hmm the grandma type I doubt will be well enough herself to take care of my infant.. trust me, you need a lot of energy for that. We can't afford one of those certified ones for now, they'll possibly take more than half my salary and then workin will be a time waste. and like you said, that's just what I am telling myself now. That I will be leaving my kid in Allah's trust and He will look after my baby. Amazing thing you said HUsmani. It makes me feel so much better already :)
**
Allah be our protector, iA...aameen..
u mentioned OSAP [Ontario Student Aid Program]. i assume u r in Ontario somewhere so am i. i'm in Lucknow, Ontario near sarnia. in Ontario there are financial help available towards the babysitting costs. i wud urge you to plz explore that possibility. Good Luck and i pray for you and May Allah guide u and be ur and ur family's protector aameen**