Acceptable presents for a new SIL?

[Princess1983]

Re: Acceptable presents for a new SIL?

@gudiaali

if you are planning to gift right now and have plans to give other gift on her wedding then these listed gifts seem OK but if you would give this on wedding then to me they doesn’t look appropriate.
the relative as close as SILs usually gift something of a gold to the newly wed bride and with soaring prices of Gold in Pakistan the trend is shifting towards giving handsome amount of cash.
if you would give a book and some scarves to her on her wedding then the truth is that it would be viewed as too cheap. i am not doubting your thoughts or nice gesture but a gift like this coming from a member from in-laws family is not considered good enough here. so you might need to rethink on gift if it is for wedding.

Also you mentioned that ur BIL like girls doing purdah but you have not mentioned if ur SIL also practices it?
you must consider this too before chosing scarves, niqaab for her because if she does n’t do it then she might tihnk that you guys are imposing it on her that she should do it. she might feel offended.

the idea on giving a book on married life is nice but i don’t know why do you say that you would give her a book in Urdu.
to give you the picture, there are many many people in Pakistan that are not good at reading and speaking urdu. even the ones who are well versed with urdu seldom prefer to read books in urdu.

Thank you for the reply!

Firstly, my husband is paying completely for the Wedding-the gold, the meals, venues, clothes, additional costs etc. Adding more gold on is not practical or financially something we can do. As the cost of the Wedding (estimated) is quite a lot giving a handsome amount of cash won’t be advisable either; I’m no longer working as I am a SAHM and although some (not you) will think money possibly grows on trees where I am the truth is we also have to consider the cost of my SILs potential Wedding 6 months after BILs wedding plus our own ticket costs, bills etc. One income needs to cover everything.

Noone batted an eyelid when I was given nothing; so I didn’t really think it would be such a big problem for me to give a gift that would be something I would be happy to recieve. I wasn’t able to keep my Mubaraki money either at my wedding; my in-laws run their home the way they see fit. Thank you for the heads up; perhaps I should missing the Wedding-it seems cheaper!

As for Pardah. Even if she doesn’t do it now it’s expected of her after her marriage-it’s as simple as that. My MIL and FIL expect it and one does as they say unless you want a migraine or divorce.

I mentioned Urdu books as I’ve been told she is fluent in reading/speaking it and also speaks Sindhi. The bookshops I use here have a large collection of books in Urdu but sadly none in Sindhi-I assume the demand isn’t as great for them.

Erm judging by the fact my chosen present maybe seen as cheap am I to assume in Pakistan for some it’s simply a case of money talks? That’s quite sad really.