That's not a very big issue but not something to ignore even. So I guess whatever you are doing is right.
Also make this clear to him that you WILL check his homework everyday or atleast twice a week from now on. You need to put a strict check on him.
I know , overall , he is a good kid. Everybody loves him , I do too. I would do anything to keep him happy that is why he took the liberty to do what he did. I am in constant check with his teachers via emails to make sure I know what homework he has and follow through to make sure he has done it. If he does it all then he is free to do whatever he wants to.
I don't have kids but I'm keeping myself at his place right now and speaking from his perspective.
If he is a good kid then surely he will show remorse. And that remorse will make him gain your trust again inshaAllah.. by keeping school work first and socializing second.
he's 16 and most 16 year old will break their parent's trust. So you tell him how to earn it back. Make ground rules crystal clear. No ambiguity on rules and their consequences.
it may be a huge deal to you, but just a mistake for him, he probably thought he would not get caught.
if this is just about the grades/homework, then you just need to figure out why he didn't focus on the academics, is it just purely due to neglect or is there a deeper issue he isn't telling you of? It could very well be because he's being a typical 16-year old or it could be that there is something else on his mind....so i dunno. But if it is the former then your strict measures are fine, otherwise he needs some other type of guidance...
Sounds like a good idea. Can you provide some details what kind of mentor are you talking about ?
I have not taken his cellphone away , want to make sure he does not spend too much time on phone , on the net, watching TV, socializing etc. Nothing is banned for him , he is not grounded either. He needs to cut down on all these activities His top priority should be his studies then everything else.
It is not about a girl friend. I have told him I have no objection over him having girls as friends , but a girlfriend is not allowed and he understands the difference.
His female friends are allowed to visit him at our home . The kids he hangs around are all good kids.
I was following through with him on his homework , he has been telling me he is on top of it and has everything under control. I would even check it to make sure that he has done it all.
But he has been hiding some homework which would require him to put more time into it and cut down his extra curricular activities . He opted to socialize and did not do his homework. I found that out when I saw his progress report. Which he tried to hide.
Looks like you did not read the whole post and I do not blame you since it is a long post. Thanks for participating.
What's the point of listing and articulating all those consequences if they aren't real?
sounds like you have been treating him with respect already by giving him several privileges and choices.
he did what a teenager will do and you outlined the new consequences.
at this stage I would simply monitor and follow through.
teenage is another phase......it will pass.....he's not doing anything majorly wrong......
you and wifey have done a good job thus far.....have faith.
hope she feels better.
^ i agree with Muzna. Sounds okay to me. Very "modern" parenting i must admit. If that were me back when i was 16, id be running away from mums chappals! :(
woah, you threaten him to take him to court and you except him to behave? come on
16 years of brought up under your supervision and all of a sudden you implement curfew and except the total opposite?
i am in no position to judge on your parenting but i am almost double ur sons age, but man i tell you if it wasnt for my father and his brought up, i would literally be in a grave by now
He agreed to it all because I told him he has two choices:
1. I take him to the court and put all the proofs in front of a judge and tell the judge this guy does not want to live a family life , he does not want to follow the rules and I do not want to be arrested for child abandonment by kicking him out so he needs to be put in a foster home.
2. Or if he still wants to live with us in this family and enjoy a good family life , he need to follow thru on each and every word of mine and live happily ever after.
He opted for the second. He is only 16 years old , what choice does he has ?
So my question anything wrong with this picture ? Any more tips and tricks ?
dear father.. you made a mistake by giving him too much at his age..... khair its not too late, at this stage YOU have to deal with him, Not his mother (like someone mentioned above)...and threatening does work... my bro in his teen gave us tough time too and one of our family friend pretended to be a police officer called him and gave him some serious warnings....and it helped alot....
* my brother still doesnt know who was that police officer... lol .....