Aap kia chahtay hain meray se?

Lifestyle Relationships
1

Last night as I was getting ready to observe Isha prayer, one of my cousin whose 8 years older than me( but doesnt look older, nor seems like there is a huge age gap between us, and is FIT) from my dad’s side called and asked me to get dressed and that too within an hour. I was shocked because he has never ever had the guts to call or ask me to go out despite him dropping me off from University to home and Home to University. I told him that there is an hour left for Isha prayer and that am not going anywhere untill I have observed my prayer. He told me not to worry because inshallah I will be offering the prayer soon. We argue over me observing prayer. He then called my mom and said “Aunty aap please Laraib ko tayar kerwa dain mai araha hoon isay pick kernay ke liay”.

My ammi came and told me to get ready. I was blank. I couldn’t believe my ammi agreed with him taking me out and accepted his invitation. :open_mouth:
I didn’t abide by his rules, such as; wear kamiz shalwar because I struggle a lot with those clothing. So I wore western, and left. As I sat in his car, he began arguing with me. “Oh why did you wear these clothing, didn’t I tell you to wear kamiz shalwar, Jao ghar jaa ke change kro and then come” I got angry because I am like who is he to tell me what to do. Exactly who these guys think they are? Is it must to accept their wishes all the time? He called my ammi and told her “Aunty please make her wear kamiz shalwar”. So I gave up and got dressed in Pakistani style. I got back into the car and he gave me a smile. I felt like punching him so hard that for the rest of his life he’ll remember everything.

Within half an hour, we came across a masjid. Oh My Beloved God, it looked so beautifull. Mashallah!!!
I just couldn’t stop looking at it. I love Masjids. The scene taht I have seen just made me feel that I am in Saudi Arabia. We finally offered prayer. After the prayer he dropped me home without every saying salaam or Allah Hafiz.
Now he texts and messages me atleast 20 times in a week. My mom is always taking his side that he is right and Laraib is wrong. Whenever I log into my html, there is always atleast 5 to 6 emails from him, and acting like a pagal. And I just feel that he is just acting as same mens out there. I may be wrong, but this is why I have posted this question to get a broader point of view and fix my ghalt soch that i may have towards him. I just don’t want to be involved in something that I may not get in future, as some of the GS users posted on the “Multiple Crushes” thread “Why fall for something you may not have or you always fall for something that you could never get”

  1. Why is he behaving like this?

  2. He and I have known each other for atleast 9 years and we have never fought with each other, but what had happend yesterday just blew off everything?

  3. Is he trying to win my heart?

  4. Is he a farishta sent to me by Allah swt?

  5. Is he trying to take my tense away and making me forget my past?

2

Re: Aap kia chahtay hain meray se?

after reading ur post, i think you should talk to ur parents. there is something going on maybe ur parents want you to get married or get engaged with him. as you have described your mum's actions of taking his side and agreeing with him and him emailing you and taking you out there must be something going on that you dont know.

talk to him about his emails as to why he emails you so much or ask talk to your mum.

3

Re: Aap kia chahtay hain meray se?

Nice name.

4

Re: Aap kia chahtay hain meray se?

talk to your parents. seems like he is interested in you.

btw, your name is quite cute.

5

Re: Aap kia chahtay hain meray se?

well he is definitely interested... better think what you want before you talk to your mum... but yeah definitetly talk to your mum if you are that close to her and find out whats going on.... otherwise you can avoid replying and get him to have some courage to either speak up or let you alone.

6

Re: Aap kia chahtay hain meray se?

It probably and most likley has something to do with marriage, especially since your Mum is siding with him and allowing you to spend time with him. He is def. not a angel (fasishta), he is a human remember? and I doubt he is trying to ease your tensions because people out of no-where don't do things like that.

7

Re: Aap kia chahtay hain meray se?

Wonders never cease, what parent forces their child to almost miss prayers and go out unchaperoned with a na mahram.
He wants you and you mom is trying to get you used to been with him.

8

Re: Aap kia chahtay hain meray se?

interesting.

9

Re: Aap kia chahtay hain meray se?

^indeed

10

Re: Aap kia chahtay hain meray se?

i hate when guys do stuff like this when they know ur not interested .. its like just bcs r a grl ur supposed to b weak n they think if they bug u enough ull agree .. wht a sick mentality ..

11

Re: Aap kia chahtay hain meray se?

He is your cousin. You've known him for 8 years. What, are you a year old? :O

12

Re: Aap kia chahtay hain meray se?

No, he 8 years older than me.

13

Re: Aap kia chahtay hain meray se?

I get the vibe that he's interested and also that your parents....especially your mom...seems supportive about the idea.

If his recent behavior.....calling you/emailing you frequently....is not typical of him (as in he never used to behave like that)....then it's possible that he's developed an interest. He obviously can't hate you if he's contacting you so many times and wants to spend time with you.

***I wouldn't rush into anything. If you find some of his actions to be off-putting.....just go with the flow....don't hope for anything. While interacting out with him...you may even find that you don't like certain aspects of his personality and there's nothing wrong with that. Being told what to wear is off-putting....but he may have asked you to wear a shalwar kameez because you were going to the masjid and he wanted you to dress accordingly.

Is he trying to make me forget about my past?" It's possible that, as your cousin, he's spending time with you to take your mind off the tension. But I don't think it's a good idea to depend upon someone else (as in start a relationship) just to forget your ex. It can potentially hurt both parties.

*"Is he a farishta sent to me by Allah swt?" * I think it's too soon to entertain such a Bollywoodish thought....and you do often sound Bollywoodish. Again, just go with the flow without forming any "future" expectations of him.

****If you end up finding out that he does have a romantic interest and that your parents are indeed thinking of a rishta between you two..............and let's say you feel he isn't the one........then you need to let both parties know otherwise we'll be reading another thread about cousin marriage drama.

14

Re: Aap kia chahtay hain meray se?

Uh, Soni, where did the OP say that she was not interested? How did you reach that conclusion? It seems that the OP is developing an interest or at the very least contemplating the idea of being with her cousin…otherwise she wouldn’t have said the following words in her thread:

"I just don’t want to be involved in something that I may not get in future, as some of the GS users posted on the “Multiple Crushes” thread “Why fall for something you may not have or you always fall for something that you could never get”

^So either the OP is contemplating matters…OR…she’s confused and doesn’t want her cousin to entertain any hope because she feels she can’t reciprocate. The wording seems to imply the former.

The frequent one-two liner bollywood interpretation and advice…where and when does it end, Soni? :hinna:

15

Re: Aap kia chahtay hain meray se?

Oh I don't think Soni is interested in your explanation RV, she just wants to bash that 'sick mentality'.

16

Re: Aap kia chahtay hain meray se?

nobody is interested in RV's explanation.......its too long , boring and logical...:D

17

Re: Aap kia chahtay hain meray se?

Ok from this whole situation I am assuming he is interested in you and surely your parents have spoken to him or his family about your marriage with him thats why she told you to dress up and change your outfit to shalwar kameez because may be this is how he wants his wife to be like wearing shalwar kameez, abiding by what ever he says. when he just saw himself as your friend he never said such things (as you said) but now most probably he knows that you are his to be wife thats why he is letting you know how he wants you to be.

I'll say speak to your parents clearly that you are not interested in him (if your arenot)

18

Re: Aap kia chahtay hain meray se?

LOL .. you guys make me laugh so hard .. i luv gs ! .. :slight_smile:

19

Re: Aap kia chahtay hain meray se?

He lovessss you. Ok not love. But clearly he is interested.

The fact he is demanding what you wear - etc. I guess he is being assertive, as some men are with their women LOL. Thas how we say it here. But I think you need talk to your parents as clearly hes talked to them and they to him

And you're just out of the loop.

Obviously you find him FIT as you put it. So yeah find out whats going on.

20

Re: Aap kia chahtay hain meray se?

vutt a coinkydinky