i remember my Ammi telling me that, in her generation, when she was younger, it was extremely common for individuals who meet someone older than themselves - to have to say “Salaam” or “Adaab” and raise your hand and touch it to your forehead as a mark of respect to the elderly person. i noticed it recently in that drama, Chaandni raatein, as well; it’s within the first 15 minutes of the beginning of the drama, when the first wife is greeting Abijaan (sp) and she raises her hand to her forehead and she says “Adaab”. It’s an indication of respect for someone much older (and presumably wiser) than you.
What other similar cultural remnants that show respect towards one’s elders, exist? The Adaab one is perhaps fading with time. Obviously one very obvious cultural exhibition of respect towards an elder person, is never to be seated higher than them - meaning that, if there is only one vacant sofa seat left in the room, you never ever sit on the higher elevation than someone who is older than you. You always give the more comfortable, higher seat to anyone who is older than you. It sounds weird when i describe it in such a technical format, but i am certain many of you must have done this sub-consciously without realizing it… you automatically never allow an elderly person to sit on the ground or anywhere less comparatively comfortable than your own seat, if it can’t be helped.
It’s a cultural aspect, whether or not we realize it because we have been inculcated with this from our childhoods, so for us it’s not perhaps such a huge issue. But from an anthropological or cultural perspective, it’s one of those cultural indicators that anthropologists would argue define different societies. Besides the two i mentioned above, what other cultural remnants of behaviour towards elders are there in our society?
One that i remember and try to observe as well, is when the family sits on the dinner table/dastarkhuan, even if we are dying to put the food in our mouths, we wait for the elders to take the first serving. I believe this to be a sign of respect as well.
Possession of remote control may be another :D, agar kabhi tv par khabrein lagi hoti hain aur udhar drama aa raha hota hai to khabrein lag jati hain aur we keep pacing up and down in the corridor for them to end asap.
..but as you quite righly pointed out, most of them are fading away with time
We never do the Adaab thing, it's a bit too Hindi-Hindi, we're not really that spohisticated, just say Salaam, and not sit when an elder is standing or sit at the headside of a chaarpai (paki bed) and make an elder person sit at the leg side and we don't start our food till the elders have started.
You are so kind, Khanzada. Thank you yaar for replying in this thread and the other one with positive comments
Completely forgot about this. Yes this is a given as well - you never never eat first… yes you are right, even when we ourselves may be starving, you always make sure that the elders take the first serving.
lolz that’s a very interesting one you pointed out. Would never have thought of that. sigh Back in Abu Dhabi, jab news ata tha on tv, me and my sisters knew that we would NEVER be able to get the tv for ourselves… it was a given that my parents had to watch the news first, then we would be allowed to watch our lafungay programmes
**
Indeed.
Ashti, hmm interesting. Thanks for sharing your comments i appreciate it.
Khanu : Thank u for always asking me to get my first bite in GS meets, i didnt know u respect me this much
As far as i know the history of Adaab goes back to Mughal door, forgot the kings name but it was him who was un happy with the cleanliness measures in his ‘darbaar’ & announced he wont accept any ‘tasleemat’ from any minister unless they get the floor checked first, with time they started to just lean down & touch the floor to check the dust & say ‘tasleemat’, slowly it evolved as a recent adaab today.
In Sindh, leaning a bit & jointly placing both hands in front of chest when greeting someone was a sign of respect, today it more or less became a sign of slavery.
Hindu’s still touch elders or respected ppl’s feets to show we r not even equal to the dust of ur feets, with also giving a chance to elder to put their hand on their head as a sign of ‘Ashirwad’ (dua or a blessing)
Not raising ur voice in front of elders & standing up when they came were few others.
We always touch our foreheads to their (parents, uncles, aunts, much older cousins) palms when we salaam. All my baby nieces and nephews and younger cousins kiss my palm when they greet me.
hmmm nadzzz apart from the ones u mentioned already, standing up when an elder enters a room and not sitting until they are seated...this is a classic but i dont do it with my parents anymore, though i do it with my grandparents...
khanu bhai..POSSESSION OF REMOTE CONTROL...aho good one :D
never sit in the front seat of the car and make the elder person sit behind....
never enter the door before them....
not to sit with legs stretched (when sitting on the floor) or with legs crossed (when seated on a chair/sofa etc)....
I know when I visit my grandparents or older uncles and aunts (older than my parents) then we do bow our head slightly so they can put their hand on our head and give du'a (I actually like this custom cuz I get to collect lots of dua's :))
Also something I used to get scolded on was when sitting on the carpet and the elder is sitting in front of you, not to stretch out your legs in front of them.
