Yes i am white not english but i am from muslim background but i dont think that will matter to them anyways( yes you are right his ex was muslim as well) i appreciate the reply . Now i know what to do , probably my expectation were a bit higher . **Probably is my fault of not talking to him from the begining **because when we start hanging out i didnt expect to get attached to him and neither wanted to put a pressure , its been 6 months now and i dont want to have hopes for something that has no future now I will just back off .
1) You are correct that it doesn't matter (Re: Your ethnicity). The point here is that you are not Pakistani.
2) I know this is harsh but yes, this is your fault for not bring up the issue of whether this is a relationship which will lead to marriage OR a "friends with benefit" situation. You chose to get physically involved with a guy and continued to do everything a girlfriend would do without any commitment from him. He never misled you or lied to you. He never even referred to you as his GF let alone promising marriage! Your behavior led him to believe that you were fine with being his friend and sleeping with him without the expectation of marriage (and btw plenty of girls are ok with this so he's not crazy in thinking that you would be ok with this). All you can do at this point is learn your lesson. Next time.....don't continue a romantic relationship with a guy for so long without clarifying exactly what the status of the relationship it (ie. friends vs. GF/BF and whether it's leading to marriage).
Thank you for all replies
I did talked to them and see different side of his , basically he said he never talked about it as he was afraid he will lose me , he asked me not go leave him etc since them he been calling and texting a lot . I can see even if he got feelings for me he wont stand up again for love and even if he stands up his family wont approve only way that we can be together will be if he leaves his family but i dont want that and i will never put him in situation like that family comes first ... He said he is again in same situation as before . He talked very straight forward and emotional but even i heard things i wanted to hear i couldnt stay as there wont be a way to be together even if he does want to be with me .
Anyways thank you all for the advice
Listen girl, I know of a really good Pakistani friend of mine here in Dubai who got involved with an Egyptian girl. Both are my friends of sorts. What happened in the end? My best buddy ended up dumping the girl, because his family and mum wouldn't approve. Not all Pakistani men have the spine necessary to tackle their mums especially and speak up about the woman they love; want to include in their lives permanently.
It's your fault too, Op. Cuz it takes two to tango and you shouldn't have done with him all that you did; you should have respected yourself more than he did. But the difference between you and him is that yout feelings for him seem more sincere because you wanted to be with him ...you wanted a future with him...you wanted to give this relationship an honest chance....you would have stood up for him. The fact that he wouldn't do that for you shows that he was not as sincere with you no matter how much he claims to care/love/respect you. He got sexual with you.....but at a later point.....when it became inconvenient for him (due to family or work or whatever).....he would have "let you go." That shows his lack of sincerity. And that is the reason why I have less sympathy for him.
Make your tawbah to Allah and don't ever repeat the same mistakes again. Don't let your guard down so easily again.
Yes redvelvet you are right
He said he wanted to be with me and repetedly said he is not ready to lose me , but he dont give me no choice . He said is not only his family ( mom and dad ) is the family around couisins aunties uncles all relatives etc he sais his mother wants him to be happy but the rest of the family will be ashemed that he wont marry within the family, he said he got an uncle who got married in America to non pakistani and the whole family dont talk to him for last 20 years , i offer to him i even can go Pakistan and stay there for a bit so the family will get to know me and see i am willing to do anything i will treat his parents like my own
I should not have slept with him thats correct
Now the damaged it is done i feel dissapointed
He said to me he dont want to finish it wants to keep seeing me only seeing and talking but for me there is no point as that is not what i want . I've learned my lesson it will take me sometimes to get over it .regards
^^^This and i would say..as a general point of view. Whenever anyone gets themselves involve physically..this eventually becomes emotional too. Especially for a woman. Now..if he really liked you..he would have had shown you some effort that he wants to be with you. If this is not happening..i would advise you detach yourself away from all this.
Men and Women can be friends..only if the boundaries are set from beginning. But in majority and majority of cases perhaps..men and women do fall for each other. Again..i would say boundary needs to be set.