an in law blog and whine all you can on that blog. In real life if you show patience that will go a long way. Showing patience does not mean that accepting bullying taking all kind of BS.
thanks, problemo is the reason im finding it harder here, is because just dnt have the freedom to go out, shopping or just hanging out, since ive been here i feel like ive been inside the house all the time, we go out, we have been out ALL OF US to eat, and me and husband go out to shop here and there, but not really outt, not the same as going out in london, his own sister whose a doctor, she cant even come home from her work place which is 5mins away by herself, driver or bro or dad has to pik her up. i hate that kind of dependency.and this is what suffocates me, ho can i explain to him, i dnt want this life and i dnt want my daughter to be this way i want her to have a normal childohood go out with her take her out and just go to the park.why is it so hard here to do these things....
is this good enough reason for me to tell him to stay here all he wants im gonig bk uk for good?HE keeps saying he cant leave his parents alone, if they come uk fine, if they dnt he doesnt know, he keeps saying dekhke gai....
i know i make a big issue of the uk thing, but it is.
and theres no thing as to go talk to him because theres no solution apart from living seperatly, and he is someone who loves me i love him, we are a happy family otherwise so it seems pretty dumd to me to leave him for a reason like this albiet for me its the biggest reason i dnt like it here...
thanks, problemo is the reason im finding it harder here,** is because just dnt have the freedom to go out, shopping or just hanging out, since ive been here i feel like ive been inside the house all the time, we go out, we have been out ALL OF US to eat, and me and husband go out to shop here and there, but not really outt, not the same as going out in london, his own sister whose a doctor, she cant even come home from her work place which is 5mins away by herself, driver or bro or dad has to pik her up. i hate that kind of dependency.and this is what suffocates me, ho can i explain to him, i dnt want this life and i dnt want my daughter to be this way i want her to have a normal childohood go out with her take her out and just go to the park.why is it so hard here to do these things....**
Imo most of us born and brought up in the west would find that suffocating :(
