Acceptable presents for a new SIL?

[Princess1983]

Re: Acceptable presents for a new SIL?

@Paheli00

For a 15-year-old? If she already does parda, then I’m sure she has plenty of scarves and will be given more by her own family. If she doesn’t practice parda, then let her mother, your MIL/BIL deal with it. You should not risk making her think that you’re trying to impose parda on her when a getting gift should bring her nothing but happiness. You can’t control the actions of others…but you can control your own.

Since the gift is for the wedding which isn’t anytime soon…why don’t you start getting to know your future SIL a bit? Start communicating with her through phone/e-mail/chatting etc. Get to know her and find out what type of things SHE likes…not things that your brother prefers or things that has to do with marriage…but what type of things the girl would like for herself personally.

Thanks for that Paheli but I’m not allowed to be in contact with the girl-her family don’t allow in-law contact apart from MIL to MIL. Does that make sense? IF I was to visit Pakistan soon then I would be escorted by MIL to SILs house; and supervised during my visit to see the girl only not to chat. I’ve been told that my BILs in-laws run a tight ship and don’t allow outsiders influence. I’m classed as that as I’m not from a similar background or similar upbringing. That doesn’t bother me as I’m the one marrying her; however getting to know her will be tricky under the current circumstances.

As for me getting stuff that my BIL likes; I just thought it would be easier for SIL to get into the swing of things if she was given an early heads up on what her husband likes? No bad intentions (not that you said there was however I know some maybe thinking this). Unfortunately in my in-laws household you go by their rules and their ways. So even if I do find something that she likes if my MIL doesn’t like it or BIL doesn’t think it’s suitable I’m stuck!

I never thought buying a present would be so hard.

Oh and I forget to put previously; costume jewellery (like the stuff we can get in England) isn’t liked by them either. So no option of buying a nice non-gold necklace etc.