advice on how u talk to ur parents?

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i think, sometimes, we are not effective face to face.
the possibility of writing what u feel to ur parents in a given situation, is much more effective and helpful, in order to convince ur parents and enlist their trust.

do u agree?? how many have tried it and it worked? share if u briefly could :>

best

dush

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Re: advice on how u talk to ur parents?

once, when i was younger, i got into this bigass argument with my parents, and they wouldnt talk to me. :bummer: i didnt want to talk to them either. :rolleyes:

so i sat down, and wrote in my notebook, everything that i hated about them, and i left it in the living room. my abbu picked it up, read it, and then i saw my ammi crying afterwards…and then a few hours later, they called me in to their room, and we DID talk. :halo:and it helped things a lot.

so. to answer your question. i agree, writing helps where verbal communication fails.

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Re: advice on how u talk to ur parents?

excellent example. i know it is important that newer generation - today’s teens also know that this is an alternative to either shutting and slamming doors, or tehir own selves :>

parents mostly mean well for us, we just need to be on the same wave lengths - and writing is a tool for that.

thanks for sharing u very true and real anecdote.

best,

dushwari

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Re: advice on how u talk to ur parents?

:stuck_out_tongue: easier said than done. trust me. parents have a mind of their own. :rolleyes:

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Re: advice on how u talk to ur parents?

:hehe:

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Re: advice on how u talk to ur parents?

i didnt hav any arguments kinda things in my whole life ..Never ever…kabhi aise nobat he nahi ae to hav any kind of arguments ..I didnt hate any things about my parents :clown::clown: Parents know very well ..They are our well wishers ..We must obey them …

Verbal communication is better than Qalam communication ( writing ) , if you are logical and on the right side .then i think we didnt required this kinda tool to express our feeling , emotions bla bla …Might be some of my friends didnt hav enough courage to face their parents and there verbal communication fails then you can take help with this kinda tool but :mash: in my case nothing lik that happened in my whole life …

You hav to be submissive ,calm in front of ur parents ..dont be soo emotional ..they are our parents …they can understand us very well ..know how to deal with kids very well ..avoid argument let them do whatever… according to their own style Just think that that are our well wishers after God :blush::blush:

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Re: advice on how u talk to ur parents?

decent felow,

interesting perspective!

i agree with u on many points.
but, i would add that at times, parents may not listen to u as much and then i feel that cooling off, getting to ur thinking , and transforming it into a nice, logical and pragmatic written note to parents, might help.

best,

dushwari

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Re: advice on how u talk to ur parents?

may be :slight_smile:

Parents appreciate more to verbal than writing …

In Verbal you can disscuss millions things in short time interval ..and In writing you might not be able to mension all that …otherwise you might need to write thesis of ur emotions for ur parents :hehe:

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Re: advice on how u talk to ur parents?

I strongly agree with u

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Re: advice on how u talk to ur parents?

there are always going to be problems in communication, be it verbal or written
you have to understand that they want the best for you
that is all

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Re: advice on how u talk to ur parents?

sing a song to em :blush:

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Re: advice on how u talk to ur parents?

i wish we all knew the ones, they liked.

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Re: advice on how u talk to ur parents?

long time no questions dushi, how ya been :D

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Re: advice on how u talk to ur parents?

Generation gap !!!!

I did have a few ... err... sort of uncomfortable confrontations with my dad back in my days. What i learned is that the best approach is to develop a friendly relationship with your kids. Doesnt mean that you are supposed to back slap each other and tell dirty jokes... but what it means is that we should start treating them as individuals with a distinct personality of their own. Spend time with them, discuss BIG issues with them like the color of the lunch box that other kids bring to school and the stupid schedule of the Teen Titans cartoon on TV. Stuff that makes them feel like they are talking to one of their very own buddies.

I am very comfortable with my kids and we behave and act like buddies. With a few restrictions off course......I think i have been able to form a bond with them that will help us to interact and discuss freely when the time comes for real BIG issues in life....

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Re: advice on how u talk to ur parents?

thanks for asking, Voice.

GS has got to get some rest, too :>

i will post soon.

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Re: advice on how u talk to ur parents?

**Uncle Stalker **I agree. The problem with core old Pakistani people (i.e. my Nana ji) is that they don't think the way you do. They just want to be DADs, not buddies. My nana loved my mamoos but he was pretty strict with them. Result: mamoos did things behind his back when he was out of town. They still did them but he never knew. NOW that my nana jee is old, he wants to be friend with his kids and he tries to talk to them in a very friendly manner but my mamoos are not used to it. They don't hate him, don't get me wrong, but they just can't be "buddies" with him. So yes, I agree, as a parent of young children, you have to come down to their level........and when kids grow old, parents become kids (the way their minds sometime work when they are in old age) and it is the children's responsibility to come to their level just like their parents.

Sorry Dushi jee, it wasn't really related to your topic, but I agree with your topic too. When talks fail, writing helps understand the other side.

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Re: advice on how u talk to ur parents?

thanks Shikra, & Uncle Stalker.

u are right - generation gap, and it is so hard to convince them to be at least receptive and empathic to what we are saying. we mean well, & they are stubborn and self-centered.
do u think it is because they suffered thru life & now they want to project that suffering on the younger generation?

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Re: advice on how u talk to ur parents?

I dont try to talk to them...... It keeps me at one side sad at other side off from getting myself and them into any conversation IF it occurs... :)