This is for another Guppan so she will be reading yoru replies:
I have a very sweet dear friend.. Nice person seems to get along fine with almost everyone… but she feels like no one likes here..
She doesnt have allot of friends, says she prefers to have a close knit group. Her problem… she feels like she hasss to get along with everyone. She needs the approval of everyone around her to feel like she worth anything. If she ever has a fight with anyone she totally dwells on it and makes herself miserable to the point where if effects everythings he does and she really cant function.
I think to a certain limit we all want to be liked and accepted.. but I think this is an extreme situation. What advice would you give her to help her get over this dilemma?
Seems like a low self esteem problem. You friend should learn to think positive, build her self confidence and as someone mentioned earlier, learn to love herself first and foremost.
I’d get her involved in something she likes to do. Like art, or something, anything. Make it so she gets compliments for it (hopefully, these complements are well-deserved, but don’t have to be ). Get her to try out group activites as well, they can build a lot of confidence if you’re wiht the right thing. She must learn that she doesn’t need teh approval of others to live.
ahhh..t.he need to please syndrome..we desi girls have it bucket's full!
She just has to figure out that it's too much stress to please everyone..you have to please yourself and be nice but being nice doens't mean being a doormat.
1) dont try to please everyone at your own expense
2) at the same time dont try to piss others off
3) be concerned about the feelings of those who are close to you
4) treat all others, whether close to them or not, in a polite manner.
thats all u need to do.
this time teh advise is for free. (as if i can send collectiona gency opf Messrs. Guido and rocko after someone whose nick i dont know)
Your friend needs to develop a stronger sense of self and become more confident in herself and her abilities, not that "I don't give a siht about anything" type of attitude is the right approach to take either but having high self-esteem solves alot of problems. People admire strong, confident individuals so tell her to develop a thick skin, not hang around losers that will bring her down along with them, and to always always always keep her chin up. In addition, she needs to always think positively and not thrive on other people's perception of her. Best of luck to your pal. She'll be fine!
Advice isnt going to work Muniya,
give her 1 talking to and after that.. dont go on about it...
People like that - their problems are more deeper in the mind... its like they're programmed that way... you cant change them... over time they will learn that its just not worth it... and they will learn that you cant please everyone... there's really no other way...
If its low self esteem... then yeh take her shopping... do her make-up.. nice clothes... go out.. let her relax... but that wont really help in the long run...
As for her pondering about upsetting someone and feeling bad to the extreme... sum people are just like that - ultra-sensitive... :)
tell her to read ina lila he wa ina eli he rajioon everytime she feels worried... even if its about wat others think about her etc. inshallah allah will show her she is way better then most ppl :p
). Get her to try out group activites as well, they can build a lot of confidence if you’re wiht the right thing. She must learn that she doesn’t need teh approval of others to live.