I’m in a bit of a dilemma. I have a cousin who is basically a scammer & a cheat. He was involved in some kind of money embezzlement scheme & now owes lakhs to people he took money from. But get this he also took money from our own family members & scammed them too. Now it’s all coming to bite him back.
His father who is married to my Aunty wants our side of the family to pay for everything. He is threatening to divorce his wife i.e. the Aunt & kick her out if we don’t do it. They have 4 grown kids & have been married for a very long time so no one expected this from him. He calls my uncles every day & abuses them on the phone because they haven’t paid up yet. Instead of being embarrassed at what his son has done, he’s mad at us for not cleaning his mess.
My parents esp. my dad is very stressed out. We aren’t exactly rolling in money & my mum is worried that my dad will use our savings to save this cousin. My father can be unreasonable & emotional when it comes to these things. I have some money saved from a part-time job in an account in his name & as selfish as this sounds I’m worried that he may use it to help this guy.
If there was a genuine problem here I think we will all do whatever we could to help. But this man has been involved in similar activities before & this time he even stole from our own family. We are at a loss as to what we should do here.
No I think its not that hard if you stick to the moral principle and dont come in blackmailing. Why should your aunt’s family pay at all? And if thats what the husband has worth for his wife that for money he is threatening to divorce, then be it. Tomorrow he’ll find some other reason. And the fact that kids are grown up actually helps a lot. They’ll trash their father (who already owes money) if he divorces so in the end he’ll be the actual and complete loser.
The stronger problems will appear IF you fall for blackmailing and pay them just so he doesnt divorce your aunt after all these years.
There is always that one uncle in Pakistani families who can’t even be compared to a child because that would be insult to children. Like Sid said, I don’t think your family should give into his demands, if you do, in the future there is a very high chance that this behavior will continue and he will keep blackmailing. Seldom do people like that stop after one incident.
Try finding out (through a mufti/aalim) about the ruling for the “validity” for such a conditional divorce where the condition being set is an oppression upon others. I am curious about that.
Have your dad and your other uncles (along with this particular uncle’s sons) had a family meeting about the issue? Maybe they can reach a compromise of sorts. Other than that…maybe you might need to involve law enforcement or seek legal intervention.
This is the crux of the matter. His son is a proper swindler & a known conman. This is the nth time he has been caught in something like this. He is also putting the rest of our family in danger. He took money from local shop owners in the area & they know where his relatives live. They come knocking on their door & threaten them.
Yes. There was a family meeting with everyone. All aunts & uncles. His dad is just really protective of him because his son buys him expensive things with money earned through his cons. It just ended with him giving us ultimatums & threatening his wife with divorce. My poor aunt was just humiliated.
If you go to the Local Thanay Dar where they reside, find out what the penalties are for Daffa Number 420 crime of cheating and dishonesty! penalty can be 7 years in Jail.
they can explain it to him!
or for Extortion it is 386: Extortion – 383. Fear of any injury; Dishonestly induces the person to deliver; Property or valuable security. Punishment of extortion up to 3 year – 384; Punishment of extortion by putting any person in fear of death, grievous hurt up to 10 year – 386. Filed Under: Criminal Law …
^And should she do that, he might actually divorce her then. If the consequences or punishments we suggest do not match the offense…or are irrelevant to the offense (in this case extortion)…then we’re following the same illogical thought as this uncle ji.
It will be much better to take care of your divorced aunt than paying up. This will encourage him to do the same again and again. I have seen this. His only chance is to know that he has to pay for his deeds.
So, why does your aunt want to stay with a man no one can respect? If they stick together will your family ever invite him to your home’s ever again. Honestly the only thing that’ll happen is your poor aunt gets isolated and left to the man’s abuse. I understand divorce is taboo but your family is giving him way too much power. In my family his behaviour would mean complete social, financial ostracizing. Behaving like that wouldn’t mean rug sweeping and pacifying him. It would mean hiring the best lawyers for aunt (with her approval of course) and kicking him out of the family. We’ve had a couple of unexpected divorces and everyone has rallied around their effected family members for support.
Umm.. Get the money out of the account? Why is this even a question? It’s immoral to have money from your kids saved under your own name. You should open their own bank accounts. Why do desis do this?