Pink Orchid
Completely understand where u are coming from...but i would advise some caution on your part. Please dont marry your cousin just to make everyone else happy. Marriage isnt a joke..we both know that..but this mentality of surrendering just to keep the peace could possibly ruin ur life in the long term.
Do you know this cousin well? Do you feel that you could spend ur life with him? Are you both compatible?
It would be a complete waste to sacrifice yourself only to end up miserable.
Correct me if i am wrong..but your father was married 3x and you had mentioned in a previous post that your mother loved someone else, but ended up marrying your father..is that how you want your life to be?? I feel like a hypocrite for writing this..given my messed up situation..but think long and hard before coming to any absolute decisions.
Speak to your mother about her failed relationship and if that is what she would want for you?
As for the others out there..plz leave religion out of this...regardless if religion gives or does not give permission..going against ones parents is never easy..as for izzat...i believe it should always be maintained..but Pink orchid..your parents are beyond the par in not returning your potentials phone calls...
i wish i had an easy solution for you...but this is life..and nothing is easy...i would urge u to think long and hard esp about this cousin of yours...or stick it out with this guy..at the end of the day its about the both of you spending ur lives together...
why are parents so difficult???
^ Don't mean to be rude but don't u think it's a bit hypocritical to say 'keep religion out of it' but then mention izzat? Even moreso when izzat is a man-made thing and flawed in that reputation is not everything, family should want to do the right thing regardless of 'what will people say' and the emplasis on just the girls' behaviour to maintain so-called family 'honour' is mad.
Getting married without parental approval should be the absolute last resort but it should still be acknowledged it is still allowed because otherwise there would be girls and buys out there living in misery married to people they don't want or just staying alone and depressed. It should be seen as a last option if everything else fails and they are still absolutely determined. Saying izzat is more important means ur basically saying it's ok for parents to be racist or snobbish in thinking the other person is not good enough simply because of the colour of their skin or their caste.. things they have no control of.
Do agree with everything else u said, esp the bit about the OP's family situation. PinkOrchids, do u not have a sympathetic family member who can talk some sense into ur parents? I mean like an aunt or uncle they will listen to and can make then understand how unhappy u are..
Re: ACK my parents are ruining my life!
can u get the imam from ur local mosque to speak to ur father? or is that just gonna piss them off even more?
i have so much to write but i don't know where to start. i have seen members of my own extended family in ur situation and they gave up their happiness for parents... except it doesn't end there because some parents are just never happy no matter what u do... and now these ppl r stuck in loveless marriages and are so miserable with life.
i know it is hard for any girl to get married without their parents being happy, i dont know how i would do something like that myself but u should seriously consider this option. after all ur life belongs to u. u have every right to be happy as well.
have u ever met the cousin ur parents want u to marry?
Re: ACK my parents are ruining my life!
Well I think the idea of a Imam would annoy them. My dad has the notion its ok for the men to marry out. But not for the women.
I tried to get my aunt to speak to them. But they went on her like a tonne of bricks, leaving her almost whimpering out the room. They are quite strong personalities.
I have seen the cousin. He is a cross between my dad and my uncle. Which, I personally find... Hmmm GROSS? lol
They say hes a reasonable person with a Good sense of humour, etc. But how this person would interact with me I don't know. Theres a lot family history here too.
I dunno running off doesn't seem like a good idea. I would rather get this done civally. I would even prefer them marrying me off and backing off completely.
Because after this my respect for them has wained.
Re: ACK my parents are ruining my life!
that was meant to be waned*
the typo queen has striked again!
that was meant to be waned*
the typo queen has striked again!
struck (unless that was written for self-deprecating purposes)
Re: ACK my parents are ruining my life!
yes it was.
I would even prefer them marrying me off and backing off completely.
^Do you mean to say you'd rather they get you married to your cousin and then back off? Or that they begrudgingly get you married to the guy of your choice..and then back off?
Just find some dirt on your cousin. And if there isn't any....make some up. Frame him.