Re: Accepting a partner's health condition
Leaving your partner just becoz of health issues is not right.
Re: Accepting a partner's health condition
It is hard, isn't it?
I would hate to watch it happen...but if you love your partner...what else can you do? Part of love is seeing them happy as well.
This is easy to say now because we aren't in a situation where we have to see a person we love giving love, pleasure, and their life to another person other than us. I don't think it has anything to do with being selfless because we are human, we aren't such saintly creatures. In the long run, it would cause so much grief and negative feelings from within. We destroy ourselves in the name of being selfless. I think there are other ways we can show love from a distance than this most emotionally painful way. I can't imagine a more self destructive, painful way.
And honestly can a human being give equal love to two people? As your love and his new wife develop their relationship together, he would get closer to her more and more distant from you. Why must we see that every day of our lives?
i also have so much respect for such people...i mean isnt that actual love? it takes a really strong and selfless person to do keep up with the illness of their loved one.
I don't know how that would be but a person very close to me recently broke the upper portion of her leg and can't put any pressure on it until the second surgery and it took close to 3 or 4 people to take care of her because she couldn't do certain basic things by herself. When only one person was there to help her do everything, she fell and hopefully her leg's condition didn't get worse but now I can see why actual 6 or 7 professional nurses are needed at the hospital to take care of these patients. They are trained to handle these situations so the patient's condition doesn't get .
My point is that a regular wife or husband or even friend is not trained especially if it's a debilitating disease. It can be so scary and difficult for the one that has to care for him/her. especially if the person has to be bathed, taken to the bathroom, and has to have everything done for them. Imagine the life of both people, the one that needs care and the one that cares for the person. Of course you love the person but it has nothing to do with being selfless. It's a full time job.
Re: Accepting a partner's health condition
i also have so much respect for such people...i mean isnt that actual love? it takes a really strong and selfless person to do keep up with the illness of their loved one.
That IS what love is and what a marriage means. Nowadays sad to say, people care more about how "gora/gori" the spouse is, how rich they are and more materialistic things.
That's all I hear when arranged marriages are talked about in some aunty circles and it just makes me cringe.
I mean whatever happened to sincerity and loyalty? It's sad that people are so selfish and only think of themselves.
Re: Accepting a partner's health condition
On another note, how many of you , when you're old and sick, would want your kids or kids-in-law or spouse changing your diaper? Wouldn't you want a professional to help you with those kinds of things?
Re: Accepting a partner's health condition
On another note, how many of you , when you're old and sick, would want your kids or kids-in-law or spouse changing your diaper? Wouldn't you want a professional to help you with those kinds of things?
no humans being like total dependency, espc for personal matters. So does it matter who helps you? a stranger or a loved one...you are still left helpless and you 'need' the help. The situation for the disabled person is no better in any case imo.
Re: Accepting a partner's health condition
On another note, how many of you , when you're old and sick, would want your kids or kids-in-law or spouse changing your diaper? Wouldn't you want a professional to help you with those kinds of things?
I would never ask them to do it, if they wanted to out of love and kindness I wouldn't decline. I just never want to get to a stage where I need someone to take care of me like that. Mashallah the elders in my family who have passed away never needed that kind of taking care - up until their passing, they were capable of going to the bathroom themselves and walking around.