Re: Adopting while single?
It's not only about YOU though, it's also about the CHILD. The child also needs a daddy. And I wasn't talking about the relationship stress here. I'm talking about the stress that you'll get from a kid when you get back from work. Once you're in that situation you'll know what I'm talking about. Good Luck.
Re: Adopting while single?
^ I'm speaking from experience. I was raised by a single mother and she did JUST fine in raising me. I've NEVER felt the need for a father figure in my life. I HATE my father and did just fine WITHOUT one.
I always thought that if I wasn't married by 30, I'd try to adopt a baby/child. I've always wanted children...they are one of the greatest joys in life.
Would you adopt a child if you were single and just didn't meet Mr./Mrs. Right?
I was watching The View the other day and they showed a single lady in her 40's that adopted the most adorable guatamalan baby ever. She and her toddler seemed SO happy...it was beautiful watching it.
You're thoughts?
I totally saw that episode of the View and have always thought the same thing. In all fairness for the child I need to be financially sound and stable. I have always wanted to adopt regardless but it looks like I'll be single too. However, I don't think they'd let you adopt from Pakistan if you are single :(
Re: Adopting while single?
I totally considered adopting an orphan once... Preferably a boy.
If i had never married and if my mortal life was doomed to wander this earth as a wandering warrior then i would have adopted a son to be my dicsiple i would have taught him all i know and travelled far and wide....
Taking my skills with me and my "son" would continue my journeys long after i had been laid to rest.
He would be free to make his own choice but if he chose my path then i would have left an hier and a phenomenal warrior behind me.
Alas i pray this is not going to happen becuase i want to live in peace with my Wife and my own children.
But if destiny wills i lose everything a second time then perhaps i will have to take my skills and find my succesor.
And if a girl was the only thing i could find then she would be the best of my students and possibly if she wanted to be, my diciple.
^ I'm speaking from experience. I was raised by a single mother and she did JUST fine in raising me. I've NEVER felt the need for a father figure in my life. I HATE my father and did just fine WITHOUT one.
Do you think that your relationship with your dad might be related to why you are not married yet? I mean are you maybe prejudiced against men?
Anyway, one can ofcourse rais a child without a father, yeah. One could even drive a car with their feet If one wanted to, but that doesn't make it a good idea...It's not how it's supposed to be done. For a good reason that is.
Re: Adopting while single?
^ Its a fair point but in my own case i was raised for two years by mother without ever seeing father… then when father came and saw son number 4 outta five he simple thought heck what a monster…
I never really got on with my father becuase when i was still young he sent me away with my great uncle and i didn’t see him again till i was 14 and could kill a man bare handed… lucky for him i didn’t kill him and i’m glad i didn’t.
But i hated him for what i thought was neglect on his part, how was i to know we were so poor to afford me… but i made up and am now 
Re: Adopting while single?
But you still had a father figure though, no? I mean your great uncle.
I personally also don't like my dad and grew up with my mom because my dad had to take care of his other family. But yeah, while growing up there was something missing and that was a father figure I guess.
Re: Adopting while single?
What does Islam say about adoption? As an adopted boy could have being the non- mehram issue with the single mom later on. Am not sure but I heard something like that.
Re: Adopting while single?
Yeah your right.... everyone needs a father figure... though i guess it's a must if your a lad.
In my case Great uncle was more of a father spiritually becuase he had no son of his own but was a... i guess what you would call Martial artist in english.
So he was more than a father figure for me he was lord and master... though he never let me feel like a son for he never gave me a fathers love... he gave me more than that.
He taught me how to live and how to carry on the traditional paths... i was brought up by his iron fist and taught a level of dicipline and respect none of the other city or village lads ever learned.
Even my own father was mortified by my backward ways becuase i had spent the greater part of my life as a tribal.
It shaped me as a youth and it made me the man i am today. I thank Allah i was lucky to have such a father figure... becuase in times when my own father was a modernist and a liberall minded man...
i was saved and could get a full feel of my faith and culture.... and choose my own path in life accordingly. I still love my father but i hate him for what he showed as neglect.
In desi culture there are still many fathers who are either too weak in character or too forcefull... i have yet to see a desi man bring up kids with a balance of both.
Not sure about adoption in Islam but adopting an orphan is not a bad thing and i'm sure it's encouraged... or at least it was.
^ I'm speaking from experience. I was raised by a single mother and she did JUST fine in raising me. I've NEVER felt the need for a father figure in my life. I HATE my father and did just fine WITHOUT one.
oh wow I did not read this. I love my father and he is the best human being I know. So if the issue of wanting to adopt due to an absent father is a stereotype then I do not fit it at all. There are so many children that need love, education, and homes. I do think a child needs both a mother and father figure but who says a woman needs to be married to provide that for their child? there are uncles, grandfathers, brothers, and friends who do that job just fine.
Re: Adopting while single?
^ Agreed:k:
Re: Adopting while single?
OMG....I NEVER SAID I AM UNMARRIED.
I AM A MARRIED GIRL and was only thinking of WHAT IF I never got married....then by age 30 I'd want to adopt!
Please go back and read my original post...I NEVER SAID I WAS UNMARRIED. GEEEZ.
Re: Adopting while single?
Furthermore, my wanting to adopt had NOTHING TO DO with the absense of a father figure in my life.
I made it very clear that I've always wanted children and if GOD FORBID I didn't find true love then I wouldn't want to let that get in the way of still having a child!
Please don't JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS. I clearly stated my reason for adopting was because I wanted the joy of a child in my life...married or unmarried.
Re: Adopting while single?
If you ask such questions, don’t you think that some might guess that you are not married? LOL
And If people want a religions POV about this. Since in Islam you don’t really “adopt” a child but only take guardianship. The child will be non-Mehram, so it might be a problem when the child gets older. That being If the child is of the opposite sex of course.
Re: Adopting while single?
^ I understand now thanks for explanation though 
If you are that desperate for a child, why not have it with one of mister wrongs that are available and then divorce him and take the child with you?
This will at-least give you your own child and there is a good chance that by the time you have the child, that mister wrong may turn into mister right 