what’s wrong with me? I got married 2 months ago husband from pak i am from USA right now in karachi. so my birthcontrol failed and i am pregnant but i am not happy cuz i didnt expect it to happen this quickly i just want to know how to get over these feeling?
Re: adivce
Remember that whatever happens, happens with the will of Allah. No matter what you did to try and avoid pregnancy, you were always destined to become pregnant at this time.
We tend to set expectations for our future (it's normal) and when those expectations don't go to plan then we often feel down and depressed. But like I said, you should always remember and engrave it into your brain that not even a leaf falls from a tree but with the will of Allah.
Now cheer up and get ready for your new baby. May Allah bless you with many joys in both your marriage and your family life, insha-Allah. Ameen. :)
Re: adivce
Well, firstly what do you want to do? You and your husband must talk about this and see how you plan this out.
Do you guys not want kids yet? How likely will your life (personal and professional) change with this kid?
I would say be happy that you will have a baby and plan your future around it :)
Re: adivce
My second pregnancy was unplanned. I had started a new job and for some weired reason, I felt embarrassed.
after a while I told my manager about my pregnancy, my whole team was very excited. We told our son and he was excited too and I started to feel better. Eventually I loved the whole pregnancy time.
As above poster said, life comes with Allah's will so be contented with what Allah has willed for you.
Motherhood will change so much for you and in the good sense inshaAllah.
Is your husband not excited either ?
I am sure when you tell everyone arond you, they will get excited and happy for you and you will start feeling better.
Re: adivce
No family planning is 100% sweetheart-welcome to the real world.
However as others have stated everything happens by the will of Allah and for the best.
Sometimes when things don't go as you expect or plan you can feel down or sad about the situ. In particular thoughts of 'what if' start entering your head. In my own experience that's fairly normal; and becoming a parent is a big step even in a marriage.
What you really need to do is sit down with your husband and discuss this. Has your husband got immigration clearance to enter the States already? If not I'm assuming the American system is like the UK; which would mean you would need to return to the States, work and then apply for his visa. With a baby you'll need to consider who will look after the baby if you do have to work. All these things need to be discussed with your husband so you are both aware of what this baby now means to your relationship. As long as you both understand what this means and how it may effect your case (if that's the case) then InshAllah you'll be fine.
The key is communication.
Good Luck with everything and congrats on the wedding!
Re: adivce
Saying prayers, reading and listening Quran with translation will help be thankful for the this blessing.
Re: adivce
Be thankful. There are many people out there who are willing to do anything for a child.
Say Alhumdulilah and plan/hope for the best!
Re: adivce
^^
So true... I agree it is easy to give advice but still. Look at things positively. Thank God for the gift. Remember the earlier that you have a child, earlier would the child grow up and be a support for you. Please do not brood over this. This is the time to be happiest so that the child is born healthy.
Re: adivce
I know you may not have planned for a baby so soon after marriage but everything happens for a reason. Children are a blessing from Allah no matter when they come into your life. At least you're very fertile and didn't have to struggle to get pregnant. Some people want children so badly and will do ANYTHING just to have a baby - and still can't no matter what they do.
Trust me when the little bundle of joy arrives, you will think of this post as silly because your baby will give you the type of happiness and love you never even knew existed. Good luck! May allah grant you a healthy and happy baby.
adivce
Be gratefull, there are a lot of coupled who would do anything to have a child!
Re: adivce
Discuss it with your husband and if you guys don't want it then there are other options.
It doesn't really matter if others cant have babies, its you and your husbands choice.
Re: adivce
I miscarried an unplanned baby. It is wayy tougher and heartbreaking. Give yourself some time and you'll accept and love the baby.
Re: adivce
thx u guys
Re: adivce
Life doesn't always go as planned. I completely understand the feeling that you didn't want to have kids right away. My husband and I planned the same way, and I didn't end up with an unplanned pregnancy... however, I didn't know at the time that there would be other things in store for us.
We had no way of knowing that we'd end up having intimacy problems. Many times over the last couple of years I've wondered if I'll ever be able to have kids. We've been married for 5 and a half years. Recently things went bad between me and his family, and I moved out of their house. My husband and I are quite depressed, and so are his parents. His mother has been acting out towards me. She appears all sad and depressed, but at the same time has done some disgustingly vindictive things.
I feel if we were to have a baby right now, it would be a good thing for many reasons. My husband and I would have something to look forward to and be excited about. It might've even acted as a buffer between me and his mother and brought us all together, who knows?
Anyway, sorry for rambling on, but long story short, we can plan for a lot of things, but life as its own plans for us. Think about this positively, this baby will be the best thing that ever happened to you, just ask any mother. Its the result of love and passion between you and your husband, InshaAllah it'll be healthy, and being a young mother you'll have lots of energy and stamina... these are all great reasons to be happy and excited about it.
I disagree with one of the above comments about still having options at this point. YOU created this life (knowingly or unknowingly), and you are responsible for it. And its a LIFE, a PERSON, not a toy that you can abandon if you feel this is inconvenient for you.
Besides, anyone can tell you that the love you will feel for your child will be more than anything you've felt for anyone else. Even if you're not ecstatic right now, rest assured that when the baby arrives you'll definitely be happy.
Re: adivce
thx so much this really help .... i am praying to Allah and trying to think positive
Re: adivce
If you don't want the baby, we can always start a gupshup adoption center. ;)
Cheer up. You'll have this little bundle of joy in a few months. Focus on taking care of yourself. How you think and feel impacts your body's physiology, which in turn will impact your baby.
If you're in an environment where you are happy, God-willing, you will have a healthy, happy baby. But lots of women who are in a depressed or anxious state will create lots of hormones that are not good for the baby. So listen to good things, surround yourself with good people, have good thoughts and all will be well.