For those who have adopted or thinkinf of adopting - do you feel there is a right age for the child that you adopted?
If the child is a baby, does it makes family adjustment easier? harder?
Re: Adoption: what age is the ideal for adoption?
I know someone in my extended family who adopted a boy when he was in grade 6. The boy did not want to leave his parents but the parents were so poor that they were ready to get rid of some of their children. First the daughter was suppose to be given for adoption but she was too adamant on not leaving her parents so this boy had to go. Last thing I heard was that he was being used in the house as a maid. I have never seen this from my own eyes but his new parents don't take him anywhere like in weddings etc and obviously neither they think of him as a son and neither he think of them as parents.
I won't comment on the right age for adoption but there should be willingness on the part of parents to accept the kid and love him/her like their own. In the above situation I feel sorry for the kid.
Re: Adoption: what age is the ideal for adoption?
^that is soo wrong. looks like they got a free maid in the name of adoption! People like these make my blood boil!! :-(
I have heard that many people especially Pakistani insist on adopting a small baby preferably boy.. partially because they think it will be easy for them to adjust but then I know someone at work who adopted 2 kids (age 6 n 8) and yes both boys had behavioral issues in the beginning but the parents took the maternity/paternity leave and spent time with them.. connected emotionally and they are one of the happiest family ever!! we love seeing the boys at the holiday parties etc.. I love their manners, respect for elders, etc (now they are 8 and 10 :-)
ps: the couple is also a foster parent and they usually have 2 or 3 foster kids at home too and both these boys treat them like their lil brotehrs n sisters and even suggest adopting all of them :D mom is so proud of them :-)
Re: Adoption: what age is the ideal for adoption?
Daimond321 - that is truly sad and disgusting.
My sister is pretty strong advocate of adopting kids at a older age because they have the least chance of being adopted and that's what she intends on doing. She always gets push back that it's is easier to make that family bond / connection with a baby but GTG example just proves that once you make the time to do something right - it's actually achievable.
GTG - were the 6 and 8 year old boys brothers?
Re: Adoption: what age is the ideal for adoption?
yep they were biological brothers and had been in and out of the foster homes since the day they were born.. their last stop happened to be at this family's house when the biological mother decided to put them up for adoption (she had been in and out of the jail for drugs etc) and the family decided to adopt them!
I remember she worked very hard towards it.. she took them to therapists.. she took them to their old neighborhood to play with the kids they grew up with but slowly they started to like it here and adjusted quite well!