Accepting gifts from the in laws during the engagement period

[IceSoul]

Re: Accepting gifts from the in laws during the engagement period

@chocolatebuttons

So my mother in law gifted me some clothes while I was visiting her house with my older brother and my bhabhi. Mum and dad were not present and when presented with clothes I told them that I can’t accept these gifts without my parents with me and that when they come round it would be really nice of them to bring them round then. They insisted I take them and I did but when I got home mum was really not happy about how mother in law had not come round to give these gifts herself. She always seems to make an excuse for why she can’t come round.

So this time round we went round and as we were about to leave the presented us with bags of clothes that they had brought back from pakistan for me. We were just visiting as they had returned from Pakistan, we didn’t expect any gifts at all. My mum insisted that we would prefer for them to come to our house and give us the gifts. In my family that is always how it’s done, if you have a gift to give to someone you go to their house and gift it. You don’t give it to them just because they’ve visited your house and it’s easier for you to not have to go round to theirs!

Now upon getting home my fiance has had a go at me. Even though mother in law to be acted like it was fine on the surface - joking that she could gift these clothes to me on the next eid, the reality was that when we left she had a word with fiance. He is now fuming that I ‘rejected’ him. I’ve tried to explain to him that before marriage we don’t accept gifts in this way when visiting the in laws house but that we expect them to come to our house if they want to gift something to us. We have been to my in laws house on numerous occasions but my in laws only ever come to my parents house when they really have to (our engagement and meetings between the families).

My issue is why did mother in law act all nice to our faces, but as soon as we left start filling my fiances mind with this stuff.

Am I in the wrong? I have apologised to him even though I don’t feel I’m in the wrong. If my parents say no to taking gifts from my in laws house if they haven’t come round themselves and actually given them to us at our house then who am I to argue with this? I live at home so naturally I have to do as my parents say. At the same time maybe my parents are being over cautious?

Please advise. I really don’t know what to do.

I pity the fool that is your fiance…