Thank you everyone! Since everyone gave some great advice, I feel like I should fill you in on what happened at work today.
So keeping in mind that I was not so sure about how much she remembered, well I was WRONG! She remembered this part and whats worse is that she told her "friend" who is also in our firm, who told everyone. Its so high school.
Anyway, I went to the VP and told him that I wanted off the project, he was pretty taken aback so I had tell him the full story. Since everyone knows that I am practicing Muslim, he was pretty nice about the whole thing. He took me off the assignment, but I will still need to wrap things up by this Friday..which means another 4 days around her. I pretty much avoided her the whole day (besides my VP meeting took like 3 hours).
I have gotten 3 missed calls and 2 text messages from her, all saying something to the effect of "I'm so sorry for messing everything up, I don't want to loose a friend." I felt pretty bad but I can't be stupid about this. Besides one night of driving my colleagues home has caused more drama than I am prepared for. Anyways back to my work, gotta catch up because of todays stupidity.
I always think the best relationships come out of familiarity and comfort with the individual. However in this case you are going to encounter a lot of problems from her boyfriend and your own family. The first biggest problem is that she is already taken. I don't think you want to deal with her angry boyfriend.
And even if she does break up, do you think your family will accept her? Ok..maybe you're like you know, they will be happy if they see I'm happy.
Do you think she will be as sincere with you as you are with her? Or do you think she will leave you just as readily as she left her ex?
Another thing...do you think she will become Muslim and change her lifestyle? I think it is really unfair when Muslims present themselves as average Americans and date a girl, and then at the last moment, expect the girl to renounce her religion, lifestyle and friends to conform to their social expectations. Like I=if I dated a guy expecting him to be Paki, and later he told me I would have to become Hindu , I would be really pissed off. It could be an awesome relationship but it could also cause a lot of misery....think carefully before taking any step.
What is holding you from getting married to some decent girl ? The sooner you get married it will be better , in that case you will not have to ask to be taken off the project or ask for a transfer or look for a new job.
On a personal note I do not socialize with co-worker for the purposes of socializing and attend their personal parties. I do attend official parties, people know about my habits and do not invite me to those kind of parties, I am telling you this so that you can stay out of trouble by avoiding those kind of parties. I am not saying you do not go to any of the parties but you should pick and choose. Networking is also a fact of work life.
What is holding you from getting married to some decent girl ? The sooner you get married it will be better , in that case you will not have to ask to be taken off the project or ask for a transfer or look for a new job.
On a personal note I do not socialize with co-worker for the purposes of socializing and attend their personal parties. I do attend official parties, people know about my habits and do not invite me to those kind of parties, I am telling you this so that you can stay out of trouble by avoiding those kind of parties. I am not saying you do not go to any of the parties but you should pick and choose. Networking is also a fact of work life.
I'll be brutally honest here: I am holding myself up from getting married to some decent girl. Since I don't plan on divorcing ever, its a pretty big deal for me to find that right person. By right i mean right for me, it does not mean perfect.
I am sorry brother (sister?) if you think that having a wife will stop people, then I am sorry to say that you are being naive.
Just to give you an idea, I work pretty long hours and with a given team on specific assignments. We really work closely and probably more aware of our very personal details because of the time we all spend together. This no 9-5 cut and dried job here.
Everyone knows I am a Muslim and no one even offers me drink, out of respect. When we are traveling my colleagues ask if kosher breakfasts or vegetarian food is available for me. The parties and the after work events are really important because they bring the team together, besides these people have become my good friends because they are equally (if not more) intelligent than i am and they understand the lifestyle. If I stop participating, it will significantly impact my on the job performance.
Besides its fun to watch all these tough guys and pretty girls at the lounge being complete train wrecks :D
you can save a life by becoming a really strong person and enabling your friend to learn to value her life.
such friends, especially men, are rare, who honor their word and truly care above selfish motives.
never ever lie to your own self. if you like someone, or you like something that you would like to have, honestly say so in a dignified manner.
if you dont, however, then make it clear just as firmly.
Thank you everyone! Since everyone gave some great advice, I feel like I should fill you in on what happened at work today.
So keeping in mind that I was not so sure about how much she remembered, well I was WRONG! She remembered this part and whats worse is that she told her "friend" who is also in our firm, who told everyone. Its so high school.
Anyway, I went to the VP and told him that I wanted off the project, he was pretty taken aback so I had tell him the full story. Since everyone knows that I am practicing Muslim, he was pretty nice about the whole thing. He took me off the assignment, but I will still need to wrap things up by this Friday..which means another 4 days around her. I pretty much avoided her the whole day (besides my VP meeting took like 3 hours).
I have gotten 3 missed calls and 2 text messages from her, all saying something to the effect of "I'm so sorry for messing everything up, I don't want to loose a friend." I felt pretty bad but I can't be stupid about this. Besides one night of driving my colleagues home has caused more drama than I am prepared for. Anyways back to my work, gotta catch up because of todays stupidity.
it had happenend to me in past, when a drunken friend of mine had a so called confession, but guess what, she wasn't drunk. Personally, i wouldn't mind marrying a Christan girl, since its not prohibited in Islam. as per reactions from her BF, it shouldn't bother you cuz that's her problem, let her deal with him. if she is getting serious with you, i think a good practicing Muslim can fix things, such as setting a good example to quit drinking n stuff. my suggestion'd be to have a serious discussion outside work at some dinner or lunch and find out what she is looking for? a serious relationship or a friend with benefits!
never ever lie to your own self. if you like someone, or you like something that you would like to have, honestly say so in a dignified manner.
if you dont, however, then make it clear just as firmly.
What are you saying? Sure if she didn't drink, wore modest clothes, and did not have a bf, I'd say that I liked her too..But obviously complex than that. I don't get into situations where my religion is comprised so the answer would be no.
The brain has to override the heart on such important matters. To bad she has good heart but a foolish mind.
it had happenend to me in past, when a drunken friend of mine had a so called confession, but guess what, she wasn't drunk. Personally, i wouldn't mind marrying a Christan girl, since its not prohibited in Islam. as per reactions from her BF, it shouldn't bother you cuz that's her problem, let her deal with him. if she is getting serious with you, i think a good practicing Muslim can fix things, such as setting a good example to quit drinking n stuff. my suggestion'd be to have a serious discussion outside work at some dinner or lunch and find out what she is looking for? a serious relationship or a friend with benefits!
Good Luck!
Thanks bro..I am glad to see that someone can relate. Right now I am keeping my distance but feel pretty bad about it because its like I shut her out completely after that Friday.
Bro, the problem is that I am not sure if I have the capability to fix things like drinking etc. I mean I live my life and let other do the same. I mean its not shes some Mormon chick so things would be a bit easier in terms of lifestyle. I'll see how things go after a period of cooling off.
Besides I am on a new project and looking forward to it!
She is B chalakoo Pak 1..........same thing 1 of my cousin started to do with my brother.......like washing.........giving breakfast............and other things............but my mom didn't let her do.
She is not good.
Stay away from her. She must have done on purpose..........these type of ladies......try to find simple ppl to fool.
Get married with some good religious person if religous persons are available then why go for a drinker and boyfriend maker..........That type of ladies won't raise your kids your way but her way.