~! Advice on friends.

Lifestyle Relationships
1

Salam,

Tell me something…Are you wrong if you stay “away” from the wrong crowd? or a crowd u’re not comfortable with?

Now lets say that crowd was your group of friends..

Now assume that you guys were always together, halla gulla, yeh woh…then, you and your friends ended up on 2 different extremes…

your views, and perspective on life change…

And say now you still love your friends…but cannot be the same way you were with them before.

You tried explaining to them, but they could not understand. You tried showing to them, but they did not understand.

So you did what you could do in a situation like this…you avoided them.

Then they stopped calling you, and you stopped calling them…

But I mean you still have this “friend” feeling inside of you…but you don’t want to be around them..

confusing I know…

Are you wrong to avoid them? What should one do in this situation..

2

Re: ~! Advice on friends.

Give 'em a call every now and then, check in on them to see if they're doing okay, but I think there's nothing wrong with otherwise politely avoiding them if you don't have the same interests and lifestyle.

3

Re: ~! Advice on friends.

Yea i agree with Sahar

Its not nice to just completely avoid the people whom u were so close to before. Its really awkward. So its best...u check on them once in awhile. This way u dont have to avoid them & when u run into them..u guys can actually exchange greetings without feeling awkward.

Goodluck! :D

4

Re: ~! Advice on friends.

I kinda went through similar situation. As you said, we try our best but then friendship is there. I stay in touch with them, write/call every now and then. But eventually distance increases, though where friendship is really strong, people tend to accept the other as they are.

5

Re: ~! Advice on friends.

Erm i went through that phase...i was a d*** to my best friend when i was around 15...for a couple af years i was chilling with a new crew and eventually realised who my real friends were...
He called me...we kept in touch...just didnt link up...but when i saw what an idiot i was being it was like nothing had changed when we got in touch...he accepted my change and he saw me through my stupid phase and now we are best friends again now...

You should always be friends but people can drift...

6

Re: ~! Advice on friends.

Salam,

Tell me something...Are you wrong if you stay "away" from the wrong crowd? or a crowd u're not comfortable with?

No.

Now lets say that crowd was your group of friends..

Now assume that you guys were always together, halla gulla, yeh woh...then, you and your friends ended up on 2 different extremes...

your views, and perspective on life change....

It's natural, in fact, its desirable to change and mature as you grow older..

And say now you still love your friends...but cannot be the same way you were with them before.

You tried explaining to them, but they could not understand. You tried showing to them, but they did not understand.

So you did what you could do in a situation like this...you avoided them.

Then they stopped calling you, and you stopped calling them...

But I mean you still have this "friend" feeling inside of you...but you don't want to be around them..

**It's understandable.

When i was in high school, i had only one friend. We were close, shared everything, even same outlook on life. I was having lots of problems wiht my parents and i shared all my pareshaaniyan wiht her..As i was getting into college, i started being more appreciative of my culture and religion,a nd most of all my parents..She didnt' understand my wanting to get married, and all that..I barely talk to her anymore..i dunno i feel bad, coz we shared so much together..we're on gud terms, but i just feel we dont have too much in common.. **

confusing I know...

Nah it's nto confusing..its a part of life i think..we change and therefore friends may change as well..it might hurt the initial stages but i think time heals that..

Are you wrong to avoid them? What should one do in this situation.

ask anyone any question
7

Re: ~! Advice on friends.

^ hmm thanks, It makes more sense now...

but doesn't it hurt, when you call them once in a while, and they act like they don't care anymore, they make you seem like the bad guy...

8

Re: ~! Advice on friends.

Well I dunno about that..yeah it definitely would hurt though..

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Re: ~! Advice on friends.

Maybe it's wrong but I can be very black and white when it comes to people. If I don't trust someone or a friend is not respectful and nice as I am with them, then I can easily say good-bye. I cannot live with toxic feelings inside of me nor can I have just superficial relationships. I find that as I get older, maturity forces me to want deeper connection with people. Sure we all friends we just hang out with and socialize with. But those are more like aquaintances. Who really knows you and respects you? It's a matter of priority. You have to decide what you value in your life. If you're moving in a different direction from your friends then you don't want them to hold you back. At one point I found that most of my friends wanted to hang out at bars and nightclubs and date and I just didn't. Naturally we started to drift apart. I still think about them or email them, but life moves you forward and people change.

10

Re: ~! Advice on friends.

^ sure if you're not "compatible" with someone , you can leave...but you had this Strong attachment before, is that easy to let go of?

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Re: ~! Advice on friends.

Ofcourse it's not easy. But like you said view and perspectives change. You cannot be the same with them as you were before. So wouldn't you naturally feel it's time to move on?

12

Re: ~! Advice on friends.

i agree with Saima....

it is easy to let go when you dont have anything in common left. Typically this means that you and ur friend have grown apart.

Dont think about it much....in the end your relationship will just end up fading on its own.

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Re: ~! Advice on friends.

^ i guess…:bummer:

Let time heal things :smiley:

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Re: ~! Advice on friends.

Time heals :hugz:

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Re: ~! Advice on friends.

^ why doesn't time fly by fast when you want it too :p

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Re: ~! Advice on friends.

Time goes by on the wings of a butterfly
And what goes with it is all that you have
So take the best of every moment, take the best of every man
Then move on and dont look back 

                                    -Zain Bhikha
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Re: ~! Advice on friends.

^ :smiley: :hug: