had to share this. i find that contradictory on so many levels. and i am not saying everyone is like that.
so i know this family, who knows this family. their two oldest girls have recently been married to their cousins, who i think are brothers as well. both the girls are attending college i think. not too sure if they are working at the same time or not.
anyways, the couples had their nikahs done on the phone before hand, and then they imported the grooms, and had a wedding ceremony, the desi style. the men aren’t working in their field as of yet. again, i don’t know if they are even working at all. maybe just doing odd jobs.
so what i find interesting is that the men are asking their wives “aap kya bahar larkon say baat karti hain?” or, “aap bahar jaa kar kya karti hain?”, and other weird stuff that probably begin with the word “aap”
my point with this all, ok so i find the whole jasoosi thing and the word aap weird and ridiculous. like, why do you feel it necessary to know if she talks to men or not? ofcourse they have to! it’s not like you can go through your life without talking to any man that isn’t your husband.
One thing is that ofcourse they are typical. Jasoosi thing is common among people coming from remote Pakistani areas where still the life is very different than the cities. So its very weird for them that girls wearing western clothing going out and working etc.
The reason they're saying "aap". I guess because they're impressed by the girls (i mean the girls might be socially above them) and also since they're working & paying the bills etc etc. It makes the guys behave like that.
Ha...on a 2nd note...if an ABCD girl marry to a Pakistani and settles in Pakistan...she would for sure ask her hubby that why don't you to talk to other girls while you are outside of home... :D
...... "aap" has nothing to do with getting impressed by someone since they are paying your bills or whatever.. its just the way that we have been taught to address someone.. its shows more Respect and well behaved as compared to 'Tuu or Tum'.......
You can't call it jasoosii since they are recently being married... they are just simply might be going through the Obstacles of 'Tajassus' .... besides they have full rights to question their spouses. you being a 'third person' shouldn't be concerned about it
the image that comes to mind…two timid little guys, afraid of their wives, shaking with fear of their green card applications being cancelled…‘aap bahir ja kar kya karti hein’
Vaisay on a more serious note its probably just a bit of a culture shock for them. Considering how in an average Pakistani family women would be discouraged from working in an office environment, its probably hard for the guys to digest that their wives are working women. The idea that their wives interact with males in their absence is probably a cause of discomfort for them regardless of how strictly professional it is. Anyway as long as the wives have no problem with the interrogation i guess its all good, maybe they don;t even see it as an interrogation, It’ll just take the guys some getting used to (or so I hope) and a whole lot of trust in their wive’s too.
no harm with the use of ‘aap’ either, even though it does give it a formal tone but its respectful at the same time so its all good.
Those of you who haven't been to Pakistan lately should pay a visit & see that girls there are working in all fields too. I'd say insecurity or he must be from a remote village who is asking his wife "aap bahir jaa kar kia kartee hain?".
hehe…oh did i mention…they are little skinny guys…atleast jab un ki tasveer dekhi thi…pre-marriage :p…not picking on their image.
khair, umm from the sounds of it, when the first auntie was telling us the story (it’s part of another story, but that is not to be applied here), they aren’t just inquisitive, they really are beginning to mind their wives going out. and again, she thinks that is just part of the first steps to prevent their wives from pursuing whatever they want to do. like pay the bills.
the girls aren’t cbcd (this is in canada), they came from pakistan, when they were like in…11th grade or something. so being like that, who would ask their future cousin-hubby if they mind them going out to study. i imagine that is not part of the sweet talk done over the internet.
i just don’t get the aap. still thinking they are their cousins or something??
Najim there are all sorts in Pakistan. I have cousins who work and their families are okay with them working and then I have other cousin and their families who look down upon the first ones for working. These cousins just may belong to that second set of people. They are definitely insecure and probably not quite in the position to put their foot down and control their wive's lives just yet.
Desi girls get jealous when they see their husbands interacting with women they dont know, its the same with guys, I dont see any reason to make a big deal about it...I think a more valid question would be how many boyfriends have you had or what have u done with them? Even tho the response will certainly be a lie, but sometimes it puts some uncertainities to rest.
I mean you bad bad girl, they deserve our respect. 
