^ i think that what you're doing is incredibly brave and you are a strong woman for doing it. the fact is that living in north america, being able to stay at home with your baby for any period of time, is a big luxury, and not a lot of people can afford to do it. we're lucky in canada with our 1 year mat leaves but in the US, i think its only 3 months?? how do you think women manage there?
like mamaof3 said, YOU are your baby's mom and regardless of who sits for her during the day, she will love YOU as her mother and look to you always. a babysitter will never be a substitute. so don't even worry about that. if this person is qualified to babysit, then she'll take care of your baby, and this would be one-on-one care, i'm assuming, which is miles better than a daycare where your babe would be 1 of 20.
there's more, so let me sum it up in point form: 1. when you are more financially stable, you'll be happier knowing that you are taking care of things for your collective future. and when you spend time with your daughter, neither of you will be stressed about that. 2. you're doing this for your family. what could be more important than that? i commend you for being your husband's support and strength in this time- i know girls who would just buckle, whine and cry about it but not lift a finger to help out- useless, shameless attitude IMHO. your husband is your partner in life and he needs you right now, and yes, your baby needs you too, but you aren't abandoning her God forbid! this is completely and totally normal in canada, in this day and age. you have NOTHING to justify or feel guilty about. 3. your husband has hours he can adjust- how awesome is that? you know in ontario mat leave can be split up between parents- maybe when you are settled in your new job (which, btw, is amazing that you'll be able to work at a place you really want to!), then your hubby can take his share of mat leave for a bit. your daughter will get a chance to bond with her father in a way very few infants do. 4. consider this an opportunity to have the best of everything- a fantastic start to a career, a husband who isn't stressed out of his mind over money, and a beautiful baby girl to top it all off.
you do what you need to do to make your life better for you, your husband and your daughter. screw everyone else who tells you otherwise. no two families are alike- one of my best friends also left her son with a neighborhood babysitter when he was younger for similar reasons, and he did extremely well. she didn't have to worry about picking him up from daycare at exactly 6, she knew he was steps away from other family and with someone completely reliable, and now, after she put in that time, mA they are in a position where they can do so much more for their child and themselves.
no, money isn't everything, but it definitely helps make life easier. (and please, to everyone who's gonna rail about how it doesn't buy happiness blah blah blah... re-read what i said).
you'll look forward to picking her up at the end of each day and you will have weekends with your beautiful baby. leaving her at a babysitter's isn't the end of the world. and if you want to continue breastfeeding, start pumping! if you look at this as an opportunity to grow as a person, as a mother and as a wife, you can get through this.
your positive attitude is your best asset! (how Hallmark am i? lol)
also, please avoid grandma's. yes, grandmother love is special, but babies needs a lot of time and energy, and you want to leave your baby with someone who can manage her, even in a God forbid, emergency situation. i'd make sure your would-be sitter knows CPR, for additional peace of mind, but beyond that, trust in Allah and everything will work out just fine iA.
SGC, you're just amazing. You've no idea how much better you just made me feel. I was always skeptical over my decision and even some close friends hav said some real mean things to me like omgg, I could never abandon my baby like this, or another one with a 'is that why you gave birth to your baby.' My only support right now, my husband and my parents who know what shoes we're wearing right now.
Youve just put everything in perspective spot on! I feel good abt myself and my decision. Like you said, everything is for the betterment of our family and the mental peace it will bring to us will outshine any other blessing I couldve asked for. Ànd beyond anything else, I will be leaving her with the babysitter in Allahs trust. Nothing gives more solace than that :)
I thank you from the bottom of my heart (seriously). I was almost down in the scums!!