Whats one thing or more, which you've learnt from your marriage that you would tell your pre-wedding self about?
Not to get angry at the same time she is.
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What I learned from my marriage is that I am always right. I would tell my pre-wedding self to express that conviction to my spouse more often and with plenty of gusto!
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I would give the following advice to my pre-wedding self:
1- You may be right, but there?s a time and place to express those sentiments. Don?t let him walk all over you but be cognizant of how you?re phrasing your concerns. Men are essentially mama?s boys and hate to think their mothers aren?t perfect.
2- Give him respect but again pick your battles. There?s a time and place for every difficult conversation. Finding that ?right? time is incredibly hard but you?ll learn.
3- Cold hard facts aren?t always enough to convince a person. Express your emotions. Bottling things up is bad for everyone in the long run.
4- Be supportive of your husband but stand firm in your core convictions. I?ve been sort of hit and miss on this one but the one time I gave into him on something big, I?ve regretted it and it?s caused a lot of fights. He tends to agree with whatever his family tells/begs him to do for them whereas I have some core convictions that I won?t compromise on (e.g. ?halal? mortgage, having clear written communication whenever lending/borrowing money)
5- Keep your assets separate. If worse comes to worst, you?ll at least have a nest egg to rely on.
6- Write a will. Especially if you have your own income/funds/inheritance. If you want your parents/siblings to have a share in your estate, put it in writing because otherwise the state might give everything to your spouse (depending on the laws of the land).
7- Never compete with him. Win or lose, your relationship will suffer.
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I could think of following:
Do the opposite of what she tells you. Example,
" I dont wanna talk to you". That means..she wanna come closer to u. I know it is quiet twisted. But eventually everyone learns.
Do not take anything personally, especially when we are trying to adjust to our lifestyle.
Dont be messy, learn to clean up the mess.
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