This has happened second ime in our family in recent times that someone has adopted a child. First, one of my second cousin adopted a girl after 8 years of her marriage without having any kids- later on she has 3 more girls of her own!! Now, my first cousin has recently adopted a baby-girl - she got her adopted from Hyderabad Sindh- from unknown sources and background. We have to visit her soon. How different is it while meeting such parents and congradulating than parents who are blessed with their own babies?
Re: adopted babies
It is the same...don't even think it's different..congratulate them...let the parents guide you on how open they want to be about discussing the adoptoin..btw i have a friend who adopted a girl then had her own boy she continues to note that her daughter takes after the her father....in an odd way the baby though adopted looks like her papa. :) parents are parents..:)
Re: adopted babies
Love is love is love is love......love is what matters most, the love you can give a child and the bond that you develop. Whether its your own or adopted, for the parents he/she probably loves equally...so don't treat any differently. Surprise them with plenty of gifts as you would for any new parent!
Re: adopted babies
yup..treat em like any new parent
Re: adopted babies
my mom's adopted.
Re: adopted babies
This has happened second ime in our family in recent times that someone has adopted a child. First, one of my second cousin adopted a girl after 8 years of her marriage without having any kids- later on she has 3 more girls of her own!! Now, my first cousin has recently adopted a baby-girl - she got her adopted from Hyderabad Sindh- from unknown sources and background. We have to visit her soon. How different is it while meeting such parents and congradulating than parents who are blessed with their own babies?
All I would say is even if you are well intentioned dont pry. The one big issue in Pakistani culture (among others) that goes against adoption are parents fears that people will not treat the adopted kid right..and that is why majority of adoptions in Pakistan are of new borns and kept a secret.
There is sosmoen on GS who was adopted, and it was kept hush hush, and when ppl found out, this person was not treated well by teh family. Many ppl keep it a secret for that reason. and those who dont, that is a concern that they carry.
Speaking from our own experience, we get asked that question all the time, and I guess lucky for us and the kids we have the info on the parents/family. The inquiries in most cases were harmless but in some cases they were malicious...interrogation like, what the background of the kid, do you know anything about the parents, why was he/she abandoned can be really upsetting to folks.
One couple in their 50s did not adopt for decades because the husband was concerned that he would have to listen to this stuff, among other things. Thankfully after we adopted, they saw how the family and community was treating the kids and decided to adopt as well. And by all means your questions could be just curiousity, or just to know more and to make them feel you share in their happiness, but if the parents have had to deal with prodding and poking by others who did it maliciously, they may be a little sensitive.
be with your relatives the way you would be if the lady had given birth and not adopted. so for congratulating ...do the same you would do otherwise.