Re: Addressing the step-parent
^ maybe a matter of ego, don't know .. What does the guy do now cos either of his action will be interpreted as siding with one... you see where this is going?
Re: Addressing the step-parent
I thought the dude would side wiht his current wife....after all ex is ex for a reason right?
Re: Addressing the step-parent
Since they decided they will let the child decide what she wants to use to address the step mom and the child has clearly chosen, why is this such a big deal?
Re: Addressing the step-parent
I completely agree with TLK. I've seen situations where the step parent is expected to be ok with being called Aunty/Uncle .... which is totally wrong.
Nobody can replace the role of the biological parent. Neither mother or father. In this kind of situation, one needs to really look at what the child is comfortable with. I'm sure the child is aware that is not their 'real' mother so the ex needs to chill.
Parents really need to be careful not to enter the realm of emotional manipulation of the child. I mean, if she's telling the girl that it's 'wrong' to call her step-mother 'mom', then this 3 year old is going to carry guilt around with her for not only liking her step mother, but also wanting to call her 'mom'. That's not fair on the child. Parents have a way of making their kids feel guilty. Kids are way too young to understand the kind of idiotic manipulative games a parent can play. All they will know is that their mom/dad is sad cause they call their step parent mom/dad. So they end up blaming themselves, and that it's not fair to put any child into that kind of position.
Re: Addressing the step-parent
^ I agree with Mehnaz !
HoweverI would also like to add that a mother is one who carries the baby inside her body for 9 months. Bears all the pain of bringing her to this world. Then she puts up with all the hardships of raising a baby , it's not an easy job. So in my views no other person except for her biological mother deserves to be called a MOM. I would too wouldn't like my daughter calling other woman mom. C'mon it's like zabardasti or free ki mom you are offering to the kid ! It will only confuse the kid and will only hurt the biological mom. They shouldn't have told the little girl to call her step parent a mom in the first place. Not at all fair in my point of view. It should only be done if the girl does not have a mother figure at all in her life.
Think about it, why a step mom takes the unnecessary burden on herself by making someone elses kid call her mom, cause then she has to act like one. Point is, if she made the kid call her mom, I think that only shows that her (step-mom's) intentions are nice and she only wants to make it easy for the kid.
If she was any evil type of step mom, she would've done every thing to make the child feel uncomfortable in her house so she can get rid of the responsibilty.
I would disagree on above ! The thing when your own intentions are good you feel that everyone's intentions are good and don't doubt anyone . I know someone whose MIL made her son (i.e. MIL's grandson ) called mom , the MIL did it it purposefully to hurt her bahu's feelings. She taught her 3 year old grandson to tell everyone that "I am dadi ka beta" and she used to tell this story to everyone and took pleasure from it! She even told everyone that her bahu didn't raise the son but she did.
Some people are neither simple nor decent and can adopt all mean ways to hurt someone.
Re: Addressing the step-parent
maybe the step mom needs to tell the mom about how much closer she feels to the child since she started calling her mom. that's important as well. she's going to go to her father's house who's got a new wife and the wife's going to be dealing with the child as well and i'm sure neither party wants an evil step mother. there is no way that the position of the real mom can ever be taken away but relationships need to be forged as well.
Re: Addressing the step-parent
actually the lady is insecure abt her child that if the child is start calling her step mom "mom"the child in later stage will start treating her stepmom as her actual mother and forget abt her biological mother, this is the only reason why that lady is making fuss abt it.
just convence her that u will not going to take the child away from her biological mother, if the child called her sep mom"Mom"