Advice Needed on How To Handle Argument

[stoppit]

Re: Advice Needed on How To Handle Argument

@KhaZa1216

I have a toddler and just had a second baby two months ago. I live in the uk. Thank you for all your replies. I will try to be more proactive but surely demanding that I start now is completely unrealistic. I lost a litre of blood during labour and thats why my iron is now low and my thyroid levels are all over the place. Plus I’m up all night with baby feeding every two hours. He feeds every two hours during the day too, if I put housework before my own health in the times I have free I’ll just get more tired and more ill. Its like he’s lost all sense of logic or reason

I tried to speak to him again last night but he is just completely dead set against listening to anything I say. I’m just completely shocked at his attitude. He’s never been like this. From his words it just comes across that he thinks everything I do concerning the kids or even in the house is wrong. He doesn’t think I’m capable of looking after both and just kept saying how I’m relying on his family, which doesn’t make sense because I’ve just had a baby two months ago!?? I’m not superwoman!
Plus my FIL last night just kept going on and on about how I am not capable of looking after both children! Baby had colic last night quite bad and he kept saying “Give him to MIL you obviously don’t know what to do here” its just colic! Babies cry when they have colic!
And worse I just had an argument with my MIL this morning where she said I deliberately made my baby cry to wake up and annoy my husband, that I’m that kind of woman who uses her kids against her husband and he’s such a good husband to me, I’m so lucky but I’m ungrateful???
Its like everyone’s gone mad!

I’ve decided she’s not going four full days. I’ve got the form, I’ll fill it in myself and send it off. Two morning sessions. If he says anything I’ll just tell him I was being proactive like he wanted. It feels like everyone is against me.
I don’t understand why he’s like this. He’s treating me like I’m a stranger.

I feel so bad for you. Yes it’s true that you probably can’t cope with both and no one should expect you to. Your husband should be helping you. Whatever his work is, it’s nothing compared to the post birth time, breastfeeding every 2 hours when you are not getting much sleep and your body is trying to recover.

I don’t think his parents are helping if they are making comments about you not being capable.

All I can say is just focus on your children and only do whatever you can manage. Just ignore their comments and attitude. InshAllah when the baby is a bit older and you are back to being able to cope with the kids and the house duties things will improve. I know it’s horrible to think that when you need your husband he’s not able to or unwilling to help or at least cut you slack but I don’t know what to say about that.