Yes, there is a species out there even more pathetic than FOBs. (no offense to the 99.9 percentage of FOB members here on GS).
And…me being an ex-ABCD and all 
, I’ve decided to take a further look at these dirty little maggots known to be… American Born Confused Desis.
ABCD Girls:
Their mother’s are pretty strict about clothing, but there’s always little loopholes:
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For instance, when your jeans aren’t tight enough for people to be able to see your underwear lining through your jeans, then you simply pull them up as high as possible so they appear tighter. Yes, it may look like you’re wearing high-waters, but it is a sacrifice you are going to have to make.
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If you’re too young for your mommy to let you to wear high heels, then platform shoes are a great alternative. It’s always best to get the kinds that are bright neon colors like pink, orange, yellow, blue, etc. Be sure to buy the ones that are 4 inches high (under the toes), just to give it the extra corny look.
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Buy a huge bubble jacket. This way, your mom won’t see you wearing your brand new spandex shirt you bought from Wal-Mart with your saved-up lunch money as you walk out the door on your way to school.
Hair is always a crucial factor in making you look as slutty as possible. Wavy, frizzy, and tangly is just how guys like it. What turns them on even more is when you don’t brush it for 3 days and just leave it hanging out like wires leaking out of your head. Beautiful.
Make up takes lots of loony skills and it is a requirement to soak your face in foundation every day you walk. If you’re too cheap to buy Revlon and other expensive companies, then just buy NYC. Wear overly-sparkly light blue eye shadow. Who gives a damn if it doesn’t match your outfit. Eyeliner and mascara are also very important and should never be put on lightly. Put so much mascara on that your eyelashes are just one big clump and your eyeliner begins running so you look like a raccoon by the end of the day. Uh oh, don’t smudge.
When your parents drag you to another one of those desi family gatherings in which you sit on some Auntie’s couch just waiting for some food, be sure to take the correct precautions. First, ask your mother which families will be coming over, and if none of the cute guy’s families are coming over, then it’s best to just fake sick. There’s no point in going if you can’t take a peek at one of those gangster-wannabe ABCD guys.
When you go to Pakistan, talk in an EXTREME American accent just to show off infront of your cousins how “modern” you are. If you ever screw up and make an idiot out of yourself, just play it cool, and just say that that’s how it is in America. Attempt to speak Urdu and sound like a total retard because you really “don’t NEED Urdu”. You live in America, so you speak English. Hell, you really wouldn’t even need Pakistan. Yes and keep trying to speak Urdu and sound totally effed up, I’m sure everyone thinks it’s absolutely adorable.
Make friends with other girls like you, or white girls. By hanging out with the gorris, you can learn a lot and start copying off of their every move - maybe even be looked at by another guy. The desi girl friends that you do have are all really only worried about themselves and how they look. They’d ditch you in a heartbeat because they’re so desperate. You will soon realize how ****ty your life really is and how pathetic you’ve gotten to be, all because you hung with the wrong crowd and followed the masses.
ABCD Guys:
First word that comes to mind: poser. They try with all their might to disguise themselves as regular kids. It’s impossible, my child. You’re a DESI. We stand out from the crowd no matter how hard you try to fit in completely.
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Put gel in your hair every morning. So much that your hair feels like cardboard and by the end of the day, you have white flakes in your hair.
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Wear big chains that sway back and forth as you, not walk, but swagger around in your jeans that are fastened right below the butt. (no I am not exaggerating).
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Listen to 50 Cent and maybe someday, you’ll be a mega-poser like he is.
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Try to get cavities so then the doctor fills your tooth in with a silver coating. This way, you can go to school and tell everyone that you got your tooth plastered in platinum.
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Play basketball. It doesn’t matter whether you like it or not. All the cool kids play basketball. No, wait, let me rephrase that: All the BLACK kids play basketball. Now we all know that it’s not easy to be accepted by the “cool black kids”, but if you do, then you’re definately riding high. The easiest way to be accepted by them is to show off your basketball skills. So, be sure to practice your moves for 5 hours a day. No, being cool is not easy.
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Smoke weed and do it only because you’ll look cool and so you have the right to say “Yes I am a drug addict”. If you are asked why you do it, you obviously can’t say it’s because you want to look cool, so you make up a whole story about how stressful your life is “living in the hood, yo”. Then go on to say that you’re grandmother is dying and that you’re sister is in the hospital and your best friend just committed suicide just to get a bit of sympathy.
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Get yourself an ABCD girlfriend, since you really can’t do any better. It’ll work out great. You both can feed off of eachother’s stupidity. Filthy imbiciles.
I mean buying that walmart shirt and covering it with a bubble jacket? 
thanks 
i knew i’d gone too in-depth with that one.
